There Are Worse Things I Could Do

Howdy out there. Once again, I've let an insane amount of time go by in between posts. I'm guessing that if I were getting paid to do this I'd either a) be broke[r] by now or b) fired sometime about a month or so ago for not keeping up.

Thank goodness it's raining today so I can catch up on some of my laziness. Unfortunately A2 decided 6 am would be a super fun time to wake up today. I'm talking about a child that has never seen anything earlier than 8:30 am for most of his almost two years. There's nothing on television except Dora and it's waaaaay to early in the morning for that shit so we're giving Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends a whirl. It's not half bad. I've seen worse (Wonder Pets, Wow Wow Wubbzy). I'm sitting here waiting him out to see how long he can go before he has to have a nap. He didn't go to sleep until about 12:30 last night, woke up at about 4:30 crying so I went and got him and put him in bed with us and you know the rest.

We've gotten into a veeeerrry bad habit of letting him co-sleep with us for the past three or four weeks. It all started when he had a stuffy nose. I let him sleep with us because he was having a hard time breathing and my husband would have gotten out of bed at least a grazillion times to go in his room to stick his finger under the baby's nose to see if he was still breathing had I not just let him sleep with us. After that I got sick and didn't want to schlep in there in the middle of the night on the off chance he woke up and started screaming bloody murder so he continued to sleep with us and has every since then except for about three times.

I've been wanting to convert his crib into the toddler bed stage for a while now but I'm not sure he's ready for it. He has one of those lifetime cribs that changes from crib to toddler bed to full size bed. It's pretty awesome. Bad thing is, he's a very floppy sleeper and I'm sure he'd end up in the floor 6 out of 7 nights if we change it now. I think I'm willing to take that chance. Every since we lowered the mattress in it to the very last position it is a bitch to chance his sheets. I'm sure it wouldn't be so hard if I weren't such a fat ass but I tell you it's hard on a big girl to bend over that damn rail (that does not lower) to stretch a mattress pad and sheet over a mattress that I'm convinced is about two inches too big for those freaking sheets.

It's a serious health hazard every week (or sooner if he whizzes the bed) for me to change his bed clothes. Not only am I struggling to breathe because the rail is crushing my gut into my backbone, I'm tugging on those sheets so hard that I've had them slip out of my hands on more than one occasion and have popped myself in the face with some pretty strong force. I'm thinking that for that fact alone I could live with scooping him up out of the floor a few times a week. Am I a bad mom for that?

I'll tell you what I am a bad mom for.......wishing school would hurry up and start back already! A1 is at that age (a month or so away from 13) where he is bored to tears and a complete smart ass most of the time. I really don't know what to do about him right now. I try to entertain him but there is only so many board games I can take, especially since he has about a billion in his closet but he ONLY wants to play LIFE. I'm tempted to hide the spinner and let the baby take the fall for it. (Man I'm horrible) I encourage him to call some of his friends to see what they are doing to see if he could either go over to their house or come over here and hang out and he just won't do it.

I try to get him to go outside and play with A2 but that just ain't happening because I might fart and he won't know about it. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the fact that he still wants to hang out with me but come on, I get ABSOLUTELY NO privacy as it is and it wouldn't kill him to go outside or to his room and play or read or do something on his own. I was an only child and had to do it and it didn't kill me. Playing games with him isn't the bad part, I'm still a kid at heart who loves to play games, and it beats housework, but it's the snarky remarks he makes or the nasty looks he gives when I either 1) tell him I can't play right now but might later or 2) remind him to do the ONE (1, uno) chore that he has on a daily basis.

He even gets snarky if I try to get him to go just two houses down to see if the kid who lives down there might want to hang out and play video games or something. He's an only child too, about 15 or so, and he is always out riding his bike or skateboarding but A1 just won't budge. That kid and A1 could play X-Box Live with each other without even leaving their rooms if they could just coordinate when they were both going to be online. Ok, enough of that. Maybe things will even out as the summer goes forth.

Oh yeah, that "date" he was suppose to go on with those three girls was a wash. Somehow plans got screwed up and they never went. He did find out that one of the "preppy, hot" chicks from school liked him though and he was pretty excited about that.

This past weekend we built a sandbox for the boys to play in. We went to Toys R Us the weekend before looking for swing sets and while we were there I was looking at the turtle and crab sandboxs they had. The crab was too cute and I really really wanted the hubby to get it but he didn't think it was a good deal (i.e. too cheap to buy it) and said he would make one. I was skeptical at first because I envisioned some redneck mess out in my backyard and told him to just forget about it. Didn't happen. He was determined to build one so we talked about it for a few days to see if we were on the same page about what it would look like.

I'm pretty darn excited to say that we made an awesome sandbox. He made it out of 2x8x8 boards that he nailed, bracketed and screwed together so that the weight of the sand and kids wouldn't cause it to fall apart. I told him I wanted to paint it so we got blue, red, orange, and green spray paint and painted each side a different color. A1, A2, and I went yesterday to get stencils and we are going to stencil the ABC's all around it in yellow along with some bugs and worms that we got in a stencil too.

We have green panels that we were thinking about using for a top to keep the neighborhood cats from crapping in it but haven't decided 100% on that yet. I think Hubby dear is wanting to cheap out on me and take the panels back and just use a tarp. I haven't decided what I'm going to let him do yet but I must say the boys love their new sandbox. A1 has been digging trenches and he even buried himself in it the first day. A2 loves to play in the sand but only from the outside of the box right now. It will take him a while to warm up to getting completely inside the box. He was the same way with walking in the grass barefooted. He acted like it was hot lava for the longest time but now he doesn't think twice about it and we all run around here with no shoes on about 90% of the time.

What else is there? Hubby's brother came up this weekend to hang out for Memorial Day. It was pretty fun. The guys all played video games and played in the pool. It was still a little too cold for me to get in so I just watched and was the designated picker upper of toys they knocked out of the pool by acting like crazed monkeys. We set the badminton net up and played that a little bit too. Vacation was brought up and it was pretty apparent that she was gung ho about going but he avoided the conversation at all cost. I'm pretty sure we are going because he already promised his son (that he only gets to see on rare occasions these days) and because she is already looking forward to it and he's not completely heartless but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that the whole time we are gone he will be wishing he was home with somebody else. Woo hoo - big fun ahead! Note to self: Self, NEVER agree to go on vacation with indecisive family again!! Thank you.

Here's the part where I tell you how big of a looohooosser I am. Last week I was sick right.... I had a pretty legitimate excuse for not working out since I could barely hold my head up much less anything else. Well this week I said frigg it and here it is Thursday(!!!!!) and I still haven't hit a lick downstairs. We're talking about going on vacation and I'm just going to have to be the chubby chick on the beach who is owning her fat thighs and belly rolls. Hubby went to the athletic club on Tuesday because he jumped on the scale Monday night and started freaking out.

I'm just burnt out on doing the same routine on my Blowflex and that treadmill is great to run on but I'm a little bored with it too. I did sit down and try to pick a new workout routine for the Blowflex but that lasted about as long as a fart in a windstorm. I swear I really need to find some sort of motivation. It's not like I am looking to lose a massive amount of weight just enough to feel better about looking in the mirror. Right now I avoid that at all cost.

I do get out and do things. I go for walks with the boys almost every day pulling A2 in his wagon. We play out in the yard doing different stuff, I go shopping which requires walking and, if I'm lucky, some lifting of bags, I check the garden and the trees and flowers we have been planting around here, I walk downstairs to feed the fish everyday......shouldn't all of this count for something??!! Current weight: 149.7.....yuck (for me)!

Guess I'm just going to have to sit here today while it's rainy and force myself to print out a new workout routine and create a snazzy new workout playlist for my iPod and get my lazy ass down there and actually work out hard. Wonder if posting progress pictures would help to motivate me? I'll keep you posted.

What I'm listening to in the background: Look at me I'm Sandra Dee from the Grease Soundtrack, up next Summer Lovin' and Greased Lightning.

Grease = Best.Soundtrack.Ever.

If you could use a smile then click here.

Random Shit

If I had to describe how I have felt all day and how I continue to feel at this very moment, I would have to say "like shit."

Coincidentally, I look and smell like shit as well.

Oh, and funny thing? So does my house.

Because I'm not a very good housekeeper sometimes, especially when I feel this shitty.

I feel like shit (I need a shit-o-meter to count the number of times I can say shit in one post) because we keep passing this crud that started with A1 a couple of weekends ago back and forth to one another. His strain consisted of a runny nose and general feeling bad. He then passed it to the husband whose strain consisted of runny nose, sore throat, and feeling crappy. My strain has mutated into this horrible thing that causes my left nostril to completely clog sporadically throughout the day, my head feels like someone has used it for an all night bongo session, my throat feels like there is a brillo pad stuck smack dab in the middle of it, I have less energy than usual, and my feet are hot as hell.

I'm not sure what my feet being so hot has to do with anything other than it's not very freaking comfortable. SHIT!

I've taken every type of cold medicine we have in our cabinet to alleviate the symptoms but they are helping out ZERO!

I was almost embarrassed to post about this because it seems that there is always some sort of sickness going around our house. What are we freaks?!

I haven't had a shower in two days, I haven't washed my hair since maybe Monday. I'm pretty gross. I was going to jump in the shower this afternoon but my husband ordered a load of sand to be delivered here this morning so we could put up our pool. We don't have a level spot for it, it's one of the 4 foot inflatable ones, so we have to improvise. I helped him spread the pool out and it's outside filling up as I type with two hoses going at full blast.

Anyway, I was advised not to wash clothes, dishes, or my ass today while it was filling up so that it wouldn't take as long and the sooner we get the water in the faster it will warm up and we can play in it. He said we shouldn't run any excess water until it was done.

I'm wondering now if that was a jab at the size of my ass since he said I should wait til it was finished. Huummmph. I'll have to bitch him out about that one later!

I won't be too hard on him though because after all the years we've been together, today he proved how much he loves me. We were all moving the swing set over to another spot in the yard when my nose did that whole clog up in an instant thing. I was struggling to breathe so I told him, "hang on I need to blow my nose." He scoffed and said "can't you just wait a second", well, umm, no I couldn't, I was literally struggling to breathe. So, being the lady that I am, I forewarned him that I was just gonna have to blow a snot rocket and to turn around so he couldn't see it.

He turned around alright, but when I blew it, it hit the back of his leg....on his calf. He turned around and said, "Did you have to blow it on me? We've got two acres right here and you had to hit ME!" "Hope you can breathe now" and then he kissed me on top of the head.

LOVE.THAT.MAN!

On to other less gross things. Not sure how the vacation thing is going to end up. The bad thing about trying to plan a vacation with another family is well, the other family! This whole thing started out with his brother telling him that he needed to take off this specific week in June so we could all go on vacation together. They said it about a billion times. Then they started looking at places to go and calling us every five minutes asking if we thought "such and such" would be a good place to go. We said we didn't care where we went that we were just glad to get to tag along.

It went from that to them telling my husband that he needs to look at some places and make reservations. Well he found a few spots and called them to see what they thought and they said, "we'll have to get back with you" and then they never did. I asked them last night about it and she acted like I kicked her cat when I brought it up. I'm guessing they had a falling out and now they don't want to go on vacation anymore and are afraid to tell us. Or, he wants to go still but he doesn't want her to go. It's a kooky relationship. Who knows!! I could care less at this point. I told hubby that if they bail on us then we can just go somewhere closer, cheaper, and fun without them.

Oh, guess what? My son, A1, has a "date" tomorrow night. It will be his first "drop off" and I'm not sure how I feel about it. He is supposed to meet three (as in 1,2,3) girls at the movies tomorrow. I'm contemplating the whole sneak back in and sit a few rows back thing but not sure yet if I could pull it off. My dad asked him how all three girls were going to sit beside him in the theater and my sweet, innocent, child replied, "one of them will just have to sit in my lap".

GRRRREEAAAT!! Is there a button I can push to skip the upcoming teenage years? He informed me the other day in casual conversation that there were two (2!!!!!) girls pregnant at his school. He's in freaking middle school!!! Ho-leeee Hell! What am I in for? The more I think about it I'm really not opposed to letting my boys live in a bubble and never leaving the house again. I'm just a super mom like that.

Oh well, at least he talks to me about stuff like this. He and I are pretty close and I'm praying it stays that way. I've tried to make him feel as comfortable as possible about telling me anything. He's very mature for his age and we have talked about pretty much everything you can think of. I don't volunteer but if he asks I tell. What else can I do?

A little bit of good news - A2 is over his fear of sitting on the big potty. Woo hoo for that! His daddy took him in there the other day and we actually got our first real use out of the Spongebob potty ring. You may recall that when we first got it he thought it would make an awesome necklace and his dad had to pry it off his big ol' melon head.

I've since gotten him to use it three times and that's with him asking on his own. Potty training this one is going to be a breeze, thank the good Lord above for that! I was more than a little anxious about it. I guess our "open door" thing we have going on around here has helped him a lot. There is NO way anyone around here, especially ME, can go to the bathroom without A2 standing right there in front of you giving the hawk eye. And if you dare try to close the door he stands outside of it beating it as hard as he can or better yet, screaming bloody murder until you relent mid-poop and open the freaking door. I mean come on, who can get a good poop out with someone raising that much hell outside the door?

OOOh, I did something just for me yesterday. I got a pedicure. I almost cancelled it because I felt like death warmed over but figured it would do me good to get up and get out. I got a gift certificate from hubby dear for my birthday way back in December and it was about to expire so I made the appointment over a week ago when I wasn't a human snot fountain. It felt sooo good to have someone rubbing my feet. I had on a pair of shorts and she was rubbing my ankles and calfs, she massaged the back of my knees, she kept on moving up til, I was starting to think I should have done some landscaping before coming for the appointment. She finally stopped at the top of my knee thank goodness. Now my toes are sparkly pink. It won't last long though. I walk around here primarily barefoot and going to the garden is going to have them all jacked up in no time.

Confession time: **Hanging head in shame** I haven't worked out since Friday. I could have on Saturday or Sunday but didn't. My parents came up Saturday afternoon and spent the night with us so that was my excuse for that night. Sunday, I was just lazy and wanted to watch Desperate Housewives. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I was sick. Today I'm still sick but I have to MAKE myself do it.

I haven't even been listening to my iPod this week. The girl has been sick I tell ya!

I've been a Nosey Nelly this week watching our neighbors moving out of the house they finally sold after almost a year on the market, jacked up to an unreasonable amount. I can't wait to see who is moving in though. I hear they have two boys which could be good for A1. He has never had boys to play with in a neighborhood, only girls. I think I may know who it is though, I was mowing one Saturday and a couple was looking that had two boys, I'm guessing around 8 or 9ish. She was a cute little blond chick and he looked like Don Ho.

That's really all I got for now. Talk to you later computer buds!

Among Friends

Recent conversation between myself and Friend 1 and Friend 2 while out shopping with each other.

Friend 1: "You know, I don't think they are making size 8 as big as they use to." "I think they are making everything smaller than they did a couple of years ago!"

Me: "Oh, my God! I was so totally thinking that a while back but didn't want to say anything because I figured you two would make fun of me."

Friend 2 (who is every bit a size 4): "Whatever bitches!" "They still make them the same" "Your fat asses have just stretched out everything you have at home. " "Let's go eat."

True friends tell you like it is!!