Friday, August 31, 2007

My How Time Does Fly

So here I sit the last day of August scratching my head and wondering where in the crap did the summer get off to? Oh yeah I remember now, it sped by me while I was trapped inside the house because it was too darn hot to set foot outside for longer than five seconds for fear of bursting into flames. (How's that for a run-on Mrs. Webb??!!)

Thank goodness it has cooled down a wee bit and by cool I mean it's only 90 degrees outside today and tomorrow it'll only be 91. I may need a sweater!

Today was preschool orientation and I could tell by the tensing up of A2's entire body as soon as we walked into the classroom that the first few drop offs were NOT going to be pretty. Really looking forward to that! Really!

The lady had me all confused though because he was originally going to go on Tuesdays and Thursdays but I was informed today that it'll be Mondays and Wednesdays. I can live with that. I'm just planning on hitting the gym when I drop him off anyway.

I'm happy to report that my weigh in today had me at 145.3. I threw in that .3 because it was thatfrigginclose to being 144. I'm not noticing the pounds coming off as much as I'm noticing a toning up of various areas. I'd still like to hit my goal of 125 but the number isn't consuming me. Even though it was against his better judgment my husband even went out and bought me one of those neoprene waist trimmers so I could strap it on when I worked out to help sweat out some of that extra water weight. I have to admit it probably is a gimmick but what the hell it makes me feel better to wear it and see all the sweat pouring off of me when I'm done. I'm convinced this whole weight loss thing takes as much mental exercise as well as it does physical.

Anyway, I was getting ready to go this morning and decided to wear this pair of white ragged jeans that I've been dying to get up around my buttocks for the longest time, if they would fit that is, and would you believe that they came up and buttoned without ANY effort whatsoever! (Remind me to take a picture of that!!) I can distinctly remember the day where they would not come halfway up my thighs. Seriously, they stalled out about midway, I kid you not! Needless to say, after putting those things on I was feeling pretty good about myself when I left the house this morning.

Here's the 8's I wore today.

Yes, I wore a shirt that came down far enough to cover up the bulges on the sides. The real issue here is that these very pants DID NOT FIT not too long ago. Maybe in a week or two I can put them on again and not scare young children.

I went to Old Navy today to kill time after going to the orientation and before meeting the husband for lunch and bought a pair of $9 "skinny" (the label said it) jeans in a size 10 thinking they wouldn't look so stressed if stretched across the bootay. When I tried those suckers on after I got home guess what? They fit and were actually a smidgen too big around the top part of the waist. Size 10! I could have bought an 8! Granted it was just a smidgen. A smidgen isn't much but I'll take what I can get. Oh well, enough about that.

Here's the "skinny jeans". Too bad they don't do much for those thunder thighs.

All I got's to say is "thank goodness for low rise and stretch right now," otherwise they probably wouldn't fit.

I'm working on it. Not loving it but working on it!

On to a more melancholy topic for just a quick second. Today is the 10th anniversary of Princess Diana's tragic accident. I can remember where I was at when I heard the news and I can remember in great detail the emotions surrounding all the media coverage. It was such a sad moment in time. I think I layed on my couch and watched the coverage around the clock until the last news clip aired. I was completely consumed. I wanted to watch some of the memorial tribute today but haven't had a chance to sit down and watch more than 15 minutes of anything all day. I really hope they show some of it tonight and I get a chance to see some of it.

I did see a clip with Matt Lauer talking to the boys and they honored their mother with such a beautiful ceremony from what I did see and loving speeches. It made me really stop to think about what type of mother I wanted my two boys to think of me as when I get older or heaven forbid something ever happen to me. There is no doubt she was a wonderful mother. Princess Diana truly loved her boys and instilled very strong values in the both of them. She would be so proud of them today. I can only hope my boys love me as much as those two obviously love her even still in death.

Today also marks another loss but one that is closer to home. I met a boy when I was in 8th grade who had been adopted by one of the more "prominent" families in our little hometown. Before you get the wrong idea we were just friends and never anything more. His name was Brad and he had the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen. He was such a fun loving character and was very mischievous. He loved to joke around with everybody and more importantly he loved to play basketball. Matter of fact, I met him for the first time at the civic center playing basketball with some of his friends when me and my friend went there to show off some of our balling skillz and mostly stare at the boys that were there. (MLB I'm talking about you! I mean come on, did we really need to curl our bangs and put on make-up just to go play basketball??)

As the years went by we never became bestest buds or anything but we would hang out occasionally with our groups of friends and he was always the life of the party. He was actually someone you wanted to be at the party because you were guaranteed a good time if he was there. Sometimes he was a little overbearing and obnoxious but we all loved him for it anyway. He was Brad.

On this date 13 years ago he was driving his BMW way too fast around the corner road near the middle school and rammed into a utility pole. The car was demolished and he didn't survive. Some say he was drunk. They were probably right since I know where he was just hours before. Some say he was being chased by some guys that wanted to kick his ass. They were probably right about that too.

The thing that I'm 100% sure about was that he died too young. I was at home with my friend Mechelle when we got the call. All we could do was sit there in disbelief and then cry. How could that happen to someone so young and full of life? I guess I'll never have the answer to that. It's not like he was the first person in our small town to die like that, in fact there are too many to mention. Brad just held a special place in my heart because he didn't care what people thought of him, he was out to have fun and to make sure if you were around him that you were having fun too. Brad was truly someone special. To some he may be forgotten and to others just a part of their past but if no one else thinks about him on this day, I hope he somehow knows that I do.

May you always walk in sunshine Bradley.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I Need A New Blog Name and Possibly A Drink

This whole notion I had of posting every day now that I have a new computer has lasted about as long as a fart in a windstorm. When I made the comment about posting every day, little did I know that my days would be too full to do that.

What are my days full of that keeps me from taking a few minutes to myself and pounding out a quick blog entry?

Well for one, I'm in the midst of potty training a two year old that needs to "bee pee" every five freaking seconds and half the time when I get him in there he decides that "naw" don't need to "bee pee".

Arrrgh!! Bear in mind that now I have completely stripped him down because he seems to have this "George Costanza thing" about using the bathroom. I'll never understand why he has to take all of his clothes off just to take a two second whiz. But since he's now changed his mind and no longer wants to go, I have to chase his little naked butt all over the house just to get his diaper back on him.

Is it wrong that I've ignored him a couple of times when he's said he needs to go "bee pee"? If so, who gives a shit!!

Not only am I doing that but since I bought him the movie Cars last week he has become obsessed with all things Cars. (Curse you Disney!!) I've gone from never seeing this blasted movie before six days ago to having had the pleasure of either viewing it or hearing it blaring in the background about 15 bazillion times.

Heaven forbid it takes me longer than a freaking nanosecond to restart the thing once it goes off. He doesn't even watch it half the time, he just want to HEAR it while he's playing with his two cases of matchbox cars that he's now dumped in the middle of the living room floor that he NEVER can figure out how to get back into the cases. I handle those cars at least three to four times a day picking them up for him to just dump out again.

Only good thing about Cars going in the background......I'm getting a break from Spongebob and Toy Story. I've contemplated hiding the Toy Story DVD just for my own sanity. It's not that I don't like Toy Story, it's actually one of my favorite Disney movies ever, but keep in mind that it came out close to 10 years ago and right around that time A1 was about 2 and had to watch it over and over and over and freaking over way back then. I can't tell you how many times I've seen it! Now it's A2's turn and he seems to love "Buugg" and "Woowoo" just as much as his brother did.

Yay 4 me!

So let me go back to the whole Cars obsession thing A2 has going on right now though. Saturday afternoon the husband came home from his week long work trip and since it wasn't over 150 degrees I decided to let A2 play outside since it's been forever that we've had the chance. He started running around and was actually proud of himself for "running so fast". Only problem with that, according to his father, was that he was **gasp** barefooted.

{Insert lecture on how I shouldn't let that baby run around all over the place with no shoes here. He could step on something, it makes his feet filthy, he needs support, it hurts him when he drags his toes on the pavement, blah blah blah.}

I told the husband that he doesn't enjoy wearing shoes and when he does, he only likes to wear his Spongebob crocs and they don't make for very good running. That didn't register with him at all.

So what do we do? We load up and go to Wal-Mart. Why. Because it's been a whole week since my husband crossed their threshold and was starting to go into withdrawals. He'd never admit to that though. We didn't need anything but he just wanted to go.

While we were there he wandered over to the shoe department to "just measure" A2's feet. "It'll only take a second."

Yeah right.

Needless to say A2 came out of there with a new pair of shoes that look like little race cars because naturally the Disney Cars characters were everywhere in that freaking shoe aisle.

I'm cool with it though because he loves his new shoes but he also loves to make me put them on him and then about five minutes later take them off. It's a vicious cycle. He wants them on. He wants them off, ad nauseam. He isn't coordinated enough yet to do it by himself so if I don't do it RIGHT THEN he isn't happy (read: pitches a bitch fit).

So that's how I spend the majority of my time now, going to "bee pee" and putting "Cars sheews o0n" and taking them "ouff". Ah the monotony that is my life!

But don't feel sorry for me. I manage to do a few other things too like changing the bed sheets for the second time in as many days because SOMEONE spilled milk in the middle of my bed while chasing the cat.

I also get to clean up cat puke since she's officially freaked the fuck out from being chased by a toddler that enjoys sneaking up behind her and squealing at the top of his lungs. Plus, he's figured out that if he catches her in just the right position he can actually PICK.HER.UP.

Talk about squeeing with delight! He loves her so much and wants to tote her around so bad that every chance he gets to get her even a millimeter off the ground he is so proud of himself. Poor Jess, I swear if we had lower ceilings I'm convinced she'd be hanging upside down off of it shivering with her hair standing on end like Claude the cartoon cat on Looney Tunes.

Matter of fact, I've included this short clip to give you an idea of what goes on around here involving A2 and the cat. Keep in mind the likenesses have been changed to protect the "innocent". Jesse will be portrayed by Claude the cat and A2 will be portrayed by Frisky the pup.


In between all of that I SOMEHOW manage to find the time to pull out some chicken nuggets out of the freezer to microwave for mister "I only eat things drenched with sugar" that I'm sure will either get tossed in the trash, eaten by his brother or batted around on the floor by the cat.

So if you check back on a daily basis and don't find any recent posts, pray for me because I'm probably THISCLOSE to losing my freaking mind!!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Race is ON!

Finally, somebody took me up on my offer to lose weight with me. Thanks Daddy! I somehow knew you'd come through.

Since I'm putting this in writing you have to stick to it!

Here's the deal: Both of us want need to lose at least 25 pounds. I'm not going to put his weight on here because I'm sweet like that, but my target is 125. There can't be any cheating like starving since we want to do this the proper way and keep the weight off once it does start to come off.

The first person to reach their target weight gets a $25 iTunes gift card from the other person. That's $1 per pound. Can't beat that.

I'm doing this to feel better about myself, and to finally be able to stop bitching about not fitting into any of my clothes, he's doing this because it's doctor's orders.

Since I'd like for him to be around for another 50+ years this is a win win situation.

My personal goal is this: Choose my calories wisely and limit the amount I take in each day. I'd love to do some sort of exercise every day but that is next to impossible around here. I'll do as much as I can without having CPS come take away my children for neglect and not beat myself up about it if I can't do it one night. Or three.

Tonight I didn't get to work out because I had to walk "SOMEBODY" though the steps on how to reload their iTunes/iPod back up. That only took a couple of hours! It's all good though, I'll just make up for it Thursday.

Speaking of iPod, I'm SOOO heartbroken. I went to use mine Tuesday night and when I went to turn it on I noticed that it had a crack in the screen. A crack. In my beloved iPod. I was crushed more like it. Don't know how it happened but I wanted to throw up right then. I tried to take it back to the store but they pretty much said, "sorry 'bout your luck, we ain't helping."

It's still technically covered under the Apple warranty but since it's more of a user damage thing they aren't willing to do much about it either. Even if there was something wrong with it internally they wanted to charge me about $40 to ship it back to them so they could turn around and send me one that was refurbished. That sucks doodie balls! Who wants somebody else's busted up iPod that they had to fix??!! Not me!

I'll just stick with my busted up ghetto iPod (new name for it now, gPod). Sad thing is, I try really hard to take care of it but from the looks of it you couldn't tell. I snipped the earbuds with the yard trimmers a while back, I blogged about it somewhere around here, and since it didn't completely sever it I put clear tape around the exposed wires and then wrapped a Spongebob band-aid around that and now I have the cracked screen.

Doesn't get more ghetto than that! Oh well, at least it still plays! Plus, with the Spongebob band-aid on them, I never have to look to see if I'm sticking them in the right ears. The left one is the screwed up one. Doesn't take a genius to remember that. Thank goodness.

Back to the topic at hand. For the record, I was down to 146 over the weekend, but tonight while on the phone with my counterpart, I came in at 148. It's going to take a lot of discipline to really stick to it this time for the both of us, but someone said not too long ago that if you TRULY want to change you can.

Good luck Daddy. But I can't wait to get my $25 iTunes card!

What I'm listening to right now on the gPod: Madonna's La Isla Bonita.

It's too late to edit so once again, point and laugh at any mistakes.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Mad Skillz

I'm so proud of myself right now I could scream. I didn't do anything earth shattering so don't go getting excited on me.

I got a new cell phone last week because the cell rep sent Hubs a free phone to try out for his work and he didn't want to flaunt it in my face since I've been using the same suck ass phone forever now so he gave it to me. He's sweet, I know.

Anyway, it wasn't anything too special but the more I play with it the more I love this freaking phone. It's the Nokia 6085 phone that has the built in camera and music player. The camera I can do without but the music player is AwEsOmE! I've got about 30 songs stored on it right now and they actually sound pretty good coming out of the one little speaker on the back.

The only bad thing about this phone is that it comes with less than stellar ringtones. I'm a ringtone whore! I have to have cool ringtones or I'm not happy. Shallow I know, but it's the little things that make me happy.

Since I can't foresee paying over $2 a pop for about 15 seconds of music I sat here on my new computer and figured out how to make my own ringtones via iTunes.

How cool is that??!!

I'm sure this is nothing new to you but to me it kicks ass!

My computer has a built in SD drive and the phone has a built in mini SD drive so what I did was take snippets of songs I wanted to use as a ringtone, converted it to an Mp3, and saved it to the mini SD for the phone.

They work like a charm. I've been busy organizing everyone on my phone into groups so I can assign each person their own ringtone. I've only done a few but it has been so much fun that I can't wait to do more tomorrow. I know, it's sad.

Now I just have to think of a snippet I want to use for my each of my in-law's. That should be interesting!

Can you tell the husband is gone for the week and I've spent entirely too much time sitting on my ass today? I didn't even work out today, that's how bad I've got it.

I guess I could technically get up from here and do some crunches before I go to bed. Don't hold your breath though and don't get offended if I lie about it if you ask me whether or not I actually followed through with them.

I Got Me Some New Clicks!!

Yep that's corny but I was trying to make a play on words. (Just picture me sitting here with a giant L on my forehead.) When you get new shoes you say you got some new kicks right? Well, hubby bought me us (dammit, I hate saying that!) a new computer and I didn't know about it until it arrived on Friday! How cool is that?! I could not be happier. I haven't had a new computer in a hundred years and have been forced to use one of A1's extras for the last several months after mine officially crapped out on me.

Now I have no excuse other than downright laziness to blog every single day. Besides I have nothing but free time on my hands this week. Hubby is gone for training this week so it's just me and the boys. I'll probably clean the house up today and not have to worry about it again until later in the week because for some strange reason the house doesn't get HALF as dirty when Hubs isn't home. He doesn't believe me when I say that but it's sooo true. When it's just me and the boys about the most effort I have to put out is keeping the bathrooms clean and picking up a few toys here and there.

I'm sure I'll be spending about 90% of my time taking A2 to go "bee pee" in the potty so I'll have stuff to do. For the past week or so he has been asking to go to the potty on a much more regular basis and it's working out so good. He's loving it and I'm excited that it's taking minimal effort on my part to "train" him. We never forced the issue with him but just showed him the potty and clapped like a deranged monkey when he would use it. I'm guessing that's the only reason he goes potty so much these days. I'm convinced he has a warped sense of humor and it amazes him that his mother is such a nut ball and acts crazy over the fact that he takes a leak in a little pot on the floor, plus I'm sure the mini M&M's I give him help the situation a bit too.

Yesterday I bet we made 15 trips to the potty before 12 and he didn't get up until about 10. Since he was so into using the potty, I had the brilliant idea to put underwear on him because I'm guessing I had a serious brain fart and thought it would be cute.

What the hell was I thinking?

I should have remembered from way back in the day (about 11 years ago) with A1 that as soon as the big boy underwear go on the evil underwear sends some sort of message to the wearers brain to let them know it's time to take a major dump for mom to have to clean up and out of said brand new underwear.

Big fun. Needless to say, the diaper went back on and we didn't fool with the big boy drawers any more other than to get the ginormous racing stripe out.

Ok, I'm tired of talking about the bathroom habits of my child now so I'm moving along. I hear you sighing in relief.

My new obsession these days (nope, not so much the numbers on the scale) but: Looking for the new Cher dolls to hit store shelves. How sad is that? I collect Barbie dolls, not all of them, just celebrity dolls. I have all but the first three I Love Lucy dolls, all of the Gone with the Wind dolls, the Wizard of Oz set, Sandy from Grease and a couple of others. I have always wanted a Cher doll every since I saw the one that came out about six years ago but never got my hands on. That doll now goes for close to $100 plus shipping on eBay, greedy bastards. If I thought I could get away with it I would buy her but I'm guessing Hubby would KILL me if I did that.

Anyway, I was browsing the Barbie collector site the other day and saw that they were releasing three new Cher dolls. Holy Freaking Cow! I was excited. Unfortunately and like most everything else in my life, I found out too late in the game to get the first one. The ass clowns at Mattel decided it would be a neat idea to make the first doll an online exclusive and only make 1000 of them. What a douche bag thing to do! So of course I didn't get one and didn't actually find out that it was an online only thing until last week. I was crushed. At least there are two others I would have a chance at getting since they weren't set to be released until this month.

The thing that sucks about the dolls being released is the fact that, according to the site, they were not suppose to release the next two until certain set dates this month but guess what? They are already on eBay. The individual dealers evidently get them first and can put them out for sale before the official release date. Not such a big deal I guess. Lucky for me though, I was browsing the aisles the other day at Wal-Mart for shitz and giggles and guess who was sitting there waiting for me to pluck her off the shelf? 80's Cher! I managed to snag the one of her dressed in the black outfit with curly hair.

Now I'm obsessed with finding 70's Cher and if I don't find her in the stores I'm planning on hounding Hubby relentlessly until I get her from eBay. I'm a little worried about this one. I think it's the coolest of the three and hope that everybody else doesn't pick up on that and decide to snatch up all of them and then price them about five times the retail price. Plus she was suppose to come out before the 80's one according to the site. So with that said, if you see a Cher doll anywhere dressed in a white Native American looking outfit PLEASE.LET.ME.KNOW!

Seriously, let me know.

Told you I was obsessed. I could use to get a life but, **shrugging shoulders** meh, I'm happy!

One other little tidbit I'm going to share right now is the fact that...wait for it, wait for it, I.Lost.Four.Pounds.Last.Week! Woo-freaking-hoo!

Yes, I am still struggling with my weight issues but I finally made up my mind to get, and stay, serious about reaching my goal of 125 pounds. I started out several months ago at 150 and, as of the other day, I'm down to 146. I look better than I did several months ago though because I do understand the concept of building muscle first and that muscle weighs more than fat so the numbers on the scale aren't going to automatically start going down. I've trained myself to stop jumping on the scale every single day and waiting at least a week before weighing in. That took a lot of effort and self control though.

My biggest obstacle before was myself. I expected instant gratification and because the scale and I were not on the same page I would get discouraged and give up. Now I have a different mindset and it seems to finally be paying off.

As my routine now, I've been running everyday, of course I couldn't for the past three days though, ugh, and watching my caloric intake. I'm not starving myself at all but cutting back on all of the junk and most importantly the amount of cokes I drink.

I try to use the Bowflex at least three or four times a week and rigged up a makeshift plug (the movers lost mine) for my exercise ball so I can do sit ups on it. Actually my sister in law gave me some golf tees to try and they worked perfectly. I have to admit I know it's a slow process but I feel better now that I'm actually starting to see tiny results.

My plan is to start going to the gym that's a whopping mile and a half down the street from my house on Tuesdays and Thursdays when A2 starts going to preschool. He starts the first Tuesday in September. He'll be there from 9:30 to 12 on those days and the church he's going to be going to is only about three miles away from the gym. There really isn't any good excuse I could come up with to not start going on those days. Besides, I think doing different things will help me stay motivated. I'm hoping to find some chick to play racquetball with or maybe even start working out with while there.

Regarding preschool, I have such mixed emotions about A2 going. On the one hand I'm looking forward to it so he can play with other kids his age and I can have a little while to myself but on the other hand, how am I going to manage without my baby!! Oh well, I'm sure there will be more to come on that since it keeps getting closer and closer as the days go by.

Ok, my tush has officially gone numb so I've got to get up and at least try to get a little bit accomplished around here. Besides I have to at least clean the bathrooms and make the beds so I can justify sitting around and playing on my new computer for hours!

It feels good to be back. Thanks for hanging around while I was off being a slacker! I've got tons more to gab about so ya'll come back now, ya hear!

Friday, August 10, 2007

And it's about Glamour!

Woo hoo, it's my 100th post! I should have passed this mark a long time ago, especially since I started working on this particular post last Friday and I'm just now getting it up. But if you've been following along you already know that I have a tendency to lean towards the lazy side and for me to reach 100 at this point is AwEsOmE. Go me, oh yeah, it's my birthday. Oh sorry. That was suppose to just stay in my head.

School started back yesterday last Thursday and A1 looked totally cute in his new duds and wearing his messenger bag across his chest. He's waaay too cool for a regular backpack these days. I've decided not to go into a lot of specifics regarding him from now on because since he's a teenager now I want to give him a little bit of respect and privacy. We've all been there and had my parents told daily stories about my awkward teenage screwups years for all the world (or just the two of you that read me) to see I would have been mortified. Besides A2 provides plenty of fodder these days for me to dish out. Not to mention the goofy stuff my husband and I do on a daily basis.

So anyway I'm so happy that my 100th is going to be about one of my most favorite things in the Glamour magazine! I don't remember how I got started reading it because it was at least 13 or maybe even 14 years ago when I started. Can't remember if it was before or right after A1 was born. Nonetheless, I started reading it and was hooked. Something about it drew me in and to this day has yet to let me go.

I have to admit that when I first started reading it I mostly read for the sex articles and to make fun of the ridiculous outfits they featured in the back. Who in the hell wore that stuff? No one I knew, then again I'm from the south and we're content to wear our jeans and t-shirts any day to anything. If you were looking for Carrie Bradshaw in my neck of the woods you'd be hard pressed to find her and her funky outfits.

As the years have gone by I've found myself reading it for more than the sex articles because come on, how many years in a row can they claim to have discovered 57 new sexual positions to bring out the tigress in every woman??!!

In all the years I have subscribed to Glamour they have only missed sending me one issue. That's pretty frikkin' awesome. But then again I'm probably on their "red alert list to make sure come hell or high water this crazy bitch gets her issue." When I missed my one issue I must admit I went ape shit and called and pretty much demanded it to be overnighted to me.

Did I mention I live for this magazines arrival every month?

My Glamour is like an old friend and I look forward to catching up with it all the time. Another reason I get excited when it comes is somehow over the years it has managed to arrive in the mailbox when I am in the throws of PMS and I'm pissed at the world. Something about seeing that plastic covered magazine makes a crabby girl yell "squeeee" washes away all the bitchiness. If only for a little while.

I have a ritual that I go through as soon as I get it. I first determine whether or not it's a good month. By that I mean if it's a thick magazine it's a good month, if it's skinny then it's not so great. Size indeed matters! I rip the plastic off grab it by the spine and shake out the 45 or so renewal inserts that bug the piss out of me. Toss all of that in the trash and tell the guys to not bother me for at least a good hour or so. That never works but at least I give them fair warning that I WILL be ignoring them for at least that long.

I always start by reading the back page first. It's my favorite thing in the whole magazine. That's the do's & don'ts page. I'm convinced I'll see someone I know on that page someday. Possibly even myself - I can't have this hair my entire life and not get it snapped as a don't at least once!

From the back page I flip to the page before that to the glamour list page. It's usually something silly like June's "8 bad reasons to marry the guy" but it's still funny to read. From there I go one more page backwards to the horoscopes or as they call them glamourscopes. Every month the same thing, I'll find true love and the perfect outfit to wear to the perfect party. Yadda yadda. After that I flip it over and start at the beginning.

I don't read every single article in the first sitting. I usually flip through the entire thing and read what seems interesting at the time. I use to look forward to Jake: A Man's Opinion but original Jake got married and they now have a new one and I don't love him that much. I'm hoping he'll grow on me. Right now he's trying too hard to be funny and it feels more like I'm on a bad date with him myself rather than reading an interesting article.

I do have one complaint about Glamour and it's the fact that they promote all this healthy you stuff and want you to eat right and exercise, yet they still have advertisements for cigarettes on at least one full page. Go figure.

Once I've given it the initial read through I put it down and save the rest for later. I use to save them all and never throw any of them away. Sadly I had to let them go when we made our last move. I could have kept them if I wanted but decided I'd send them to the big recycling bin in the sky, or the one down the road that pays by the pound for stuff you turn in. Do you know how much that many years of Glamour magazines weigh? Enough for a trip to Gap AND Old Navy! W00T!!

We get other magazines here and I usually flip through them all but only halfheartedly. I mostly just flip through and look at the pictures. Somehow the hubs got on a mailing list that sent him about five different magazines, Maxim, Stuff, FHM, and a couple others for about eight years for $2. Naturally he was all over that.

Thankfully we are almost at the end of some of those magazines because all they do is collect in the bathroom and I'm tired of looking at them. I'm betting all of them together would equal a nice shopping spree to Aeropostale or Gymboree for the boys. (Note to self: Find a box to stuff all of hubs magazines in a little at a time so he doesn't miss them.)

So there it is, my 100th post and while I'm sure it was a little boring it was about something I really enjoy and gives me something to look forward to every month. That $12 a year is the best thing hubby could do for me (and himself since it gives him a little relief when I'm at my PMS worst).

Thanks Conde Nast!

What magazines can you not live without?

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Did I Mention?

I know I mentioned this in my first post this morning but holy hell it's hot here! I don't know what I was thinking, but A2 had been couped up in the house all day with his brother and I felt sorry for him since he LOVES to go outside.

Hubs wasn't home yet at around 6 so I decided to take him outside for just a few minutes. I could see that there was a breeze outside and I figured it had cooled off at least a little bit and it wouldn't hurt to go out for at least 20 minutes or so.

Wrong. Oh, so wrong.

We got the wagon out of the garage and A1 and I were just going to pull him up to the cul-de-sac, which is about two (!!) houses down from where we are, and back just so he could enjoy being outside for a few minutes.

Oh.My.Lord. I thought I was going to pass-the-hell-out before I made it back to our driveway. If I weren't the good mom that I am, I would have ditched the wagon and called "every man for themselves" on getting back to the house.

The worst part of my brilliant idea was that the whole time we were outside my tummy was full of gas from the bowl of beans and cornbread that I had eaten earlier for lunch and I had so much pressure built up it was painful to even walk.

You know that "going into labor" stitch you get in your side from the massive air bubble trapped inside your body. I would have farted but I was scared shitless that flames would shoot out my ass from the intense heat blowing up from the pavement. Who needs that embarrassment?

I held it in til we made it safely inside.

We made it home, put the stupid wagon in the stupid garage and went back inside to not return to the outside unless deemed absolutely necessary.

Hours later and my tummy is still upset. Do they make gas masks in a small? I'll need two if it doesn't ease up by morning. Tomorrow, I WILL NOT be sticking my head outside. We will all remain in this house if it kills us, or we kill each other. Which is likely.

Hotter'n Hades

Ok, so I'm back and I have tons of stuff to say but right now I really don't know where to start. I'm pretty sure the heat is what's causing my brain to shut down right now. I couldn't fall asleep last night for at least thirty minutes after I laid down and there were so many things that popped in my head that I wanted to write about but naturally most of that is lost now. I suffer from a severe bout of CRS on a daily basis.

I went out today to get some pencils for A1, who starts school on Thursday, and even though I managed to get a front row parking spot, I was certain I was going to spontaneously burst into flames (!!!) before I made it inside. It's that freaking hot here!! Sad thing is, there is no end in sight.

Since it's waaaay too hot to sit here right now and full out blog, I'm just going to make a list of the things I'm planning on filling you in on that's been going on around here. I promise to touch on each and every point....soon.

Glamour and PMS (Am I weird or do you do this too....)
I's (Is this a real word or do I just sound stupid?)
Tippie Toes
Weight Woes (Yep, I'm still there.)
Neighborinos (Scratch what I wrote about them before. I think know I actually scared one of the little ones!)
Stuff and Save and Free Panties (I live for this!)
Big Brother 8 (OH.MY.GAWD!)
Gardening 101 (Live and learn on this one. Farmer Brown we ain't.)
Potty Training R US (AKA - Mommy Hell)
Cher (I'm obsessed.)
A-Geeeinnn (you'll get it once I 'splain it)
Cooter Issues (Just kidding. I just enjoyed imagining the look of disdain on my dad's face when he came to that one.)
Preschool Jitters (A2's not a little baby anymore.)
Talkie Talkie (How I almost killed my husband.)
Farting is Funny (You know it is. I have fart stories W00T!)
To Co-sleep or not to Co-sleep (Are my eyes still bloodshot?)

So that's all I can think of right off the top of my sweltering hot head, there's more but I'm too lazy to even add it to the list right now. With A1 going back to school and A2 going to preschool soon, I'll have tons of time to blog about what I want without having to worry about whether or not the boys are fighting, if A2 has crammed more junk into the toilet and there will not be anyone hovering over me asking me about a gajillion times, "what are you doing? what are you about to do? want to play a game? want to cook for me? want to do (anything else besides what you are doing now)?"

Later Dudes, I'm off to stuff ice cubes between my boobs and butt crack to see if that eases up on some of this damn heat!

Oh yeah, Happy Birthday Papa. Love you!

Thursday, August 2, 2007


I haven't quit blogging I've been a combination of things, lazy being the frontrunner. I've been enjoying the last couple of weeks before A1 has to go back to school, chasing after A2 and laughing at his new catch phrases (I'll explain more later) and reading Harry Potter (yep, I'm a closet Pottergeek).

I had to wait for A1 to finish the book and most importantly be able to grab time to sit quietly to read and absorb what is going on and not just skim. That's next to impossible in this house. I'm almost finished with it and plan to blog your brains out as soon as I'm done!

Hang in there and don't give up on me. I'll return as soon as possible! I really want to finish it by tonight or tomorrow.