Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Did I Mention?

I know I mentioned this in my first post this morning but holy hell it's hot here! I don't know what I was thinking, but A2 had been couped up in the house all day with his brother and I felt sorry for him since he LOVES to go outside.

Hubs wasn't home yet at around 6 so I decided to take him outside for just a few minutes. I could see that there was a breeze outside and I figured it had cooled off at least a little bit and it wouldn't hurt to go out for at least 20 minutes or so.

Wrong. Oh, so wrong.

We got the wagon out of the garage and A1 and I were just going to pull him up to the cul-de-sac, which is about two (!!) houses down from where we are, and back just so he could enjoy being outside for a few minutes.

Oh.My.Lord. I thought I was going to pass-the-hell-out before I made it back to our driveway. If I weren't the good mom that I am, I would have ditched the wagon and called "every man for themselves" on getting back to the house.

The worst part of my brilliant idea was that the whole time we were outside my tummy was full of gas from the bowl of beans and cornbread that I had eaten earlier for lunch and I had so much pressure built up it was painful to even walk.

You know that "going into labor" stitch you get in your side from the massive air bubble trapped inside your body. I would have farted but I was scared shitless that flames would shoot out my ass from the intense heat blowing up from the pavement. Who needs that embarrassment?

I held it in til we made it safely inside.

We made it home, put the stupid wagon in the stupid garage and went back inside to not return to the outside unless deemed absolutely necessary.

Hours later and my tummy is still upset. Do they make gas masks in a small? I'll need two if it doesn't ease up by morning. Tomorrow, I WILL NOT be sticking my head outside. We will all remain in this house if it kills us, or we kill each other. Which is likely.


mlb said...

Come on down a little farther south and see how hot it is, I felt sorry for my dog and even let her in. The dog is a big time outdoor dog but I thought she was going to pant to death!!!
I can't wait to hear all the things you are going to blog....School starts soon and I can't wait!!!!