Friday, August 10, 2007

And it's about Glamour!

Woo hoo, it's my 100th post! I should have passed this mark a long time ago, especially since I started working on this particular post last Friday and I'm just now getting it up. But if you've been following along you already know that I have a tendency to lean towards the lazy side and for me to reach 100 at this point is AwEsOmE. Go me, oh yeah, it's my birthday. Oh sorry. That was suppose to just stay in my head.

School started back yesterday last Thursday and A1 looked totally cute in his new duds and wearing his messenger bag across his chest. He's waaay too cool for a regular backpack these days. I've decided not to go into a lot of specifics regarding him from now on because since he's a teenager now I want to give him a little bit of respect and privacy. We've all been there and had my parents told daily stories about my awkward teenage screwups years for all the world (or just the two of you that read me) to see I would have been mortified. Besides A2 provides plenty of fodder these days for me to dish out. Not to mention the goofy stuff my husband and I do on a daily basis.

So anyway I'm so happy that my 100th is going to be about one of my most favorite things in the Glamour magazine! I don't remember how I got started reading it because it was at least 13 or maybe even 14 years ago when I started. Can't remember if it was before or right after A1 was born. Nonetheless, I started reading it and was hooked. Something about it drew me in and to this day has yet to let me go.

I have to admit that when I first started reading it I mostly read for the sex articles and to make fun of the ridiculous outfits they featured in the back. Who in the hell wore that stuff? No one I knew, then again I'm from the south and we're content to wear our jeans and t-shirts any day to anything. If you were looking for Carrie Bradshaw in my neck of the woods you'd be hard pressed to find her and her funky outfits.

As the years have gone by I've found myself reading it for more than the sex articles because come on, how many years in a row can they claim to have discovered 57 new sexual positions to bring out the tigress in every woman??!!

In all the years I have subscribed to Glamour they have only missed sending me one issue. That's pretty frikkin' awesome. But then again I'm probably on their "red alert list to make sure come hell or high water this crazy bitch gets her issue." When I missed my one issue I must admit I went ape shit and called and pretty much demanded it to be overnighted to me.

Did I mention I live for this magazines arrival every month?

My Glamour is like an old friend and I look forward to catching up with it all the time. Another reason I get excited when it comes is somehow over the years it has managed to arrive in the mailbox when I am in the throws of PMS and I'm pissed at the world. Something about seeing that plastic covered magazine makes a crabby girl yell "squeeee" washes away all the bitchiness. If only for a little while.

I have a ritual that I go through as soon as I get it. I first determine whether or not it's a good month. By that I mean if it's a thick magazine it's a good month, if it's skinny then it's not so great. Size indeed matters! I rip the plastic off grab it by the spine and shake out the 45 or so renewal inserts that bug the piss out of me. Toss all of that in the trash and tell the guys to not bother me for at least a good hour or so. That never works but at least I give them fair warning that I WILL be ignoring them for at least that long.

I always start by reading the back page first. It's my favorite thing in the whole magazine. That's the do's & don'ts page. I'm convinced I'll see someone I know on that page someday. Possibly even myself - I can't have this hair my entire life and not get it snapped as a don't at least once!

From the back page I flip to the page before that to the glamour list page. It's usually something silly like June's "8 bad reasons to marry the guy" but it's still funny to read. From there I go one more page backwards to the horoscopes or as they call them glamourscopes. Every month the same thing, I'll find true love and the perfect outfit to wear to the perfect party. Yadda yadda. After that I flip it over and start at the beginning.

I don't read every single article in the first sitting. I usually flip through the entire thing and read what seems interesting at the time. I use to look forward to Jake: A Man's Opinion but original Jake got married and they now have a new one and I don't love him that much. I'm hoping he'll grow on me. Right now he's trying too hard to be funny and it feels more like I'm on a bad date with him myself rather than reading an interesting article.

I do have one complaint about Glamour and it's the fact that they promote all this healthy you stuff and want you to eat right and exercise, yet they still have advertisements for cigarettes on at least one full page. Go figure.

Once I've given it the initial read through I put it down and save the rest for later. I use to save them all and never throw any of them away. Sadly I had to let them go when we made our last move. I could have kept them if I wanted but decided I'd send them to the big recycling bin in the sky, or the one down the road that pays by the pound for stuff you turn in. Do you know how much that many years of Glamour magazines weigh? Enough for a trip to Gap AND Old Navy! W00T!!

We get other magazines here and I usually flip through them all but only halfheartedly. I mostly just flip through and look at the pictures. Somehow the hubs got on a mailing list that sent him about five different magazines, Maxim, Stuff, FHM, and a couple others for about eight years for $2. Naturally he was all over that.

Thankfully we are almost at the end of some of those magazines because all they do is collect in the bathroom and I'm tired of looking at them. I'm betting all of them together would equal a nice shopping spree to Aeropostale or Gymboree for the boys. (Note to self: Find a box to stuff all of hubs magazines in a little at a time so he doesn't miss them.)

So there it is, my 100th post and while I'm sure it was a little boring it was about something I really enjoy and gives me something to look forward to every month. That $12 a year is the best thing hubby could do for me (and himself since it gives him a little relief when I'm at my PMS worst).

Thanks Conde Nast!

What magazines can you not live without?


mlb said...

Too weird, I love Glamour. I used to read for the sex, now I read on how to try to become glamourous overnight!!! But I really have to admit I am a newspaper kinda girl. Don't know why, I guess I just like to see if there is anyone in there I know. Since I live away from home I can kind of keep up with what is happening up there....Have a good week

Dino said...

I still read the newspaper from home too! I mostly read what's online though. I'm so nosey I like to read the property transfers and the marriage licenses first then i go to the obits to see if I know anybody that passed away.

mlb said...

Are we sad or just nosey????? I do the same thing, I am happy to know I am not the only one. I even look at the school websites from timme to that is sad, lol.