Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Suckers and Snickers and Candy Corn, Oh My!

How sad is it that we have all already eaten enough candy to make every dentist within a 50 mile radius cringe and we haven't even put on our costumes yet to go trick or treating!!??!!

Can somebody pass the Pepto, I'm pretty sure we're going to be needing it later.

Thing is, I'm glad we waited until TODAY to purchase our give away candy, otherwise I'd we waddling down the street instead of just panting loudly while trying to keep up.

That's all.

Going to go score some loot now.

Happy Halloween to all of you out there. Have fun and be safe.

I promise to update again berry berry soon.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Glad it's you and not me....yet

I woke up this morning to an awful sound. I racked my brain trying to figure out just what in the hell it could be. There was popping and creaking, it was horrible. It took me a couple of minutes but I finally figured it out. It was the sound of my old ass sister getting up out of bed two states over!

It has to be hard being that old and dealing with all that noise from your bones and joints popping like that. You should really get that checked out. Don't you fret though big, OLDER sister, I'll bring you some Centrum and Ben Gay on Saturday.

Happy Birthday DK!! Hope you have a wonderful day today. Can't wait to see you.

Love from all of us.

Here's what I think we should say to getting old!

Friday, October 12, 2007

Friday Filler Muppets Style

Since playing online trumps running on the treadmill any day, this is what I did while my guys were watching their stupid Sci-fi shows tonight (see previous post). A2 got a kick out of it. He danced and even tried to sing along to a couple of these. Hope you enjoy!

Debbie Harry sings Call Me.

Kermit and Debbie Harry sing The Rainbow Connection.

Debbie Harry sings One Way or Another.

I don't care who you are or what you think....Debbie Harry rocks!
This is back in the day when the kid shows were awesome and not so superfreakingficial like they are now.

Alice Cooper singing Schools Out! Can you imagine how this would go over today?! Um, It wouldn't.

Elton John singing Crocodile Rock.

Elton when Elton was cool! A2 loved this one, he was singing along with the crocodiles. Too cute for words!

Kenny Rogers singing The Gambler.

I'd say this would get on a kids show today sometime between hell freezing over and never!

Leo Sayer - you'll know him when you hear it.

Dancin' woo! This one rocks!! A2 loved the bird with the googly eyes.

Just TRY to get this one out of your head. Won't happen anytime soon.

A2 even imitated this one. He'd lower his voice, get in his daddy's face and say "nah nah."

You have to admit this was one jammin' ass kids show. I love it!

Sci-Fi Suckday

Every Friday night beginning at 9:02, my husband and A1 are sucked into another realm from which NOTHING, that should be a nothing in bold with lots of these (!!!!!) can pry their attention away from. I'm talking about Sci-fi Friday and it drives me up the friggin' wall. Yeah, yeah, I watch a few crap shows, most of which do not have a followable plot or frankly any value whatsoever, but I would rather bash my skull in with a shovel than to sit through an entire episode of Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis or Battlestar Gallactica.

What is it with these shows?! I'll admit I get involved when I'm watching television. Like the other night when I was watching the best of The Girls Next Door I actually ignored a phone call because I was too lazy to pause the show and walk over to the mantle to see who was calling. Plus, I was enjoying watching the slip and slide antics of the girls. But, most of the time, I can still function and at least acknowledge that the world is still spinning around me whenever I'm watching TV. I'm just that talented. I can even surf the net while watching TV and still manage to pay attention to the other people in the room with me.

Hubby and A1, not so much. As soon as 9:02 (don't know what the :02 is all about) hits they are pretty much in a catatonic trance. I kid you not. I could probably walk around with my boobs hanging out while blowing a trombone out my ass and NOBODY.WOULD.NOTICE. Well, maybe the neighbors but that's a different story.

I pray nothing ever happens to me and poor A2 is left alone with these two on a Friday night because he'd be shit out of luck if he needed something like a clean diaper or say CPR. It would just have to wait. I'm not so sure if he'd get the evil stink eye that I get every time I breathe louder than normal during the show, let alone try to say something or walk in front of the damn TV screen. You'd think I had just kicked them in the balls or something if I try to get one of their attention.

Sometimes I'd like to do just that.

It's not like we don't have a friggin' DVR and it's taping simultaneously while they watch the show or that the same exact show comes on again just two hours later.

Maybe I'm just jealous because I NEVER EVER NEVER EVER get to watch a show when it actually comes on. If I want to see something I have to DVR it and watch it later. More often than not I have to watch it the next day or even in some cases two or three days later. Most of the time it takes me about an hour and a half to watch an hour show and that's with fast forwarding through all of the commercials. There is always somebody wanting something or wanting to tell me something life altering or really just stupid, plus I usually have to get up and go pee about 10 times or put clothes either in the dryer or get them out of it or answer the phone because it's pretty much a written law that when I'm getting into something good that fucker will ring like there's no tomorrow.

You know, it wouldn't be so bad if I could go in the other room and maybe watch something else but that's pretty much imfrigginpossible. It's not enough that they take the big television over in the great room but they have to crank that damn thing out so loud that I'm sure the neighbors can follow along word for word. No matter where I go in this 3400 square foot house I couldn't hear myself fart (and I have been known to rattle a few walls) let alone anything else on another television. They literally drown out all other noise in the house.

There is no winning.

Right now it's only the one show, Stargate Atlantis because Stargate SG-1 was cancelled last season after about 10 years. But, starting in November, Battlestar Gallactica will be back on as well. That means two whole hours. Yippee fucking skippie!

I'm thinking about taking up knitting or crochet. I'm wondering if a little knit one, purl two will help get me through the pain of having to make it through these Friday nights. On the other hand, maybe it's not such a good idea for me to have such pointy objects in my hands....somebodies eyeballs just might get jabbed out for giving me those damn dirty looks.

I ain't joking.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Page and Other Updates

I've been wanting to change my page for a while now but until last night I hadn't been able to find the design that fits me. This one does!

It only took me for!freaking!ever! to figure out how in the crap to make everything all come over that I had on my other page. I sat here for literally hours before it finally dawned on me what I needed to do. I even sent out emails asking for help. I'm pretty sure the people I sent the email to are currently changing their pants from having laughed at me so hard they peed themselves. Because once I figured it out it was so so simple to do. A1 or even A2 probably could have figured it out in half the time it took me.

Speaking of A2, he and his brother, A1, are both on fall break this week. We were going to go to the park today but had to do some birthday shopping for the MIL. Big fun there. *rolling eyes copiously* Oh well, gives us something to do tomorrow.

Can I just take a minute and give a big ol hallelujah to the fact that it is finally feeling like October around here and I am really looking forward to going to the park to enjoy it! Let me ask this though, where else but here is it possible to need both your air conditioner and your heater in the same 24 hour span?! What is up with that?

I look forward to October every year. I really do hate to see the summer go because I would rather sweat to death than be bitter cold but I love it when the breeze outside cools things down just enough to where you need to wear jeans and a t-shirt or shorts and a light long sleeve shirt. It's the in between that I just love. I look forward to turning off our a/c and opening up the windows and letting the fresh air in the house until it gets too cold to bear at night. But let me just say this, the high here was 93 on Monday and over the weekend I went outside and came back in with visible boob sweat because it was so hot. There is NO REASON for boob sweat in freaking October!! None!

Another reason I (heart) October, I'm a huge Atlanta Braves fan and (use to) look forward to the World Series at the end of the month. I use to follow them religiously. Now not so much. Can you believe we lived in Atlanta for a couple of years and NEVER went to see a game! I went to more games when I didn't even live close. My husband isn't the typical sports nut so I could never really talk him into going. He's just not that into it although I'd rather he be into sports than that sci-fi bullshit I'm forced to endure on a regular basis. He and A1 are killing me with all that Battlestar Gallactica and Stargate crap that's back in the fall TV lineup. Don't they realize The Bachelor and The Real World are much better shows to watch?! Like, seriously!

One more tidbit that makes October my favorite month of all, both of my children were born in July. You do the math. There's just something about October!

Let's see what else is new with me. Oh, membah when I said I had some product reviews to do? Well here's a short one for you. Somebody told me about this lotion from Aveeno called Positively Smooth. Supposedly you use it after every time you shave your legs. Here's their claim:

With an exclusive combination of natural soy extracts, skin-silkening soy, and skin conditioners, this moisturizing lotion makes hair look and feel softer, finer and less noticeable within 4 weeks, so you can shave less often while visibly improving skin tone and texture. This breakthrough formula contains rich emollients and vitamins to moisturize for a full 24 hours to improve the look and feel of skin, leaving it softer and smoother.

After using it for almost three months, here's my opinion of their claim:


For almost $10 for an 8 or 10 ounce bottle of lotion I was expecting to see at least a little difference. I see nothing. They claim you can even use it on your bikini area for noticeably less stubble. Again, bullshit. When I first got it I tried to shave at least every other day and put this lotion on right after. I'll admit the smell was pleasant enough, but not something I would want to put on my whole body and I have to say it wasn't greasy at all but it just didn't do anything for me. I would have gotten about the same results if I had been slathering myself with butter. And probably more attention from the husband. And lets not even go there with their claim to improve skin tone and texture.

Don't waste your money on this one. Use that $10 to buy a couple of lotions you like from Bath and Body Works. At least you can use them all over your body and smell pretty. I find that smelling pretty more often than not will distract my husband away from the fact that my legs could rip the hide off of him if he got too close. Especially when I can find the lotions that make me smell like vanilla or oranges. He's a sucker for sweets! I could seriously go in the kitchen and rub cookie dough on me and get more of a rise out of him than any expensive perfume or lotion out there on the market.

Enough about that though, I've got to go work out now even though it's after midnight. Hubby left us to go fix a water heater at his brothers in the next state over so we can stay up as long as we want and sleep as late as we possibly can in the morning. I think I'll pop the boys some popcorn and stick in the Jungle Book downstairs to keep them occupied while I'm sweating my hiney off to some Janet Jackson. I figure some Nasty Boys and What Have You Done For Me Lately will get me moving pretty good tonight.

By the way, I weighed myself this morning and it said 143 again. I don't get it. I was happy to see it but I just don't get it. How can I fluctuate that much in just a matter of days? I'll be too afraid to weigh myself in the morning for fear the damn thing will read 155 or some shit like that.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

I Am NOT The Biggest Loser

Good thing I do actually work out more than I update my blog. Sad thing about working out though is that it seems like I am making zero progress now.

Why in the hell is it so damn difficult to lose a few pounds and then just keep that shit off? Maybe it is easy for everybody else but it sure as crap isn't easy for me. It wasn't two weeks ago that I was yippee damn skippie that I was down to 143. I had convinced myself that by the end of the week I was GOING to see 140. That freaking day never came. I saw 141 for like one minute but as of yesterday my lard ass was back up to 147. It's almost like it all went to shit right after I did my little happy dance for seeing that 141. I guess I got too sure of myself.

147 though!! Can you believe it?! I've tried to keep on somewhat of a regular work out schedule but once I skip that first day it easily turns into two days without working out and then that two turns into three and that three turns into four oatmeal cream pies stuffed into my mouth because I.Have.NO.Self.Control!

I saw the 147 last night and immediately put my running shoes on and hit the treadmill at 10. I was so disgusted that today I just looked at the scale and didn't step on it at all. I refuse. I don't need the let down, I feel shitty enough as it is.

Why can't I just lose the weight and maintain it? My brother in law is dropping weight like a mad man and I'm jealous. He looks great and I want those kind of results. My counterpart in this weight loss bet is down seven pounds and at this rate it looks like I'm going to be the one forking out for the iTunes card.

There has got to be a secret to it. If you know what it is can you whisper it to me? I'm very discouraged right now. The only thing that is keeping my spirits up is that I tried on those white jeans today and believe it or not they actually buttoned. I was sure they wouldn't even slide up my honkin' thighs.

The Biggest Loser comes on tonight and I will be firmly planted on the couch watching every single minute of it. I draw a lot of encouragement from that show. The results they are getting is inspiring. They aren't dropping massive amounts of weight each week but they stick to it no matter what. Some are only losing about one or two pounds a week after working out like crazy so that gives me hope. I've yet to see any of them stay at the same weight or (gasp) gain pounds like me, but they have trainers around to slap those wretched oatmeal cream pies out of their hands and I don't.

I look forward to seeing the person's transformation that got kicked off the most. Most of them look awesome and I try to tell myself that if they can do it so can I.

Here's to trying to refocus on my goal to reach 125 and to blog on a more regular basis.