Friday, October 12, 2007

Sci-Fi Suckday

Every Friday night beginning at 9:02, my husband and A1 are sucked into another realm from which NOTHING, that should be a nothing in bold with lots of these (!!!!!) can pry their attention away from. I'm talking about Sci-fi Friday and it drives me up the friggin' wall. Yeah, yeah, I watch a few crap shows, most of which do not have a followable plot or frankly any value whatsoever, but I would rather bash my skull in with a shovel than to sit through an entire episode of Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis or Battlestar Gallactica.

What is it with these shows?! I'll admit I get involved when I'm watching television. Like the other night when I was watching the best of The Girls Next Door I actually ignored a phone call because I was too lazy to pause the show and walk over to the mantle to see who was calling. Plus, I was enjoying watching the slip and slide antics of the girls. But, most of the time, I can still function and at least acknowledge that the world is still spinning around me whenever I'm watching TV. I'm just that talented. I can even surf the net while watching TV and still manage to pay attention to the other people in the room with me.

Hubby and A1, not so much. As soon as 9:02 (don't know what the :02 is all about) hits they are pretty much in a catatonic trance. I kid you not. I could probably walk around with my boobs hanging out while blowing a trombone out my ass and NOBODY.WOULD.NOTICE. Well, maybe the neighbors but that's a different story.

I pray nothing ever happens to me and poor A2 is left alone with these two on a Friday night because he'd be shit out of luck if he needed something like a clean diaper or say CPR. It would just have to wait. I'm not so sure if he'd get the evil stink eye that I get every time I breathe louder than normal during the show, let alone try to say something or walk in front of the damn TV screen. You'd think I had just kicked them in the balls or something if I try to get one of their attention.

Sometimes I'd like to do just that.

It's not like we don't have a friggin' DVR and it's taping simultaneously while they watch the show or that the same exact show comes on again just two hours later.

Maybe I'm just jealous because I NEVER EVER NEVER EVER get to watch a show when it actually comes on. If I want to see something I have to DVR it and watch it later. More often than not I have to watch it the next day or even in some cases two or three days later. Most of the time it takes me about an hour and a half to watch an hour show and that's with fast forwarding through all of the commercials. There is always somebody wanting something or wanting to tell me something life altering or really just stupid, plus I usually have to get up and go pee about 10 times or put clothes either in the dryer or get them out of it or answer the phone because it's pretty much a written law that when I'm getting into something good that fucker will ring like there's no tomorrow.

You know, it wouldn't be so bad if I could go in the other room and maybe watch something else but that's pretty much imfrigginpossible. It's not enough that they take the big television over in the great room but they have to crank that damn thing out so loud that I'm sure the neighbors can follow along word for word. No matter where I go in this 3400 square foot house I couldn't hear myself fart (and I have been known to rattle a few walls) let alone anything else on another television. They literally drown out all other noise in the house.

There is no winning.

Right now it's only the one show, Stargate Atlantis because Stargate SG-1 was cancelled last season after about 10 years. But, starting in November, Battlestar Gallactica will be back on as well. That means two whole hours. Yippee fucking skippie!

I'm thinking about taking up knitting or crochet. I'm wondering if a little knit one, purl two will help get me through the pain of having to make it through these Friday nights. On the other hand, maybe it's not such a good idea for me to have such pointy objects in my hands....somebodies eyeballs just might get jabbed out for giving me those damn dirty looks.

I ain't joking.