Tuesday, October 9, 2007

I Am NOT The Biggest Loser

Good thing I do actually work out more than I update my blog. Sad thing about working out though is that it seems like I am making zero progress now.

Why in the hell is it so damn difficult to lose a few pounds and then just keep that shit off? Maybe it is easy for everybody else but it sure as crap isn't easy for me. It wasn't two weeks ago that I was yippee damn skippie that I was down to 143. I had convinced myself that by the end of the week I was GOING to see 140. That freaking day never came. I saw 141 for like one minute but as of yesterday my lard ass was back up to 147. It's almost like it all went to shit right after I did my little happy dance for seeing that 141. I guess I got too sure of myself.

147 though!! Can you believe it?! I've tried to keep on somewhat of a regular work out schedule but once I skip that first day it easily turns into two days without working out and then that two turns into three and that three turns into four oatmeal cream pies stuffed into my mouth because I.Have.NO.Self.Control!

I saw the 147 last night and immediately put my running shoes on and hit the treadmill at 10. I was so disgusted that today I just looked at the scale and didn't step on it at all. I refuse. I don't need the let down, I feel shitty enough as it is.

Why can't I just lose the weight and maintain it? My brother in law is dropping weight like a mad man and I'm jealous. He looks great and I want those kind of results. My counterpart in this weight loss bet is down seven pounds and at this rate it looks like I'm going to be the one forking out for the iTunes card.

There has got to be a secret to it. If you know what it is can you whisper it to me? I'm very discouraged right now. The only thing that is keeping my spirits up is that I tried on those white jeans today and believe it or not they actually buttoned. I was sure they wouldn't even slide up my honkin' thighs.

The Biggest Loser comes on tonight and I will be firmly planted on the couch watching every single minute of it. I draw a lot of encouragement from that show. The results they are getting is inspiring. They aren't dropping massive amounts of weight each week but they stick to it no matter what. Some are only losing about one or two pounds a week after working out like crazy so that gives me hope. I've yet to see any of them stay at the same weight or (gasp) gain pounds like me, but they have trainers around to slap those wretched oatmeal cream pies out of their hands and I don't.

I look forward to seeing the person's transformation that got kicked off the most. Most of them look awesome and I try to tell myself that if they can do it so can I.

Here's to trying to refocus on my goal to reach 125 and to blog on a more regular basis.