Tuesday, May 27, 2008

In Which I Vent and Say Nothing Funny

You'd think that with NOTHING good on television that I would have more time than ever to sit down and post but guess what....I haven't touched my computer for three whole days until this morning. I know, how is that even possible?! I've got a ton of things to do and what seems like no time to do any of it. I haven't been home since Saturday morning and even though we were gone all weekend my house still manages to look like shit. I'm wondering if the cat threw a party while we were gone because I know I didn't leave it this dirty!!

The bad thing about not living near any family is that when a holiday weekend comes up or really just about every other weekend comes along we have to pretty much drop all that is going on, pack up, and hit the road to go visit. We love to do it but good grief it's good to get back home when it's all said and done with! Dorothy was on to something what that whole, "no place like home" chant.

The thing that sucks the most is that we never get anything accomplished over the weekend and afterwards I got to unpack for everyone and put everything up as well as the other stuff that needs to get done that was left. It usually takes me a day and a half to catch up to where things are at the barely manageable level as opposed to the out of damn control level things are at right now!

This is going to be a short week for so many reasons. One, today feels like Monday but it's Tuesday already and two, not only do I have to unpack from this past weekend I now have to repack because we are taking a long trip to the other freaking side of creation for an interview for the husband. We are leaving Thursday afternoon sometime after we watch A1's *sigh* 8th grade graduation. We'll be gone until sometime Saturday because we're going to spend the rest of the day on Friday and that night to kind of scope out the area (read: find the essentials like Wal-Mart, Target, and Old Navy 'cause I won't go if they don't have those!).

It wouldn't be all that bad to move but it's just when we seem to get settled into somewhere and start to get comfortable in an area he goes and puts his name in the hat for somewhere else. I get that he's doing it for the betterment (is that even a word?) of the family but hell's freaking bells moving sucks donkey balls! Literally, and I'm not looking forward to it in the least bit.

It's bad enough we already live one state over from family but now he's wanting to move us an entire work day's drive away and I'm not looking forward to it at all. There will be no more "quick trips in" to visit the family. It will now be a real fucking ordeal in which we have to either drive in in the middle of the night Friday night to be there on Saturday morning or we yank the kids out of school on a Friday so we can be there that night. I'm sure their schools will love that little nugget of information when we go to register them. That is if I can find somewhere I feel comfortable taking A2 for preschool since it only took him the entire time here to get to where he looked forward to going.

A1 has been bummed out all weekend long because he's afraid that after this Thursday, when he gets out of school, there is a chance he won't get to see his friends ever again if the husband gets picked for this promotion.

I feel a little sorry for him since I have to say he's made the most friends here but I'm thinking that won't be such a bad thing either since I'm almost certain a few of his friends right now aren't the greatest of influences. (Read: he has his own computer and we found stuff that shouldn't be on it because he slipped up and "forgot" to delete the history.) But still, I can understand how he feels because he'll be starting high school this time around and as if that wasn't hard enough of an adjustment, being the new kid in town on top of it all is bound to cause more than a little anxiety.

I guess when it boils down to it I understand that the husband is really chasing his dream. Hell, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be able to sit here and blog all day from time to time or better yet read all of my favorite blogs from the comfy ass groove of my own couch. I'd have to be doing it all from work. FYI: I am not a morning person and I don't even know what I'd want to do if I had to work right now. I haven't had to work for several years because of his job and his choices so what do I really have to complain about?

I'm extremely proud of him for moving up the ladder and if he gets this job he will have topped out at his ultimate goal. How many people can say that and how awesome would that be for all of us? I guess I'm selfish and wish that he could accomplish this goal a little closer to home or better yet right here where we are but I know that that isn't even an option.

I've just got to suck it up and be prepared to pull up stakes and move again if that's the case. If it doesn't happen now it will eventually. I'm guessing the sooner we get it done the better I just cringe thinking about another house full of boxes and no idea where anything is or where I want it to go. I'll bitch and moan about it for a little while but it will all work out in the long run. Besides where we are headed this weekend may be the closest thing that comes up for a long while and if we don't get this one we may be forced to have to go even farther away. See, I can see the bright side to it all. I'm not completely closed minded.

Best thing I can do right now is to just let go and roll with whatever happens. It's not like I can change it so there really isn't any need to be bitching about it. I knew what I was getting into when we hooked up and moved away from home that very first time over 10 years ago. Plus, I've made a lot of different friends from a lot of different places and I'm thankful for every one of them. Some of my better friends live in my computer anyway but who knows maybe my best friend in the world is living 8 whole hours away from me at this very minute. She better love to shop is all I've got to say!!

Let's move on, no pun intended.

Oh, I've been on my pills now for an entire week and so far they haven't caused me any problems what so ever. Got to say I'm pretty happy about that. I can't even tell you about any side effect at all. No headaches, no increase in appetite, no aches, pretty much nothing at all. I've set my cell phone alarm to go off every day at 6 in the afternoon and that's how I've been remembering to take it every day. Keeping my fingers crossed that the longer I take it and the more of it I get into my system that I'll still feel the same way about it and I'll still won't have any side effects.

I've also been taking my vitamin, the One A Day Weight Smart one, and it's not caused me any problems either. I read some reviews on it where people thought it tasted awful or it caused them to feel nauseous. How in the hell can you taste a vitamin? Are they chewing the damn thing, putting it in their mouth and swishing it around in there before they swallow it? I don't get it. Put the damn thing in your mouth and chug it down with something to drink. No tasting necessary. Maybe it's an aftertaste they are getting. I don't taste it one bit.

I made the mistake of taking it before I went to bed the first night and that wasn't smart. The caffeine or whatever ingredient that's inside it kicked in and I couldn't really sleep that well. I now take it after I eat my first meal of the day and I can tell that about an hour later I get a little energy boost. Nothing that makes me bounce off the walls or any other extreme but just enough of a boost that makes me want to get up and maybe do a little something. I'm not positive but I think it also makes me need to go pee a little more than usual too. Maybe that's their weight smart catch, it makes you piss out some water weight. Meh, I don't care. I'll take whatever tiny bit of help I can get in the weight loss department!

I was doing really good on the weight loss thing last week. I actually got on the scale and saw 137.14 for the briefest (again, is that even a word?) of seconds and that felt pretty damn good. I held steady though at 138 for a few days. I was ecstatic to be in the 130's even if it was floating around the bottom end! Bad news though, after spending the entire weekend at home where I ate like a pig I weighed 140.1 just a few minutes ago. I'm going to see that damned 130 if it kills me! I'm crazy enough to even believe I can see 125 and stay between that and 130. That's my hope anyway!!

Good news, I wore a t-shirt the other day that I would never have thought about wearing a few months ago because of all the lumps and bumps and that was pretty awesome. I managed to buy a new bra the other day too that *gasp* actually fits and that in itself cut down on some of that freakish back fat that has kept me from wearing a couple of my shirts.

Who knew that if you bought one that actually fit around you properly that it would cut down on some of that shit!!?? I'm pretty sure the sizes are rigged though. I never would have thought to buy it because it always seemed a bit freakish but I bought a 36 D and it fit. There is no freaking way that my boobs are a D but how else can I say it, it fits.

I've never bought a D in my life. I've always bought a C and when I bought the first one of those it never seemed quite right. I know what you're thinking too, maybe I should have bought a wider band but I tried that and that never helped. I've tried a 38 and I think I even tried a 40 and they were both way too big when it came to wrapping around me. Even in the 36 I have to ratchet them into the last hooks. I don't get it. Bras are a mystery to me. I'm just happy I now own one that will hold both my wonky boobs in without any spillage or ugly back fat imprints. Nothing like looking as if you've got nice sized boobs when you are walking towards AND AWAY FROM someone!

Enough about my boobs. Any Days of our Lives watchers out there? I have watched it since I was 12 years old and for the longest time couldn't go a single day without it. For the past year I've slacked off on watching it because the story lines were dumb as hell (yes, even for a soap opera!) and I would just read about it on one of my all time favorite websites.

Now, the person who use to run the site sold out and it's been taken over by a new crew. I hate it! This is the second time one of my Days sites has just up and either shut down on me or changed. Since I can't stand to read what they write about it I started watching again last week. It's not that bad so I think I'll actually pick it back up. I've actually missed watching it a little but they've got some new people on there that I'm not quite sure about yet. We'll see. It's not like there is anything else on that I can watch. The Real World isn't exactly brain food. I'm just biding my time until the new Big Brother starts. Didn't I mention I like to watch junk that requires little to no thought whatsoever!

Okay, since it's become pretty apparent that this house isn't going to clean itself and the bags aren't going to get unpacked and then get repacked for our "trip" this Thursday afternoon I've got to get up off my lazy ass. Good thing about the end of this week is that the boys and I will be hanging out in the hotel Friday while the husband goes for his interview so I plan on hitting everyone up that I added to my new blog roll. I've got to go back and make sure I didn't miss anybody so if you commented on any of the last three posts and don't see your name on my roll I promise I'll get you there by weeks end and I'll stop in and comment on each one of your sites!

Have a great week guys and maybe next time I'll have something a little more worthwhile to post about besides my boobs and Days of our Lives and no guarantees but I may even reread and edit it to make sure it doesn't have spelling or grammar mistakes in it. This one isn't that lucky. Feel free to point and laugh at all errors you find in this one.

Almost forgot, for some reason this stupid song has been stuck in my head for two whole days. I have to say I was glad to get that damn Buffalo Stance that one of you guys planted on me out but I'm hoping I can pass this one off to one of you and finally get this out of there too!

I love Bowie but holy hell I need a break!!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Almost Wordless Wednesday

......because I'm lazy and I like crap like this!

Are those lines crooked or straight? They are all straight.

Are these "snakes" moving or sitting still? Mine are moving!

Is this a portrait of a man with his hand on his chest or something else? Hmmm, I see both!

Is this an old couple looking lovingly into each other's eyes or a couple of chums hanging out? I see both here too.


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

YaY Me!

One of the joys of motherhood is that you NeVeR get to have to go to the toilet on your own.

Last night after taking A2 to potty (after about a week of relapse on his part!) I decided I needed to go real quick to which he plants his feet firmly in front of me, hands on my knees, and looks up into my eyes to exclaim, "I'z dot chew mom."

There was no danger of me falling back into the water with an embarrassing splash or *gasp* falling off the toilet all together. I had no reason to panic or be frightened! He had me.

When I finished he stepped back, puffed out his little chest, clapped his hands and cheered with a grin plastered from ear to ear, "zYaY MoM. Go Potttay! MoM rokz."

What an accomplishment for me. I had every reason to be proud of myself!

Don't know what I would have done without him there to assist!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Adventures in Birth Control

Yep, if you're a little squeamish you might not want to read this because I'm going there...I'm looking at you daddy and any other male who may have stumbled across this little gem even though I know you're going to read it anyway. Don't say I didn't warn you, sucka!

So, earlier this month I had the pleasure of going for that yearly, strip down to nothing, sit here uncomfortably in this lovely two piece PAPER outfit for at least half and hour, then slide your ass down to the veeerrry edge of this cold hard table while some stranger tries to scrape the back of my tonsils my nether regions using a seriously cold duck like contraption and a Q-tip the length of a football field, all while making odd small talk about the weather, checkup. Big fun. Can't wait til next year to get to do it all over again.

Oh wait, I decided to start taking birth control pills so I get to do it all over again. In two weeks. Yippiefuckin'skippie!

I've never taken birth control pills in my life so why all of a sudden start now?

It's all because of my husband. He has been on this kick lately (read: for the past who freaking knows how long) bitching and complaining about my current form of birth control which is pretty much 100% effective. Seriously, why mess with a good thing?

My current birth control has no risk of weight gain, no messy clean up, no needles, and no sticky patches or pills that I have to worry about forgetting to take. It's pretty much perfect. For me.

He does the same thing night after night and it works like a charm.

He comes in and asks if he's getting lucky and I give him the same answer just about every time.
Side Note: My husband is the LAST person you would want to bring along with you on a trip to Vegas. Just sayin'.

So because all of his bitching and moaning is really getting old and mostly because, let's face it, I'm trying to do better and not be so selfish, I've decided to bite the bullet and switch methods. Gawh!

Plus I love the guy, he takes good care of us, and frankly the dude could use some serious stress relief. I'm afraid his head is going to pop off any minute now from all the built up tension or built up something! And I got to thinkin', switching birth control is a lot easier than getting a divorce or havin' to cut-a-bitch 'cause he's done gone and drug home some floozy.

I like to think ahead.

Luckily you get to tag along for the journey. I take my first pill tonight and hope to document any changes in my body and overall attitude. For all of you experts out there, yes, I know I'm suppose to wait for a Sunday start but Doc said I could do a Monday start if I wanted. So I'll be taking Yaz because it's apparently got a lower dosage and isn't such a shock to the system.

Plus it helps with PMS.

When I told my husband that part I could literally hear the heavens parting his brain and angels singing hallelujah from inside! I'm not joking.

Also, the side effects seems to be a little less harsh than some. I usually don't like to read the side effects when it comes to medicine because I figure a lot of that crap is all in your head and the less I know about the bad shit that may happen the better.

I mean come on, they could print that a possible side effect of eating gummy worms is that you shoot rainbows out your ass and I guarandamntee you there will be at least one stooge somewhere swearing up and down that their ass not only has a rainbow shooting out of it from ingesting gummy worms but also a damn pot of gold at the other end. All just 'cause they read it on the package.

But, since I did read the side effects because this is something I'm going to be tossing down my throat for quite some time and I do believe a lot of it is mental, I choose to believe the one side effect to taking Yaz that I can live with: May Cause Weight Loss.

Can I get a "hell yeah!" on that one. I'm all over that. I've even heard reports that it helps curb breakouts. Hot damn a two-fer!! Nothing says I'm riding the crimson wave like a huge zit on the end of your nose or the tender spot on your chin at 33. Every freakin' month I feel like I'm going through puberty all over again with the damned spotty breakouts (read: that one huge ass zit in the most embarrassing of places.)!

So not only does my husband benefit from this but I'm going to convince myself that I'm going to lose weight and stop getting that one honking zit each month all from taking the pill.

It could happen. Right?

So as of today all is normal or as close to normal as I can get. I bought me some of the One-A-Day Weight Smart vitamins to take along with my pill. I figure taking a vitamin and the other together would help me to remember it better. Or it'll just be two things I've forgotten instead of just one. We'll see.

I'm still working out, although I was too lazy last night and haven't done it since Friday. I'm not seeing any weight come off the scale but I did wear a pair of pants today that were muffin toppers last year. I also bought a pair of shorts today from Old Navy. They were too cute and 1/2 the price that Friend 1 paid for hers two weeks ago! (Note to self: Call her to rub it in.)

They only had the skinny minny sizes up front of course so I had to ask for another size and the guy that was helping asked me what size I needed. I promptly told him that, "if I told you the size I needed, I'd have to kill you" and he gladly led me to another full rack and then skidded away as fast as he could.

What was he thinking? What size do you need? Psssht. That boy's mama didn't raise him right.

Anyway, I took a chance and grabbed an 8 but since they didn't say anything about having any stretch to them I was convinced I would have to take them back after I tried them on at home. But guess what? They fit!! Whoo-hoo!

Currently I'm at 141 and some change. That's last night's weight. I'd go weigh now but I'm lazy and A2 is sprawled out across my legs watching Little Bear and I'm lazy. Yeah, I know I said it twice.

So I'm off to take my pills, run on the treadmill, and update more of my blog roll.

FYI: A comment gets you automatic inclusion to the roll and possibly a new stalker reader!

More to come later in Adventures in Birth Control.

I can hear my reader numbers dwindling as I type.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Roll Call

Let's play a little game. Let's all pretend that my husband picked up my laptop this weekend and within a matter of a few keystrokes or "SOME freak of nature" managed to wipe out ALL of my favorite bookmarks. Even the good porn sites. Just kidding. Only wanted to see if you were paying attention.

I know. I should kill him, right? Those were some awesome por....kidding!! You guys know I get my kicks from The Discovery Channel. I'm sooo soft core!

Anyway, most of my favorite blogs were bookmarked and now I got nothin'. As much as I would love to go through the entire list again I don't think my eyes and children can take it. While I do plan to go back through it, I was hoping to save it for a little later in the summer.

Fending for themselves while mommy reads blogs isn't up there on their list of favorite things to do. Crazy kids. Who do they think they are being all demanding of my time and all!?

For now, lets do this. If you leave a comment on this post right here I will automatically add you to my new blog roll that I'll post on the side and you'll be guaranteed a new visit and more than likely a comment bomb from time to time if not every time I read you. I'm a giver. You guys should know that by now!

If enough of you leave your linkie-poo I may even be forced to give up wasting time over at Dlisted and TMZ!! I'd do that for you guys!

Sound like fun? Thought so. Now hit the comment button and I'll add ya to the permanent roll!

Edited to add: Can somebody please explain just what in the hell happened on the finale of Desperate Housewives??!! Gabby looked like hell and what's up with Susan's man???!!! Come on. I'mma halfta rewatch that ending to make sure I saw that crap right. Surely they aren't going to screw up one of my favorite shows!! Thoughts?

Thursday, May 15, 2008


I've completed the great Spread the Blog Love challenge as of this very minute. I visited each and every link listed right here: and attempted to leave a comment on all 217. There were only a few that I was unable to comment on for some reason or another but not for lack of trying!

I have to say there are some very interesting voices out there. Some made me laugh, some made me cry, and some left me scratching my head and wondering what the hell did I just read!

I encourage you to spend a little time reading each and every one of them. You won't like them all but I swear you will find someone out there that you can relate to and wonder if you are actually kin to them somehow. I did.

By leaving comments on all of these blogs it has drawn some amazing people here to my own site and they have left some great comments. I hope you all come back and share in my antics.

If I take nothing else out of the challenge I can say without a doubt that bloggers are in a league of their own. It's a great way to reach out to others and connect through similar experiences or curiosity of how others make their way though this crazy thing called life.

I just wish I could add each and every one to my sidebar but it's way too long. I'll just have to keep my list handy and go back and visit them all again.

See ya around blog friends!!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Just Wednesday

Every week Wednesday manages to sneak up on me like a bad case of... before I can turn around good and realize what day it is. This Wednesday is no exception. I have been so covered up with stuff to do this week that today is the first day I've had to actually sit down and have a little computer time that has lasted longer than about five minutes. Good thing too because I was starting to feel the DT's setting in.

One major event going on is that A2 is graduating preschool. I'm not sure yet if they are going to do anything special for them or not but it is breaking my heart. Am I overreacting or what??!! He went today and goes again on Monday for his last day.

Anyway, I was sitting here at the computer and browsing through some of his pictures I had on here when the notion hit me that I should try to put together a little video. Woohoo new project to learn and I didn't even have to go to YouTube for directions. (Case you didn't know, I taught myself how to knit right off of YouTube!)

Keep in mind I have NEVER done this before so it may seem is a little rough around the edges, but click on the video I've posted to share in my misery joy that is watching my little guy grow up way too fast right before my eyes. It never gets easier because I've already been through this with A1 and can't even imagine the mess I'm going to be when that one starts high school this fall and then graduates four short years later.

By the way, if you listen closely you can hear me sobbing in the background.

Ok, not really but you should probably try to picture it because I really am.

As far as the list goes, I'm planning on getting back to it either this afternoon or all day tomorrow. I've still got several of you to visit and some of you to revisit because I just love your writing style!

Happy Wednesday guys!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Sherman, set the WABAC machine to 1993!!

As I was cleaning up my funky house this morning it hit me that hey, it's May. Yeah, I know it's like the 9th or something but cut me some slack I've been doing stuff (read: avoiding housework) and more stuff (read: reading over 200 blogs) and the days got away from me!

This is the time of year where every high school senior is counting the days until graduation and figuring out how they can spend as little time as possible at school during the last few weeks/days or at least that's what I was doing 15 years ago this month!

That's right, 15 years ago I graduated from high school and I couldn't wait to walk that line!! Class of '93 rocks! (probably more like needs rockers but oh well)

Let's take a trip down memory lane so hop on in the WABAC (Wayback) Machine and see a few events that happended back in 1993.

March 8: Beavis and Butt-Head debuts on MTV. (Groundbreaking, I know.)

March 13-14: The Great Blizzard of 1993 strikes the eastern U.S., bringing record snowfall and other severe weather all the way from Cuba to Qu├ębec; it is reported to have killed 184.

March 29: The 65th Academy Awards, hosted by Billy Crystal, are held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion in Los Angeles, California, with Unforgiven winning Best Picture.

April 19: A 51-day stand-off at the Branch Davidian compound near Waco, Texas, ends with a fire that kills 76 people, including David Koresh.

April 28: An executive order forces the United States Air Force to allow women to fly war planes.

April 30: The World Wide Web is born at CERN.

April 30: Tennis star Monica Seles is stabbed in the back by an obsessed fan of rival Steffi Graf at a tournament in Hamburg, Germany.

May: The class of 1993 everywhere prepares for one of the biggest moments in their lives....and parties a lot. As a side note: The cast of Beverly Hills 90210 also held their Commencemet this year! How cool is that, to have graduated the same year as **gasp** Dylan McKay!! (I'm immature, sorry.) I know there are some of you out there that named your little boys Dylan so don't get all judgmental on me!

June 20: John Paxson's three-point shot in Game 6 of the NBA Finals helps the Chicago Bulls secure a 99-98 win over the Phoenix Suns, and their third consecutive championship.

June 23: In Manassas, Virginia, Lorena Bobbitt cuts off the penis of her husband John Wayne Bobbitt. (I see you cringing!)

June 27: U.S. President Bill Clinton orders a cruise missile attack on Iraqi intelligence headquarters in the Al-Mansur \ District of Baghdad, in response to the attempted assassination of former U.S. President George H. W. Bush during his visit to Kuwait in mid-April. (Dude, Bill wasn't joking around!)

July 27: Windows NT 3.1, the first version of Microsoft's line of Windows NT operating systems, is released to manufacturing.

August 4: A federal judge sentences Los Angeles Police Department officers Stacey Koon and Laurence Powell to 30 months in prison for violating motorist Rodney King's civil rights.

August 21: NASA loses radio contact with the Mars Observer orbiter 3 days before the spacecraft is scheduled to enter orbit around Mars.

September13: PLO leader Yasser Arafat and Israeli prime minister Yitzhak Rabin shake hands in Washington D.C., after signing a peace accord.

September 13: Late Night with Conan O'Brien premiers on NBC.

October 31: River Phoenix dies at the age of 23 of a drug overdose.

November 17-22: NAFTA pases the legislative houses in the United States, Canada and Mexico.

December 2: STS-61: NASA launches the Space Shuttle Endeavour on a mission to repair an optical flaw in the Hubble Space Telescope.

Other events of note:

  • A 13-year-old Los Angeles boy accuses Michael Jackson of fondling him. Jackson vehemently denies the charge. The two parties reach an out-of-court settlement.

  • Popular movies were: Schindler's List, The Piano, Philadelphia, Six Degrees of Separation, In the Name of the Father
  • Leanza Cornett of Florida was crowned Miss America.
  • Sporting events: Toronto defeated Philadelphia Phillies (4-2) in the World Series;
    Montreal defeated Los Angeles (4-1) to take the Stanley Cup;
    Steffi Graf defeated J. Novotna (7-6 1-6 6-4) and Pete Sampras defeated J. Courier (7-6 7-6 3-6 6-3) at Wimbledon;
    Sea Hero won the Kentucky Derby;
    North Carolina defeated Michigan (77-71) for the NCAA Basketball Championship; and
    Florida St. (12-1-0) was named NCAA Football Champions
  • A few famous deaths included:
    Don Ameche
    Anthony Burgess
    Federico Fellini
    Frank Zappa
    Arthur Ashe
    Dizzy Gillespie
    William Golding
    Audrey Hepburn
    Cesar Chavez
  • Grammy's of note include: Record of the Year: "I Will Always Love You," Whitney Houston Album of the Year: The Bodyguard—Original Soundtrack Album, Whitney Houston
    Song of the Year: “A Whole New World” (Theme From Aladdin)
    Best New Artist: Toni Braxton
    Best Pop Vocal Performance, Male: “If I Ever Lose My Faith in You,” Sting
    Best Pop Vocal Performance, Female: “I Will Always Love You,” Whitney Houston
    Best Rock Vocal, Solo: “I'd Do Anything for Love” (But I Won't Do That), Meat Loaf
    Best Rock Performance By a Duo or Group: “Livin' on the Edge,” Aerosmith
    Best Hard Rock Performance: “Plush,” Stone Temple Pilots
    Best Metal Performance: “I Don't Want to Change the World,” Ozzy Osbourne
    Best Alternative Music Album: Zooropa, U2 (Island)
    Best Rhythm and Blues Song: “That's the Way Love Goes,” Janet JacksonBest Rhythm Best Rap Solo: “Let Me Ride,” Dr. Dre
    Best Rap Performance By a Duo: “Rebirth of Slick” (Cool Like Dat), Digable Planets
    Best Country Song: “Passionate Kisses,”
    Best Country Vocal Performance, Male: “Ain't That Lonely Yet,” Dwight Yoakam
    Best Country Vocal Performance, Female: “Passionate Kisses,” Mary Chapin Carpenter
    Best Country Performance By a Duo: “Hard Workin' Man,” Brooks and Dunn
    Best Country Vocal Collaboration: “Does He Love You,” Reba McEntire and Linda Davis

Hope you enjoyed your trip back in history! I'll leave you with the song I can remember our class playing as a tribute to one another during some of our graduation celebrations.

Congratulations Class of 2008! I hope you can look back on your graduation 15 years from now and be proud of all your accomplishments!

I shudder to think that in 2012 my A1 will be crossing that bridge. Why do they have to grow up so fast??

Seriously??!! Does he even have a clue?

So I didn't get to watch Survivor from last night until this morning and OH. MY. GOODNESS. GRACIOUS!!

Erik is officially the biggest dumbass in the history of reality game show television. I almost feel sorry for him.

That's all I can say.

Thursday, May 8, 2008


This is for everyone who has ever scoffed at a blogger whether it be a mommy blogger or a daddy blogger or just someone looking to connect with a larger community.

I'm looking at you husband dear!

I'm so glad I found this because I actually missed the segment yesterday.

Blog on!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Dear Discovery Channel,

I never lock my front door, every window in my house is unlatched, and I leave a ladder propped up against the back of my house. Could you please send those two smoking hot pieces of eye candy your team of professionals from It Takes a Thief over to my house immediately so that they may rummage through my panty drawer and frisk me during a mock burglary attempt show me the proper way to keep my family safe and out of harms way.

I openly invite your crew to come in and tape this glorious, naughty violation of my personal belongs and body for the sake of safety informational program so that others may learn from my mistakes and pick up some safety tips that may also prevent their homes from being burgled.

Waiting in my room naked, Sincerely,

Seriously, have you seen these guys this show? Oh.My.Goodness.

Side Note: I am still working my way down The List and will let you know when I am finished. I know a few of my overachieving blog buddies have made their way through it but I'm convinced they cheated somehow!! Just kidding guys. Way to go on finishing!! I hope to make it through them all by the end of this week. I've been a lot busier than expected this week but I'm hitting a few of you up a little at a time. Thanks for all the comments. Keep 'em coming!!

The List:

Edited to add: I had a couple people ask how to strike out text and since Blogger wouldn't let me do it without striking out everything I was writing, I'm going to direct you to this page and they will explain it. Hope it works for you!! It's really simple.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Riddle Me This

Why is it that an object, no matter how big or how small, can sit around and NOFREAKINGBODY will even touch it much less notice it, until that is I get sick and tired of looking at the damn thing and decide to pitch it out the door? It could be something big like three broken toasters that will never work a single day again or something small that has been shoved up under the couch way back into the farthest reaches that the dust bunnies have grown over it and you can't even recognize what it is? Shit like that happens here at my house.

Here's my latest outburst along those lines. I was cleaning out the bathtub the other day and decided that since the mesh bag of rubber squirty bullshit bath toys haven't been touched in, oh say, an entire year or better, that their time had come and it was out the door they go. Now usually A2 is right there up under me trying to help clean everything but on this particular day he was off play Thomas the Tank since that's the new obsession around here.

I decided I'd seen enough of them and since the coast was clear I was getting rid of them. Now keep in mind I didn't take them out of the bag. I just unstuck the two little suction cup frogs that was holding it in place and put it in a garbage bag out in the garage. WooHoo! no more bag with mildew infested ducks, crabs or frogs on the back of the tub and mommy has a place to put her head when I take a bath besides hanging it off to the side or up under the bag so that it rests on the top of my skull!


That afternoon the chores were done and A2's begging to take a bath so I relent. Why not? The tub is pristine and because I'm cool like that I left the one cup that he likes to fill up with freezing cold water to douche the giver of the bath at least one good time while their head is turned in there for him to play with. I was hoping the Dad would be the giver but I went ahead and took the hit.

No sooner had that child stepped his nekkid little ass over into the tub did he realize that the bag full of shit bath toys he CAN IN NO WAY POSSIBLE LIVE ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT were no longer hanging in their place. (The same fuckers that he hadn't touched in forever. Have I mentioned that already?)

Let the hysteria ensue.

He started crying wailing at the top of his lungs while stomping both feet in the water, "MAAAAMA WHERE DUCK GO?? WHERE POG GO? I NEEED IT!" Talk about overreacting. I thought he was going to pass the hell out and drown right there on the spot.

Good damn thing I didn't throw them out, or torch them like I had originally planned, and I just put them out in the garage. So I convinced him to chill the fuck out while I went to go get them because "mommy was just going to clean them!" Pretty sure he bought that because he then started screaming, "GOOO GEEETTT I NEEEED IT." He's seriously got a future in acting.

I padded out to the garage, plucked them out of the garbage bag and resisted every urge in my body to swing them around my head at mach speed so that they would all fly out and pelt his nekkid little body one by one for making me haul that shit back in!

You'd a thought that was the worst of it but it wasn't. Now that they were safe and sound back in his clutches he had to fill each one of those little bastards up with water and squirt them. He was loving it and played with them for at least 15 minutes or so solid. Now I wasn't really paying too much attention to that because I was wiping down the mirror in there and doing piddly little things while he played with them in the bubbles.

It wasn't until I squatted down to give him his actual bath that he turned his squirty frog dead at me and blasted me right in the face. Normally it's not that big of a deal. I'm easy so I roll with it, that is after dumping a cup of ice cold water on him, but since this particular freaking frog or any of them for that matter hadn't been played with for SO long they were all filled with this black sludge that smelled and looked like ass.

There I sat. Defeated. Not only did I have to bring those damn things back into my house after tossing them out the door, my once clean bath tub was now covered with tiny black chunks of moldy goop that he had managed to squirt out of each one of those toys but my face and hair had the equivalent of ass sludge all over them.

After I wiped my face off I had to get him out, clean the tub out again, run more water, bathe him again and then jump in the shower myself. After that I had to take each and every one of those toys out of there and dump them in the kitchen sink where they all got a thorough scrubbing and then hung back up on the back of my tub in their stupid little mesh bag.

That little incident happened about three baths ago and I want you to know he hasn't played with them once since that very day!

Have you met my children? I will now refer to them as counterproductive1 and overlydramaticcounterproductiveoftentimesbatshitcrazy2.

Ever thrown something out that nobody had touched in ages only to have them freak out on you because they need it now and can't live without it or is my family just weird?

Almost forgot: Happy Cinco de Mayo! Hope you had fun today! I spent as much time as I could today going through the list of blogs I posted a few days ago leaving comments. I'm slowly working my way down. I want to make sure I actually read what you guys write and try to leave a good comment. I'm loving all the comments from you guys back! Now go out there and be a comment whore like me, you'll see them start rolling back into your own before you know it! I'm seriously feeling the blog love out there! Thanks to everybody who has been here and left a comment. Ya'll come back now, ya hear!

Here's the link to the list in case you're like me and too lazy to look for things! I'm going to try to remember to add it to each new post I add for a little while so that it's easier to get to for everybody.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

It's On Like Donkey Kong!

Heather has challenged me to go down my list of blogs and leave a comment on each and every one of them. What? Doesn't she realize I have some good television I need to be watching or about a zillion other things I could be procrastinating over!! Here it is I thought she actually read my blog!! I'm up for it though. I started this looking for comments and I'll take the lead and be a giver. Just don't tell my husband I'm switching over to the giver team. It's taken me almost 13 years to get him to FINALLY leave me alone and realize I don't like to give...oh wait this doesn't need to go there!!

Moving on to other things. Here's a little bit of an update on my list of things I wanted to accomplish in 60 days. I finished my book and will have a review on it in a bit. I'm now reading this super awesome book called Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult. Let me tell you this one is a page turner. I don't want to put it down but I also don't want to finish it too fast because it's one of those that I will be sad when I'm done with it if that makes any sense. This one is about a school shooting and it is just so well written and gives so many different perspectives like the victims, their parents, friends of the shooter, the shooter himself, and his parents just to name a few. I haven't read something this good in a very long time and I thought the book I just finished was pretty good!

I'm doing really good on my working out! Bet you thought you wouldn't hear that out of Miss Likes To Sit On Her Lazy Ass Eating Cupcakes And Cookies And Pretty Much Anything Junkie While Watching Mindless Television! I actually went to a slide class last Thursday AND again today at the gym! I've been going downstairs and walking/running on the treadmill, using the elliptical and using some 5 lb weights with my arms while doing sit-ups on the big round ball if not every day then there isn't any more than one day between.

I tried to use the Blowflex O'doom once but just wasn't feeling it. I figure if I can just get a cardio routine carved out I could go to that later. I haven't weighed myself at all this week. That makes a big difference. I find that when I weigh myself and the number doesn't say what I think it should or want it to then I get discouraged. I'm gauging my progress by whether or not I can squeeze my booty into a pair of pants I couldn't the week before. That's working out pretty good! I wore a pair of capris today and someone actually told me they looked cute on me. w00t!

Of course I forgot to take pictures of this but I managed to enlist the help of A1 during his spring break to clean out the front landscaping I was griping about. It was over run with weeds and looked pretty much like crap. The typical after winter look. We spent an entire day digging out weeds and cleaning that up. It looks 10x better than it did. I guess I could take a picture of it now but that'll have to wait til the morning. I want to put plastic down and add new mulch but that's another story (read: I'll have to bitch and moan about it for about a month to the hubby before he relents!).

I half assed cleaned the fish tank out downstairs. I swear it was so gross I was running on the treadmill feeling sorry for the guy. I really wanted to take him out and dump it so I could clean it all out but my husband wouldn't fish him out for me. I hate that part because he's so squirmy and it makes me squeal! I decided a little clean up was better than nothing though. The sides were so covered with green muck that you couldn't hardly see in there. I got a scrub brush (read: toilet scrubber because I couldn't find anything else) and cleaned all four sides and his filter.

I didn't clean the rocks and that's why I'm saying it was half assed. They are all supposed to be red but they look more like red and black mixed. You really have to get up close to be able to tell they aren't black rocks and really just mounds of fish poo. Yeah, I'm aware of how disgusting that is. Have you forgotten I'm lazy and I'm waiting out the husband on that one since he's the fish guy?? I guess I can't scratch it completely off my list. Maybe later I'll get around to the rocks. Don't hold your breath on that one though.

I know there are other accomplishments to tell you about but right now I'm pooped, don't feel like going back and rereading the list, and since I came home and ran on the treadmill for 30 minutes AFTER doing my slide class like a dumb ass, I pretty much feel like somebody drop kicked me in the crotchital region from all that sliding back and forth or probably just physical movement in general. (Did, I, overuse, comas, in that, sentence, or what??!!) I can seriously hear my bath tub calling me. Hell, I may just sleep in there.

So consider this a friendly warning from me to you - don't be alarmed in the morning when you hear this primal screaming coming from somewhere off in the distance. It'll just be me trying to get out of bed or seriously the bath tub because I got stuck in'll be before 8 a.m. though since that's another thing I'm doing good on!

I'll proofread this later. I've got a serious hitch in my giddy-up and can't sit here any longer!