Monday, December 31, 2007

Cheers to 2008!!

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup!
And surely I’ll buy mine!
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.

We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand my trusty friend!
And give us a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

New Year Wishes

Friday, December 21, 2007

Til' Next Year

So I didn't get to blog as much as I wanted to over the past couple of months, what can I say?! I just wanted to pop in and wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year.

There is so much I want to share but it will all come after the first of the year. I'm making my resolutions early this year and blogging on a more regular basis is right up there at the top of the list along with dropping those last 12 pounds! I'm pretty sure I've lost upwards of 50 pounds this year (too bad it was the same four or five that I'd lose and then gain back and lose again).

Take care and be safe this holiday season. Remember what the real meaning behind Christmas is supposed to be and don't sweat the small stuff. If you can't be everywhere you want to be when you want to be there just try to make the most of where you are and be thankful for the time you have with loved ones.

See you next year.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Property of Dooce

I totally lifted this from one of the other blogs I read but HAD to post it here. This is too funny and such an accurate reenactment of how things go around here when "we" get sick!

I'm sure some of you out there can relate as well, especially those of you who live with a member of the male persuasion. Make sure you watch some of the other little videos that pop up at the bottom when this one is over. They are hilarious!

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Dear Santa,

I've been a good Mom all year. I've fed, cleaned, and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to build a science project in less than 15 minutes before the bus comes with a handful of staples, Popsicle sticks and a glue gun.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 or so years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing an overly energetic two and a half year old (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the fifth month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking teenager doll that says, "Yes, Mom, you are right" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight, and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's (and husband's) hearing range and can only be heard by the cat. And please don't forget the Playdoh Travel Pack, the ultimate stocking stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble and stick in any carpet making the grandparent's and in-laws' house seem just like mine.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, at least 10 minutes alone to use the potty, or better yet the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. If not that then how about Rice Krispy Treats? One or the other is fine with me.

It would also be helpful if you could coerce my teenage son to help around the house without demanding payment as if he were the boss of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't look so cute sneaking out of the pantry to eat contraband Hershey's Kisses in his pajamas at midnight.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table, but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,


P.S. One more thing.. you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young for a little while longer.

You can compose a letter to Santa here. If you've got the guts to post it then put it in the comments section for all to see.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Who doesn't....

keep things like this here!!??!!

After thinking about it for a minute or two it makes sense to keep my hairspray in the toilet.

It can keep my sanity company.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Quickie for Lunch

OK, since personal hygiene didn't make my list of things keeping me from blogging this week, I decided to hop in the shower before doing a few things around here. Since I always weigh nekkid I jumped on the scale and guess! what! it! said!?!

139.6 OH YEAH!!

Big girl finally broke into the 30's!! Yeeeehaaaww.

Oh, what is up with this?

That's Britney Spears and her weavadocious up do. She actually goes out in public like this. WTF?!

That's all.

Otherwise Engaged

Here's just a few of the things I've been doing besides blogging this week. I'll lay them out in a numbered list so it makes me feel like I've done something of substance this week.

1. Shuttled A1 to and from about a billion school functions ranging from Academic Team meets to Math Team practice. He's finally taken an interest in school functions so what can I say.

2. Went shopping with Friend 1 on what was apparently A2's Worst!Day!Ever!. What was so surprising about it was that he woke up in a chipper enough mood but that all changed once he didn't get the 500 cars he wanted in Kohl's. He screamed and cried and kicked. Yep, it was one of THOSE tantrums in which you walk past the mother and give her one of those stares down your nose and think to yourself, "she needs to beat that child, I'm such a better mother than her and my child eats off the floor."

Sadly that wasn't the worst of it just the first of it, keep reading. We proceeded to go other places in which he was perfectly fine. We even stopped for lunch and he ate a couple of french fries. (That's a major accomplishment in and of itself since he eats NOTHING! Man, am I SuperMom or what!)

After lunch we went to the mall. It was here that the freaking bottom dropped out of the universe and I seriously contemplated leaving A2 in the Santa sled they had sitting in the middle of the mall with a note pinned on him that said, "Free Reindeer Food or Elfin Labor, You Pick!." I'm not sure what triggered it but he threw another fit in the mall that spanned from one end to the other.

By the time we got out to the car I was holding this child by one leg and one arm and he was squirming and screaming, he was red faced and about a gallon of snot was pouring from his nose. It was horrible. I kept my cool though. Funny thing is that it didn't even phase Friend 1, she's got three kids and has been there gone through that. We just kept on talking as we walked out to the car. By the time I put him in his car seat he had naturally calmed down. It wasn't 10 minutes later and he was asleep.

My score of the day though: I bought an Elmo costume from Toys "R" Us that was originally $34.99 that is fleece and has a giggle box inside it for A2 to either wear next year because it's a 3T-4T or to just roll around in right now for only $3.50. That's all I bought all day. Hubby was pretty proud.

3. Spent four hours and 44 minutes solving all of the mysteries in my new Mystery Case Files game that I am totally addicted to right now. I got it over the weekend and it is awesome. It's a scavenger hunt game in which you have only so long to find all of the clues in these different rooms that have about a trillion little things sitting around in them. Once you find all of the clues you then have to rearrange a puzzle to see who the culprit is.

Here's a picture of one of the rooms. Go ahead, try to find the stuff on the list. Beware, you could become addicted just by looking at it. If so it's at Wal-Mart in the computer game section and it's only $9. Plus all your friends can load it on their computer since you don't have to have the disk to play the game once it's loaded.

Another reason I played it so long (no, not all at once) is that Hubby played it too and it took him a lot longer to finish it and I just HAD to beat his time. I smoked his butt by about three hours. Go me!

4. I did a little knitting. And by little I mean I knitted one row one night and about a third of a row last night. It's going to be a LONG time before this blanket keeps anybody nice and cozy. I'm getting better though. I managed to turn the light out last night since Hubby was trying to go to sleep and just knit by the light of the television because A2 wanted to watch one episode of Spongebob before he fell asleep.

5. Fought off one of the nastiest headache and cramp attacks I've had in a few months. I'm pretty sure the lining of my stomach is a lot thinner now after swallowing as many Tylenol as I've had to take this week just to function at the minimal level possible (read: breathing and changing channels on the television). I finally shook it yesterday afternoon. This cycle has kicked my butt! I was so wiped out Tuesday night that I fell asleep curled up on just one cushion of our couch at about 8 and didn't move from that spot until about 6 the next morning. I slept in my jeans and hoodie and socks and it didn't phase me one bit. Normally I can't stand to sleep in my socks and let's face it, sleeping in jeans doesn't do wonders for the girly parts.

6. Signed up to participate in a Meal Ministry on November 29th. It's based on the Super Suppers concept but ran by a couple of people out of the local church here. Since my husband is forever giving me grief for making our usual pizza, chili and spaghetti staples I decided to give this a try. They do it on a little bit smaller scale than Super Suppers but the portions are still pretty large from what I hear. You can choose from seven meals and it's $65 for five or $85 for all seven. The menu for this session is:

Burgundy Beef Tips

Italian Mozzarella Meatloaf

Cranberry Pork Roast

Sunday Roast Pork Chops

Slow Cooker Kansas City Chicken

Italian Chicken

Garlic Lemon Chicken

In other words, it's stuff I would have NEVER cooked in my life but now we get a chance to try it to see if we like it. I hope it works out and there aren't that many extras cooked with them since my guys and I aren't very big on the vegetables. I'll keep you posted on how it goes. I'm really looking forward to it.

7. Weighing myself every single day wishing for a different number to pop up on the scale even though I haven't worked out since last Thursday but have really been trying to watch what I eat and not drink anything other than Diet drinks but not getting the results I want but still happy it says 140.8 because I know I'm carrying around a lot of extra bloat this week!! *whew*

8. Searching the entire contents of my house for this one car for A2 since he only has 28! others to play with but we can't find his favorite! one out of the bunch. We created a monster from the moment we introduced him to Cars the movie. I thought it would be nice for him to have a couple of the character cars to play with since he loves to watch the movie and at 2 can name every character in the movie but not say his own name. Boy did that get out of hand.

He seriously has 29 of them now and the sad thing is, that's not all of them they make. But of course when we went in to see the folks this weekend we had to haul them all down there. I stuck Lightning McQueen and Chick in my purse to tide him over when we went to eat but we never got them out to play with them at the restaurant. Plus, we never took those two back out of my purse even after we went back to their house. By the time we got back to our house, McQueen was missing. Devastation!! It took me three days but I finally backtracked every body's steps and figured out that it somehow had to be either A1 or Hubby's fault. A1 was quickly ruled out after intense questioning so it had to be Hubby.

He wasn't convinced but after questioning him and making him think back it was determined that he spilled the contents of my purse in the driveway of my parents house while putting the car seat back into our vehicle and that is where McQueen had to be. I called my folks, told them my story and sure enough after being sent outside by my mom, my dad walked inside with McQueen in tow. w00t!!

Not being able to find that one car bothered me from Sunday night all the way to Wednesday night until we found it. Yep, I realize there are more important things to spend my time doing but my baby LOVES that car and it's next to freaking impossible to find another one sold just by itself. Life can carry on now.

9. Spent not near enough time looking online for a school I can go to online for a Master's degree. We've decided that since I'm staying home with A2 until he at least goes to kindergarten I may as well make good use of my time and go back to school. I've searched in the past for a degree program that is offered exclusively online but since it was so new at the time the most you could find were Bachelor's degrees.

I actually finished my Bachelor's degree online. We were living in Washington DC when I went back to school the first time and by the time we got ready to move back closer to home I was lacking about a semester and a half before finishing. Strings were pulled and I got to complete my BS in Psychology online without having to transfer or lose any credits and essentially without having to interrupt anything.

Since I really enjoyed the freedom of taking my classes online and posting my work at either 3 in the afternoon or 3 in the morning I've decided that online is the way to go for me. I don't have to have someone standing right in front of me to grasp a concept and sitting in my bed taking notes in my PJ's is a lot better than driving to class and sitting in an auditorium or stuffy classroom.

There are still way more Bachelor's degree programs out there than there are Master's but I've got a couple of places in mind. The worst of my struggles right now is that my husband isn't sold on me continuing in the psychology field. He thinks it's a "go nowhere" field. He could be right depending on what you want to do or where you live but it's what I like and if I'm going to spend hours working on a degree then I want it to be something that keeps my interest.

Just be warned that if I do go back then my posting may be slower than it already is because I will have had to sacrifice an arm and probably both of my legs to even be able to afford to go back to school. Have you seen the price of tuition these days??!! Holy hell! I need to get a Master's so I can get a job to help put A1 and A2 through college. I'm just praying that A1 gets a scholarship and by the time he gets out of college he can kick in a little from his super awesome architect job to help me and the hubby put A2 through too!!

I'm going to go off subject a second and be a little braggadocios here on A1. At the end of the school year every school in the nation makes their students take these state mandated tests. It usually takes about two weeks for them to get through them all and the schools threaten you with your life if your child misses school on any of the testing days. The results usually aren't given back until sometime the next year. Well A1 brought home his test scores from last year about a month ago and that child scored PERFECT on the whole entire thing. I know! Pretty amazing, huh. He even scored above average in the writing section. They had his scores ranked among the rest of the state and he ranked distinguished in every single category. I just hope he keeps it up. He gets his smarts from his momma!

10. I'd like to say cleaning my house has been one of the things keeping me busy this week but it hasn't. My living room has a Cars tent pitched in the middle of it and the counter in my utility room looks like one of those yard sale tables where everybody just picks through everything and tosses the clothes all over the place. I'm pretty sure everything on the counter is clean but at this point who knows. I managed to put the suitcase we took home this weekend up just yesterday and the bathrooms haven't been cleaned at all since last Friday and today is Thursday (excuse me while I shudder with disgust!). If I don't clean them today I'll be at the point to where I have to hover over the toilet in my own bathroom. How sad is that?!

I could go on but my brain is starting to hurt and now that I've actually reminded myself how funky my house is I MUST GET UP TO CLEAN IT!! No more riding the "I've got cramps and a headache and I feel fat from bloat horse." I don't think the hubby would let me get away with it again today.

Besides, I've got to get up anyway to go turn the heat up since it's actually going to dip into the November weather tonight and hit 28 degrees. That's a major shock to the system since it was just yesterday when I picked A2 up from preschool in a t-shirt because it was almost 70 at midday.

Til next time, ciao buddies and here's wishing you a productive Thursday!

P.S. There's no way I'm going back to edit or spellcheck all of this so once again point and laff at all mistaks in grammer and speling!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

You'd Think

Since the weekend is over you'd think I would have a nice post to put up but I don't. There's not really that much to tell right now. I'm just that boring.


I am.

I worked out Thursday, didn't on Friday, Saturday or today but I did drink diet Coke all weekend long and that is saying a lot since we went in to see the parents and when we do that we eat out like carazy folk.

By the way, I saw the 140.9 again on Thursday or Friday one. Can't remember exactly which but that's a good thing since I've been hauling in chocolate like it's going out of style the past couple of days. (Curse you Mother Nature!!)

I could go on but there are exactly 300 cookie cutters in the middle of my living room floor and unless I want to go into cardiac arrest in the middle of the night thinking about the mess in here I MUST pick them all up before I go to sleep.

A1, A2, and Child 3 (AKA: The Hubby) were playing with Play Doh tonight after we got back from our visit and they sure know how to make the mess but they seem to forget what it means to clean it up.

So here's your reminder to take your birth control pills tonight.

Do they have a husband control pill out there I could get my hands on?? I'd be all over that prescription!! Those are his nasty feet in the top of the picture. He's of course sitting on the other couch playing on the other computer and will be there until at least 1 or 2 in the morning since he doesn't have to work on Monday because of the holiday.

Here's another picture for you for no reason at all other than to show you my new hobby.

I mentioned taking up knitting a few posts back so I could keep my hands busy, to keep from causing bodily harm, and went ahead and did it. The learning to knit thing, not the bodily harm thing. Yay me! I bought me a couple of knitting needles and a skein of yarn and let YouTube edumacate me on what I needed to do. I swear anything you ever wanted to see, and then some can be found on YouTube. Plus my mom felt sorry for me and bought me a knitting book the last time I came in.

How'd she know I'd need that darn thing and use it religiously?! Intuition I guess.

It took a lot of starting over and sore fingers and a little lot of cursing to get it to where I am now. When I finish with it, it's going to be a blanket. Yes, for me.

I'll try to post my progress. Last week I didn't get to work on it but two nights and only about an hour each night.

Gotta run I'm starting to twitch looking at all these damn cookie cutters on the floor. I may even sneak in a row of knitting.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

This Chick Rocks

For all of you moms out there who haven't seen this you will love, love, love it. For all of you who have, excuse me while I catch up to the rest of the world. I just heard about it for the first time today at my MOPS meeting.

I can't wait for A1 to see it. He will roll.

What'd I tell ya?!!

Monday, November 5, 2007

Hell to the Yeah!!

So, Saturday morning I decided to hop up on the scale and see what the evil thing had to say for the day. I really wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary. I was prepared for the ol' 144.9 - 145.2, or even 149 again, fluctuation but guess what it said instead??!!

Warning: The following may not be suitable for those of you with an aversion to freakish monkey toes. Try to avert your eyes to the number on the scale only.

Un-freaking-believable! I was beyond excited! I was convinced it was a fluke so I had to run and grab my camera. Now notice how it says 140.9, well it would fluctuate from 140.8 up to 141.1 so what I had to do since my camera sent it overboard was to scream at the top of my lungs for my husband to come to the bathroom.

Of course when you hear someone screaming your name in the crazy ass tone I was using you're naturally going to break your neck trying to get in there. I could hear him stumbling over toys and cussing because when he rounded the corner of our bedroom he clipped the edge of the dresser with his hip. When he got into the bathroom he found me standing there on the scale with the camera yelling at him to "look look look look." (Had to explain to him I meant the number on the scale and not my hooters since that's naturally ALL he saw.)

I told him to take a picture of it for me that I HAD to post it and then call my Daddy. After a huge nostril flaring sigh and a lecture on how he could have hurt himself and to never ever blah blah blah (I tuned him out at that point so just use your imagination as to what he could have been saying!) he took the picture for me. Of course I was telling him to make sure he got it on the 140 side and not the 141 so it took a second or two to get it right.

Can you believe it? I finally saw a number that makes me feel like I've accomplished something. Oh and out of pure curiosity I hopped back on the scale yesterday and it did the same exact thing except this time it tended to stay more on the 141.1 side. Oh well, I'll take it, I still felt pretty good about it. Only 15 to 16 more pounds to go!! Hell yeah!

Another thing that felt pretty good, I went shopping with Friend 1 and Friend 2 Thursday night after a much needed "girls only" supper and found a pair of size 7/8 jeans at Aeropostale (read: store were I can usually find shirts to fit but the jeans are cut more for the skinny little teenage girls or the older girls who don't eat). Now when I got them off of the 70% off already marked down prices rack, Friend 2 was a little skeptical as to whether or not they would fit. She said I was loosing weight but to not get crazy.

We are THAT honest with each other. (My friends rock because Friend 1 had on some ugly ass bowling shoes that Friend 2 and I ragged her about all night but she took it in stride.) Anyway, I tried the jeans on and guess what I'm wearing right this minute?? Those 7/8 jeans that I, oh hell not I hubby paid only $4.99 for!! Again, hell yeah!!

Guess drinking all that nasty ass Diet Rite is paying off along with the fact that there are no longer any Oatmeal Creme Pies in the pantry and I'm really really trying to be good. I worked out last on Thursday after I got back from eating and shopping with the girls. Didn't have a chance to do hardly anything this weekend since Friend 3 from another state came to stay with me. I've got to get my rear down there tonight for sure.

Speaking of Friend 3, she did a pretty freaking awesome thing when she came up here. Her husband has been collecting music for years and has it all saved on their external hard drive. Since she knows I'm a Limewire junkie she brought it up and I copied only one of the folders, because we forgot about it until she was getting ready to leave, but it was 45GB worth. That's a shitload of music!

Granted I had some of it and some of it I'm not that interested in but I've already added over 100 songs to my "woo hoo, BRAND! NEW! RED!! iPod!" taking my song count over the 1,700 mark and that's with just spending about 30 minutes looking through his folder. He had another one on the drive but she needed to go and it would have taken at least another hour to copy it all. Besides I'm not so sure my computer would hold it because it was another 30GB. Apparently he and his friends pool their music. Pretty smart idea. Me and my Dad did the same thing once.

I tried to put the folder on A2's external hard drive last night so I could take it down to my Dad's house the next time I go in but get this, my clumsy ass managed to knock the hard drive off in the floor and now it won't show up on any of our computers and you can no longer shut if off without unplugging it. I felt like a major ass after doing it. He only got it for his birthday back in July and wouldn't you know the warranty ran out two frigging weeks ago.

Guess it's a good thing I only pay $5 for my jeans because now I'm going to have to buy him a new hard drive. That sucks ass but it was my fault even though I didn't mean to do it. I was just trying to do something cool for my Dad....hey wait, I wonder if I can blame it on him somehow??

I'll work on that, but for now here's a picture of my little "monk monk" for no reason other than your enjoyment. It has nothing to do with today's little story.

Oh, and what is up with this!!

The Tissue Bandit strikes again!

Happy Monday blogaholics.

Friday, November 2, 2007

November Already??!!

Where did October go? Oh wait, I know it was spent wondering what in the hell the weather was going to be like from one day to the next. Only around here (the southern region) can you wear shorts and a t-shirt during the day but freeze your nuts off come time to go to bed. I swear I would open up my windows during the day but have to make sure I didn't forget to close them come about 5 or so in the afternoon or else Hubs would be bitching it's too cold in the house.

We went trick or treating last night and instead of worrying about A2 freezing to death like we did the past two years we've taken him, I was afraid he was going to sweat to death in his little monkey suit. We got home last night and I had to change clothes because I was sweating like crazy after walking around just one neighborhood with A2. Call me crazy but boob sweat in October, on freaking Halloween of all nights, just ain't right.

Regardless of being covered head to toe in a fleece monkey suit he had such a good time last night once he figured out he was getting candy from all these people and that if he said "peas" (read: please) sweet enough that one of us would open something up for him and let him have "just one more" of about a thousand pieces of candy that he consumed yesterday. I'm a great mom, I know, you don't have to state the obvious. I at least brushed his teeth before he went to bed.

We all seriously ate way more candy than solid good food yesterday and it was GREAT. I halfway expected to see undigested candy corn in our poop today or at least look down to see that it had an orange tint to it but thank goodness it doesn't work like the real stuff does. Yeah, I'm gross but you look too and you've had chunkage before, don't deny it.

I was a little sad that A1 decided that he was too old to even dress up this year. There is no way my baby should be too old for anything like that. I figured the least he could do was put on a yellow raincoat and a hat and go as the man in the yellow suit from Curious George to complement his brother's monkey outfit. He could have carried a pillow case and scored even more loot. He didn't do it though, guess he didn't want to ruin his hard earned "coolness rep".

Can't talk about that too long or I'll lose it, not the coolness thing but the being too old thing. Since when is it Ok for mama's little boy to no longer like the simple things in life like trick or treating or believing in Santa or the Easter Bunny or that I have eyes in the back of my head and super sonic hearing? Worst of all who said it's a good thing for him to be taller than her? I damn sure didn't approve. Hell, I don't even remember being asked. Can these decisions be overruled or something like that? Get back with me on that one.

Want to know how the work out thingamabob is going? Well, today for the second time I actually saw 141. Granted it was 141.9, I still saw it. I haven't seen that since the first time about three or maybe even four weeks ago. Who can remember? It depresses me to think about it. I will say that I can at least maintain a certain weight once I get there. I stayed at 150 for-freaking-ever until I started this bet thing with my Dad. Only thing is that when I hit the 144-145 range I've petered out and up until just today haven't budged.

I've tried to watch what I eat but still screw up. I FINALLY finished the last of those damn Oatmeal Creme pies last week. Now I just have to refrain from dipping into the Halloween pumpkin. Do you know how hard that is going to be? Can you even imagine just how fan-freaking-tabulous cashews mixed with candy corn tastes? Do you know how many Reese's Peanut Butter Cups this child got?

I've tried very very hard to cut back on my Dr. Pepper consumption. I even bought some Diet Rite in black cherry the other day just so I could drink something carbonated and not be tempted to do bad. For the record, that stuff is horrible. I'd rather drink piss I think than to drink too much of that stuff. It's that bad. I still suffer through it though. When I go out I try (doesn't always work) to order either water or something diet.

I've fallen out of the everyday working out routine (that's a shocker) but still try to make it at least three times a week. My husband seems to think that that is all I need but the fat on my ass and my thighs make me believe otherwise.

I do have something super-mega-awesome to report and that is that I FINALLY GOT A NEW RED 8GB iPOD! I even got my name engraved on it for free! Can I get a w00h00t from the peanut gallery??!! The iPod fairy granted me my wish and it is beautiful!! (Dear iPod fairy, I freaking love you! You Rock with a capital R!!) I've already loaded it up with about 6GB of music and I'm about to search for me some Guns N' Roses to put on it right now. I've looked for them in the past but have had the damnedest time finding what I want. I changed my video over on the left so if you like GNR you should give it a click-a-roo. I don't have any videos on my iPod yet but that will soon change. I was thinking about getting an audio book with the $25 I'm going to win from my Daddy.

Oh, I'd like to take a minute to thank everyone who participated in the little poll I had up for the last 20 days. Thank you self. Oh your welcome self. OK, I'm done. What's the deal? You couldn't pick a box!! I know I only have about three people who read this thing but come on!!

OK, I'm done for today. I just worked out and wanted to post something real quick before I called it a night. I've got to go change out of these clothes and watch me some Seinfeld. That's my new nightly ritual. I've got all but season 8 and the new season 9 of course. That one won't be out until next week. I love me some Sein!! Hubby finally got me a DVD player for our bedroom and I'm taking full advantage of it.

Really going now. Happy November everyone or as I like to refer to it, the month in which every stinking time I wash clothes I will either have to pull a bazillion candy wrappers out of the dryer or rewash about umpteen loads due to one of these assbags leaving candy from the Halloween bucket in their jeans pockets! Today I fished out a Sweet Tarts wrapper and two Laffy Taffy wrappers. Luckily nothing sticky as of yet. This fact alone makes it even harder for me not to either eat up all the candy myself or at least hide it from everyone just to avoid the hassle.

Ciao amigos!!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Suckers and Snickers and Candy Corn, Oh My!

How sad is it that we have all already eaten enough candy to make every dentist within a 50 mile radius cringe and we haven't even put on our costumes yet to go trick or treating!!??!!

Can somebody pass the Pepto, I'm pretty sure we're going to be needing it later.

Thing is, I'm glad we waited until TODAY to purchase our give away candy, otherwise I'd we waddling down the street instead of just panting loudly while trying to keep up.

That's all.

Going to go score some loot now.

Happy Halloween to all of you out there. Have fun and be safe.

I promise to update again berry berry soon.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Glad it's you and not me....yet

I woke up this morning to an awful sound. I racked my brain trying to figure out just what in the hell it could be. There was popping and creaking, it was horrible. It took me a couple of minutes but I finally figured it out. It was the sound of my old ass sister getting up out of bed two states over!

It has to be hard being that old and dealing with all that noise from your bones and joints popping like that. You should really get that checked out. Don't you fret though big, OLDER sister, I'll bring you some Centrum and Ben Gay on Saturday.

Happy Birthday DK!! Hope you have a wonderful day today. Can't wait to see you.

Love from all of us.

Here's what I think we should say to getting old!

Friday, October 12, 2007

Friday Filler Muppets Style

Since playing online trumps running on the treadmill any day, this is what I did while my guys were watching their stupid Sci-fi shows tonight (see previous post). A2 got a kick out of it. He danced and even tried to sing along to a couple of these. Hope you enjoy!

Debbie Harry sings Call Me.

Kermit and Debbie Harry sing The Rainbow Connection.

Debbie Harry sings One Way or Another.

I don't care who you are or what you think....Debbie Harry rocks!
This is back in the day when the kid shows were awesome and not so superfreakingficial like they are now.

Alice Cooper singing Schools Out! Can you imagine how this would go over today?! Um, It wouldn't.

Elton John singing Crocodile Rock.

Elton when Elton was cool! A2 loved this one, he was singing along with the crocodiles. Too cute for words!

Kenny Rogers singing The Gambler.

I'd say this would get on a kids show today sometime between hell freezing over and never!

Leo Sayer - you'll know him when you hear it.

Dancin' woo! This one rocks!! A2 loved the bird with the googly eyes.

Just TRY to get this one out of your head. Won't happen anytime soon.

A2 even imitated this one. He'd lower his voice, get in his daddy's face and say "nah nah."

You have to admit this was one jammin' ass kids show. I love it!

Sci-Fi Suckday

Every Friday night beginning at 9:02, my husband and A1 are sucked into another realm from which NOTHING, that should be a nothing in bold with lots of these (!!!!!) can pry their attention away from. I'm talking about Sci-fi Friday and it drives me up the friggin' wall. Yeah, yeah, I watch a few crap shows, most of which do not have a followable plot or frankly any value whatsoever, but I would rather bash my skull in with a shovel than to sit through an entire episode of Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis or Battlestar Gallactica.

What is it with these shows?! I'll admit I get involved when I'm watching television. Like the other night when I was watching the best of The Girls Next Door I actually ignored a phone call because I was too lazy to pause the show and walk over to the mantle to see who was calling. Plus, I was enjoying watching the slip and slide antics of the girls. But, most of the time, I can still function and at least acknowledge that the world is still spinning around me whenever I'm watching TV. I'm just that talented. I can even surf the net while watching TV and still manage to pay attention to the other people in the room with me.

Hubby and A1, not so much. As soon as 9:02 (don't know what the :02 is all about) hits they are pretty much in a catatonic trance. I kid you not. I could probably walk around with my boobs hanging out while blowing a trombone out my ass and NOBODY.WOULD.NOTICE. Well, maybe the neighbors but that's a different story.

I pray nothing ever happens to me and poor A2 is left alone with these two on a Friday night because he'd be shit out of luck if he needed something like a clean diaper or say CPR. It would just have to wait. I'm not so sure if he'd get the evil stink eye that I get every time I breathe louder than normal during the show, let alone try to say something or walk in front of the damn TV screen. You'd think I had just kicked them in the balls or something if I try to get one of their attention.

Sometimes I'd like to do just that.

It's not like we don't have a friggin' DVR and it's taping simultaneously while they watch the show or that the same exact show comes on again just two hours later.

Maybe I'm just jealous because I NEVER EVER NEVER EVER get to watch a show when it actually comes on. If I want to see something I have to DVR it and watch it later. More often than not I have to watch it the next day or even in some cases two or three days later. Most of the time it takes me about an hour and a half to watch an hour show and that's with fast forwarding through all of the commercials. There is always somebody wanting something or wanting to tell me something life altering or really just stupid, plus I usually have to get up and go pee about 10 times or put clothes either in the dryer or get them out of it or answer the phone because it's pretty much a written law that when I'm getting into something good that fucker will ring like there's no tomorrow.

You know, it wouldn't be so bad if I could go in the other room and maybe watch something else but that's pretty much imfrigginpossible. It's not enough that they take the big television over in the great room but they have to crank that damn thing out so loud that I'm sure the neighbors can follow along word for word. No matter where I go in this 3400 square foot house I couldn't hear myself fart (and I have been known to rattle a few walls) let alone anything else on another television. They literally drown out all other noise in the house.

There is no winning.

Right now it's only the one show, Stargate Atlantis because Stargate SG-1 was cancelled last season after about 10 years. But, starting in November, Battlestar Gallactica will be back on as well. That means two whole hours. Yippee fucking skippie!

I'm thinking about taking up knitting or crochet. I'm wondering if a little knit one, purl two will help get me through the pain of having to make it through these Friday nights. On the other hand, maybe it's not such a good idea for me to have such pointy objects in my hands....somebodies eyeballs just might get jabbed out for giving me those damn dirty looks.

I ain't joking.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Page and Other Updates

I've been wanting to change my page for a while now but until last night I hadn't been able to find the design that fits me. This one does!

It only took me for!freaking!ever! to figure out how in the crap to make everything all come over that I had on my other page. I sat here for literally hours before it finally dawned on me what I needed to do. I even sent out emails asking for help. I'm pretty sure the people I sent the email to are currently changing their pants from having laughed at me so hard they peed themselves. Because once I figured it out it was so so simple to do. A1 or even A2 probably could have figured it out in half the time it took me.

Speaking of A2, he and his brother, A1, are both on fall break this week. We were going to go to the park today but had to do some birthday shopping for the MIL. Big fun there. *rolling eyes copiously* Oh well, gives us something to do tomorrow.

Can I just take a minute and give a big ol hallelujah to the fact that it is finally feeling like October around here and I am really looking forward to going to the park to enjoy it! Let me ask this though, where else but here is it possible to need both your air conditioner and your heater in the same 24 hour span?! What is up with that?

I look forward to October every year. I really do hate to see the summer go because I would rather sweat to death than be bitter cold but I love it when the breeze outside cools things down just enough to where you need to wear jeans and a t-shirt or shorts and a light long sleeve shirt. It's the in between that I just love. I look forward to turning off our a/c and opening up the windows and letting the fresh air in the house until it gets too cold to bear at night. But let me just say this, the high here was 93 on Monday and over the weekend I went outside and came back in with visible boob sweat because it was so hot. There is NO REASON for boob sweat in freaking October!! None!

Another reason I (heart) October, I'm a huge Atlanta Braves fan and (use to) look forward to the World Series at the end of the month. I use to follow them religiously. Now not so much. Can you believe we lived in Atlanta for a couple of years and NEVER went to see a game! I went to more games when I didn't even live close. My husband isn't the typical sports nut so I could never really talk him into going. He's just not that into it although I'd rather he be into sports than that sci-fi bullshit I'm forced to endure on a regular basis. He and A1 are killing me with all that Battlestar Gallactica and Stargate crap that's back in the fall TV lineup. Don't they realize The Bachelor and The Real World are much better shows to watch?! Like, seriously!

One more tidbit that makes October my favorite month of all, both of my children were born in July. You do the math. There's just something about October!

Let's see what else is new with me. Oh, membah when I said I had some product reviews to do? Well here's a short one for you. Somebody told me about this lotion from Aveeno called Positively Smooth. Supposedly you use it after every time you shave your legs. Here's their claim:

With an exclusive combination of natural soy extracts, skin-silkening soy, and skin conditioners, this moisturizing lotion makes hair look and feel softer, finer and less noticeable within 4 weeks, so you can shave less often while visibly improving skin tone and texture. This breakthrough formula contains rich emollients and vitamins to moisturize for a full 24 hours to improve the look and feel of skin, leaving it softer and smoother.

After using it for almost three months, here's my opinion of their claim:


For almost $10 for an 8 or 10 ounce bottle of lotion I was expecting to see at least a little difference. I see nothing. They claim you can even use it on your bikini area for noticeably less stubble. Again, bullshit. When I first got it I tried to shave at least every other day and put this lotion on right after. I'll admit the smell was pleasant enough, but not something I would want to put on my whole body and I have to say it wasn't greasy at all but it just didn't do anything for me. I would have gotten about the same results if I had been slathering myself with butter. And probably more attention from the husband. And lets not even go there with their claim to improve skin tone and texture.

Don't waste your money on this one. Use that $10 to buy a couple of lotions you like from Bath and Body Works. At least you can use them all over your body and smell pretty. I find that smelling pretty more often than not will distract my husband away from the fact that my legs could rip the hide off of him if he got too close. Especially when I can find the lotions that make me smell like vanilla or oranges. He's a sucker for sweets! I could seriously go in the kitchen and rub cookie dough on me and get more of a rise out of him than any expensive perfume or lotion out there on the market.

Enough about that though, I've got to go work out now even though it's after midnight. Hubby left us to go fix a water heater at his brothers in the next state over so we can stay up as long as we want and sleep as late as we possibly can in the morning. I think I'll pop the boys some popcorn and stick in the Jungle Book downstairs to keep them occupied while I'm sweating my hiney off to some Janet Jackson. I figure some Nasty Boys and What Have You Done For Me Lately will get me moving pretty good tonight.

By the way, I weighed myself this morning and it said 143 again. I don't get it. I was happy to see it but I just don't get it. How can I fluctuate that much in just a matter of days? I'll be too afraid to weigh myself in the morning for fear the damn thing will read 155 or some shit like that.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

I Am NOT The Biggest Loser

Good thing I do actually work out more than I update my blog. Sad thing about working out though is that it seems like I am making zero progress now.

Why in the hell is it so damn difficult to lose a few pounds and then just keep that shit off? Maybe it is easy for everybody else but it sure as crap isn't easy for me. It wasn't two weeks ago that I was yippee damn skippie that I was down to 143. I had convinced myself that by the end of the week I was GOING to see 140. That freaking day never came. I saw 141 for like one minute but as of yesterday my lard ass was back up to 147. It's almost like it all went to shit right after I did my little happy dance for seeing that 141. I guess I got too sure of myself.

147 though!! Can you believe it?! I've tried to keep on somewhat of a regular work out schedule but once I skip that first day it easily turns into two days without working out and then that two turns into three and that three turns into four oatmeal cream pies stuffed into my mouth because I.Have.NO.Self.Control!

I saw the 147 last night and immediately put my running shoes on and hit the treadmill at 10. I was so disgusted that today I just looked at the scale and didn't step on it at all. I refuse. I don't need the let down, I feel shitty enough as it is.

Why can't I just lose the weight and maintain it? My brother in law is dropping weight like a mad man and I'm jealous. He looks great and I want those kind of results. My counterpart in this weight loss bet is down seven pounds and at this rate it looks like I'm going to be the one forking out for the iTunes card.

There has got to be a secret to it. If you know what it is can you whisper it to me? I'm very discouraged right now. The only thing that is keeping my spirits up is that I tried on those white jeans today and believe it or not they actually buttoned. I was sure they wouldn't even slide up my honkin' thighs.

The Biggest Loser comes on tonight and I will be firmly planted on the couch watching every single minute of it. I draw a lot of encouragement from that show. The results they are getting is inspiring. They aren't dropping massive amounts of weight each week but they stick to it no matter what. Some are only losing about one or two pounds a week after working out like crazy so that gives me hope. I've yet to see any of them stay at the same weight or (gasp) gain pounds like me, but they have trainers around to slap those wretched oatmeal cream pies out of their hands and I don't.

I look forward to seeing the person's transformation that got kicked off the most. Most of them look awesome and I try to tell myself that if they can do it so can I.

Here's to trying to refocus on my goal to reach 125 and to blog on a more regular basis.

Friday, September 28, 2007

I Melt

Me: Sitting at the kitchen table cursing the computer under my breath because it won't stay connected to the Internet for longer than five minutes.

A2: Sitting in the middle of my bed, two rooms over, watching Go Diego Go.

Me: Overcome by uncontrollable fit of sneezing.

A2 after the sneezing ended: "bes woo".

How sweet was that! It was like second nature for him to say it to me and I could hear him from all the way in my bedroom.


Better yet, I love that he is so much like me! It kills his Dad that he is picking up more and more of my mannerisms every single day. Last night he was playing with his Mack car hauler when the back latch came undone and the cars rolled out.

He stood there for about five seconds looking down at the cars on the ground then turned and stuck out both hands and said, "awww, maaain". (Translated into Aw, Man! Only my most used phrase ever when something like that happens!)

Hubby just shook his head.

This morning A2 was actually awake when hubby left for work so we walked him to the door to say our goodbyes to him. I whispered in A2's ear to tell daddy to "go make milk money" and he of course did it. It came out a little mangled but hubby got the gist of it.

Again, hubby just shook his head.

Instead of hubby telling me to "have a good day dear," he left telling me I was "ruining that baby." I got a good chuckle out of that one for at least 10 more minutes.

And yes, I'm fully aware that it's cute now and that as he gets older it will turn into something not so cute.

Hence, A1 (13) = Just. Like. Me. = I want to strangle him sometimes for it!!

Can I just take this opportunity to apologize to my parents for being, well, a teenager back then.

Switching gears: Last night as I was working out I had my iPod blaring, yet for some reason, I kept singing this one particular song to get me through the last 15 minutes on the elliptical and naturally I had to download it today.

I'm almost embarrassed to admit it but, here it is, my new workout mantra.

Don't laugh, download it and I guarantee you'll kick up the pace once it comes on. You can't help but bounce a little bit to it. Even though it wasn't playing in my ears it made that last 15 minutes go by a lot easier!

Don't ask me what made this pop into my head last night but it completely overrode everything else coming through my earbuds like some sort of twisted earworm that wouldn't go away!

I'm sad, I'm fully aware.

Oh and as for those three pounds I wanted to lose, those fuckers are hanging on for dear life. I weighed again today, 143.5. What gives!!??!!

Dear Scale,

This is what I think of you and your refusal to Show! Me! The! Weight! Loss!

Just wanted to clear that up. See you Monday.


Have a happy weekend out there everyone else! Don't let anything break your stride!!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Swiper NO Swiping!!

Wow, it's been a crazy couple days out there in blogland. I've been reading a few of my favorite blogs and it appears that because they are posting Flickr banners on their sites or just pictures in general of their children on their blogs, there are freaks out there in Internet world stealing those pictures and using them for random reasons.

Kooky huh?

One blog chick was sent a link to some stupid scam site that was claiming to hold the secrets of choosing whether or not your next child is a boy or a girl. There was some lady on there stating that she had two boys and wanted a girl so badly and used this "supposed" technique and lo and behold she had a girl. Her testimonial was somewhat convincing except the picture she posted at the end was NOT her own children and had been lifted from a mommy blogger out there minding her own business.

There was another mommy blogger, that I absolutely love to read her stuff, that had three or more of her pictures stolen and even doctored. She found a picture of her daughter who can't be older than 7 or 8 doctored in a way that made her look like she was shooting up meth or something. How fucking sick is that!? Oops, sorry didn't really mean to drop the F-bomb, I usually try to sesame street it up but that's really messed up. She's a child for goodness sake. They took another one of her pictures and made some stupid comment about this little girl being fat and she's the size of a broom stick at best. This mom had a picture of herself stolen and someone else was claiming to be her. Pretty sad.

I try not to post pictures of my children on this site and have not given my real name and real location to where I live for a reason. There are some messed up people out there that have nothing better to do than to prey on others. I'll admit I have put up maybe two or three posts that have had a couple of pictures in them but I don't go all out like some of the other bloggers out there but realize all it takes is for someone to find that one picture that was posted and run wild with it.

I, like most of the other mommy bloggers out there, do this just for fun. It's a nice little hobby that lets me say what I want to say, how I want to say it and if someone stumbles upon it and happens to agree with me or gets a kick out of it then that's fine. I don't do this for anyone other than myself. I often catch a lot of grief from my husband from it because he thinks it's nonproductive. I say phooey on that and do it anyway because it give me a creative outlet to write stuff that's in my head. I like to freedom to be able to do this even though I don't divulge everything about my life in fine detail.

I know someone who was personally attacked via the Internet for some things they posted on a blog and the firestorm from that is still going strong. They have been struggling with it for a couple of years now and it's pathetic. This person has had their personal information posted in more than one spot for any and everyone to see and use as they wish. It's actually pretty scary if you think of it.

I realize that there are no real laws that govern what is put out there on blogs or other Internet sites. Every time I hit the publish button I am taking a chance on having something I say either taken out of context or even stolen. There are bloggers out there that have had an entire post that they have written posted on someone else's site except their names had been removed and it was signed with someone else's name all together.

I really don't worry too much about my stuff getting lifted unless there is some other big ol' girl out there that likes to bitch about trying to lose weight and wants to lift some of my rantings! I really don't talk about much other than that or so it seems to me. I do talk about my boys but I made the conscious decision a while back to not blog so much about A1 because he is at a very volatile age right now and I don't want to embarrass him horribly since I do know that some family members read this.

I blog about A2 because he's little and frankly he does some pretty funny shit. My husband is fair game but outside of some of the quirky things he does to make me laugh or want to choke the living hell out of him I refuse to get too personal regarding him as well.

Anyway, I just think it's a sad thing when you can't even post up a picture of your little one or really anything or anyone to share with friends or even just a wandering stranger, because you think they are the cutest thing ever, and can't trust that it'll be cool to leave it there and that everyone that sees it will agree that you have the cutest child on the face of the earth and leave the picture alone. (I know that was a horrible sentence but it makes sense in my head!) The gist of it: Can't post pictures because SOME people aren't cool and just plain suck!

So with all that said my final thoughts on the matter is this: Don't steal other people's shit. If you aren't creative enough to come up with something on your own then go read a book, don't try to blog using posts from other people. If you aren't that photogenic don't swipe somebody else's picture just to doctor it up to make you feel better about yourself, it sucks.

Whew, I'm glad I got that out. I'm was sitting here all alone reading some of those horror stories and actually missing my little guy this morning. He's at preschool again and while Monday was a different story, I was actually begging for alone time then, I'm currently watching the minutes slowly tick away until time to go get him. He and I spent a good day together yesterday (no preschool) and he actually cried for about five seconds this morning when I dropped him off. I stood outside the door secretly hoping he would keep crying so I could just go back in and get him but he didn't. He likes playing with the other kids. I think he cried this morning because he was still sleepy. We stayed up pretty late last night tinkering around with another freebie phone my hubby got for me. This one is the Sony w300i, it's the Walkman phone I wanted when it first came out last year but it cost about $300 at the time. It's got some cool features on it but it's taking me a while to learn the ins and outs of it.

I do have good news to report on the weight loss front but it totally goes against what I said I wasn't going to do the other day. Monday I weighed myself and it said 143.4 (membuh that?) and was determined to hit 140 by next Monday. I said I wasn't going to weigh again until then. Whatever! So much for that.

The good news is that I couldn't help myself and jumped on the scale yesterday afternoon at around 4 or so and guess what it said..........141.7!! I couldn't freaking believe it. I was jumping up and down hooting and hollering, that is until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I kept on hooting but not so much jumping. I've still got a ways to go before I enjoy that image. I, of course, knew it was too good to be true so today I got on the scale again and I was right, it no longer said 141.7 but it said 142.4. I'll take it though because it means I've at least lost a pound. GO Me!

I put on a pair of green cargo pants today that are an 8 and they fit pretty good. I didn't have to suck in to button them but they do feel a tiny big snug across my belly. Not so much where I'd be humiliated if you lifted up my shirt. The good thing about putting on these pants is that a couple of months ago they use to cut me in two when I tried to button them and they were so tight in the front it was camel toe city. I'm talking the kind that hurts you to look at. I also put on my I (Heart) Twinkies t-shirt and it no longer made me look like I was stashing a case of them in various regions such as my back and under my boobs. It now just kind of fits like it should, a little snug across the boobs and loose on the side. I bought this shirt because I thought it would be funny for me (a big girl) to be wearing a shirt that pretty much advertises the reason I AM a big girl. My husband didn't quite get the irony in it. He seldom does.

I'm pretty pleased with the progress I'm finally making. I know it's not going to be an overnight transformation. It's more about feeling better and having more energy to keep up with A1 and A2. I like to kid about it being for the $25 but that's just one tiny incentive that brings out the competitor in me. My counterpart in this little venture is hovering around the -6lbs area, and while that's great, I really rooting for them make some more progress too. I want them around for a long long time and dropping the weight and being healthier is the only way that will happen.

Here's a thought, I'm thinking about upping the anty to whoever reaches their goal first not only gets the $25 iTunes card but for every pound the other person didn't lose of their 25 that's worth that much more on another iTunes card. So if my partner wins and I'm still 15lbs away from my goal, I would have to cough up another $15 card. How's that grab you G?!

So here's to kicking it up a notch and reaching that goal.

Monday, September 24, 2007


w00h00t! it's Monday. I've been looking forward to today since Friday afternoon. A1's at school, A2's at preschool and hubby is at work. I have the house, the computer and the television all to myself and it feels GOOUOOD.

Don't get me wrong I luv my boys but I also luv being able to sit here and blog without my husband snarling his nose telling me I should be doing something more productive. I love being able so sit here at 10:28 in the morning and watch the True Hollywood Story about The Osbournes and not another episode of Spongebob Friggin'Squarepants that I've seem already about a trillion times. I love not being asked over and over and over again if I'm going to get up and cook something by A1 and then when I do cook something for him he does that annoying teenage "uumph" thing through his nose.

Maybe later I'll clean my house and work out but not right now. Am I horrible for enjoying this alone time possibly a little too much? If so WHO CARES!

Oh, I'm holding at 143 still as of today. I weighed myself yesterday and it said 144 even but this morning it said 143.4. A little disheartening that I didn't lose any weight last week but good to know I didn't gain any. My goal for this week is to finally see 140. I should have gone to the gym this morning but I was hungry and needed to eat otherwise I would have passed out trying to get my workout on.

I'm going to really push myself to work out extra hard this week and to really watch those calories carefully. I'm not going to weigh myself until this time next Monday.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Recently downloaded to my iPod: P!nk's entire I'm Not Dead CD from last year. I never really loved the whole Stupid Girls song when it came out but this CD is pretty awesome to work out to. My favorite track 'Fingers'.

I found the video on YouTube but didn't want to embed it. You can click here if you want to see it.

I realize P!nk isn't for everyone so if you are easily offended then don't click here (same link, different spot) to see her but click here instead.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Calling All Stoners

Call me crazy but I'm guessing the people at Southern Illinois University in Carbondale won't be getting the funding they want for this one.

"SIUC's smoking laboratory plans to request a grant from the National Institute on Drug Abuse to help them find out why so many cigarette smokers also smoke marijuana, the lab's director David Gilbert said. If approved, Gilbert said the study - which would examine the effects of marijuana on human subjects - would likely begin in early 2009.

The marijuana study would be somewhat similar to the research the lab has done on nicotine, Gilbert said. Participants would smoke marijuana cigarettes obtained from the National Institute on Drug Abuse and researchers would monitor their brain activity with devices, including some that track eye movement and brainwaves, he said.

Before the study can be done on human subjects, the project must be submitted to the university's Human Subjects Committee, Martens said. The committee is designed to ensure research on human subjects is ethical and moral."

Hmmm, ethical and moral are you kidding me with that one?!

I read that they want to submit 64 people to this study and have it span upwards to three years. Something tells me the people who came up with this idea must have surely toked a few themselves and were still feeling the effects when they thought it would be cool to propose this idea.

I mean come on. How can it be considered moral and ethical to introduce a highly addictive controlled substance to individuals and then after the study is over expect them to not suffer from the effects all in the name of research?

Plus, lets hope they aren't planning on getting kids from campus that are actually planning on getting a degree (or doing pretty much anything productive) within those three or so years. Because first of all just the short-term effects of marijuana use include problems with memory and learning; distorted perception (sights, sounds, time, touch); difficulty in thinking and problem solving; loss of coordination; and increased heart rate, anxiety, and panic attacks. How'd you like to sit next to these kids during a lecture?!!

I would think they would have to recruit "seasoned" stoners to avoid an ethical issue right from the start. Can you seriously introduce someone who has never smoked before to this study? I wouldn't think so. Sorry but this just blows my mind they are seriously considering this as a research study.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall watching all the willing participants signing up for this one. Woodstock anyone? Hope the researchers ask for plenty of extra money for Doritos and Twinkies because they're going to need a munchies stipend for sure!

My money is riding on the fact that whoever makes the funding decision about this will puff puff pass on it and this little study will never see the light of day.

Now if Honah Lee State University had cooked up this idea they just might have gotten away with it no questions asked!

What are your thoughts?

And by the way, Honah Lee State University, I made that one up.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Can I Get A Screwdriver Over Here!!

I have this theory that every little boy should come, not with a set of instructions on how to raise them, but with a friggin set of phillips head screwdrivers. I can't begin to guess the amount of times I've had to search this house over for a phillips head, usually of the size that is not in the kitchen drawer, to fix something that A1 or A2 have thrust in my lap.

Why is it though that every single time I need a screwdriver I can't find one? It's not like we don't have a blue billion of them around here of all sizes. It's gotten to the point today that I'm looking for a screwdriver of the liquid sorts or else I'm going to rip all of my hair out!

A1's getting a little better at it since he can now fix things on his own and about the most he needs to do these days is replace a battery or two but A2 is the worst right now. I'll bet you within the last two hours alone I've had to take apart a truck that he shoved another one of his cars inside so far that it got stuck (not once but three times), another car that the batteries finally ran down on but he pitched a fit for me to replace, and some sort of bouncing ball thing that for some reason (A2) or another got jammed up with some sort of unidentifiable gunk. I'm guessing silly putty to be the culprit in that debacle.

Preschool update: A2 went again on Monday and instead of crying he went straight to Miss S and even blew me a kiss goodbye. I was SO proud of him. I try to give him a pep talk on the way there to let him know that he's going to go play with kids and I think he was actually looking forward to it yesterday. I picked him up and he was telling all the teachers bye in his sweet little voice and waving to them. I can tell they are all putty in his hands after only three days. How can they not be? He's the only boy with five girls in the class. What can I say I'm partial to little boys myself.

Weight watchers update: I stepped on the scale on Saturday and it said 143. I was pretty darn excited to see that number. I was hoping it wasn't a fluke so I weighed again today and it read 143.4. woo hoo for me. I'm feeling pretty good and actually look forward to working out even more now. Last week was sort of tough because I literally had NO energy whatsoever and didn't work out but one time. Don't know if I was sick and rundown or just extra lazy.

I've been working out for the past few days again though and even went to the gym yesterday after I dropped off A2. There were only about four other people there which made it perfect. I worked out with two grandmas and some smiley old man that I'm glad left after only 20 minutes. He's one of those that is probably harmless but something about the way he's looking at you gives you the creeps.

I didn't stay super long because I felt a little awkward trying to workout by myself on all the equipment. Plus there was a trainer there and I felt like she was rolling her eyes at me because she knew I had no clue what I was doing. (Bitch)

I officially love Friend 2 more than anyone else on earth right now! I called her this morning to see what was new in her world and we decided to meet up for lunch. I get out of the car to get A2 out at O'Charley's and she said to me, "wow, skinny, you've really lost some weight!"

She.Called.Me.Skinny! I know she was exaggerating a tad bit but w00t! she called me skinny. I'll have to admit I was feeling pretty good before that because I put on this pair of green Old Navy flood pants that I had worn over the summer because I was determined to get in them even though they were a little lot snug around the middle but today I put them on and they fit like they were suppose to. No spillage whatsoever. Her saying that just made it so much sweeter. After I got home I decided to try on this pair of size 8 denim capris that I haven't worn in two years (I have the 2005 ToysRUs receipt in the pocket as proof) and guess what......they too fit perfect. NO spillage. I could not believe it. I was extremely happy about this because this particular pair were 100% cotton and not of the stretch material. Look out Daddy, hope you are prepared to fork over that $25 iTunes card!!

Moving on: I'm so excited fall is just around the corner. This is my absolute favorite time of year, both of my children are July babies, you do the figuring on that one! I love it when the weather cools down just enough that I can open up the windows and turn on the ceiling fans. Two days last week and over the weekend I had all the windows up. I had to shut them back though today, it's too hot when big girls crack a sweat standing in front of the sink washing muffin pans.

Know what else I'm excited about? Some good television that's coming on tonight. I'm sad that tonight is the season finale of Big Brother. I'll officially be going through Big Brother withdrawal by tomorrow. Good thing Survivor starts on Thursday. I'm happy that Dick and Daniele are the final two. I'm guessing Dick will win it all at least that's what I'm hoping for anyway. I know I said I was going to dish on it all summer but since I didn't know if all two of you that read this watch or not I figured I would spare you the boredom if you didn't. Also tonight The Biggest Loser. I've only watched that show all the way through one time and that was the very first group that was on. I watched it last week though and can't wait to see how this group does. I'm pretty sure it's because I want to lose weight myself that I'm interested in it. Plus Alison Sweeney (Sami) from Days of our Lives is the new host and I love her! Anyway both of those come on tonight and I'm really looking forward to it.

Dilemma of the Day: What am I going to do about A2 sleeping in our bed at night?! I created a monster a few months back when he was sick and his nose was stuffy and instead of leaving him in his own bed, that is on the complete other end of the house, I put him in bed with us. At the time I thought it would just work out better for me and his dad because we were both worried about him and didn't want to have to get up 100 times to go back there just to check on him. Well that has now turned into him sleeping with us every single night since that time and while it was cute and sweet for a while I am now ready to either A: hog tie him to his own bed so he will stay in there all night or B: move into the spare bedroom downstairs.

I guess it really wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that he doesn't sleep so much in the middle but completely on top of me where I only have about two inches to work with and we have a friggin king size bed. He flops around in the middle of the night and it's pretty much a guarantee that at some point I'm going to have a foot or maybe even both feet clobber me in the head sometime around 3 or 3:30 in the morning. Even worse than that though, he grits his teeth, LOUD. That makes my skin crawl. I'd rather hear nails raking across a chalkboard than to hear someone grit their teeth. (ugh, it's makes me shudder just thinking about it!)

I tried to encourage him to sleep in his bed on more than one occasion and sometimes is works until he hears me trying to slip out of his room. At that point it's all over with. I've rocked him to sleep in his room several times and put him down in his bed but he wakes up in the middle of the night and comes screaming through the house to the side of our bed and at that point one of us will pick him up and lay him down in between us.

One night last week I decided to try to get him to sleep in his bed. I hadn't slept good for a while and had heard enough of hubby's bitching and moaning about not being able to cuddle next to his wife. I tried a technique I saw on Super Nanny where the mom would sit in the room with the child and not interact with them at all except to place them in bed each time they would get up. That was hard.

A2 knew I was up to something and was determined to get a reaction out of me. He kept trying to hand me his blanket and when I wouldn't take it he would get out of bed and put it on me. After that he would cry for me to hand it back to him but I refused. I never touched it and that was pissing him off. He knew I was trying to get him to go to sleep in his bed and he didn't want any part of it. He cried when I ignored him and cried even harder when he got out of bed and I picked him up and put him back in it. That went on for at least two hours.

At about 1 in the morning I decided I'd had enough and left him in his room to cry it out. (I know I'm horrible) I don't have a problem with letting him cry it out as long as he isn't hurting himself then crying won't kill him.

BUT - What does Hubby dear do? Hubby gets out of bed and goes in there and gets A2 and takes him to bed with him. In all of 30 seconds he had managed to shit on about two hours of my struggling and coaxing A2 to lay down. I was livid. It took all the patience I had in my body (which isn't much if you know me at all!) not to go in there with a skillet upside my husbands head. He knew what I was trying to do but because it was so late and he had to get up in the morning he said he needed to get some sleep therefore A2 got exactly what he wanted. Some days I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.

I've tried to make his room as cool as possible. It's decked out with all things Spongebob and he has his little Spongebob "waterbaby" in there right beside him. He's got a cool Spongebob night light but he just won't stay in there. I've never had this problem with him before. Right from the start after we brought him home from the hospital he slept in his crib and never whimpered but now that he's older he just won't do it. Is it my fault? I'm sure. According to my husband it's absolutely my fault. Can I fix it? Who knows, I need some advice!! Otherwise this kid is going to be sleeping with us right up through high school.

Funny thing is, I never had this problem with A1. About the worst he would do is come into our room and sleep on the floor on my side of the bed. For some reason he didn't want to sleep with us he just wanted to sleep near us. I would have to do a floor check before getting out of bed so I didn't step right in the middle of him up until about two or three years ago. Now his grandparents were a different story, I think that kid would still be sleeping with them had I not made him start sleeping in the spare room every time we go in to visit. I blame the grandparents for that one.

I know there are some people out there that advocate co sleeping but I'm more of an advocate of a good nights sleep. Who knows maybe I'll try to get him to go to sleep in his own bed tonight and hope that hubby knows what's good for him and doesn't mess up my process again. If he does then it really won't matter if A2 sleeps in the king bed because with his daddy sleeping on the couch there should be plenty of room for the two of us.

I'm not going to edit this so have fun laughing at my mistakes!

Friday, September 14, 2007

One Word

More like three...What the hell?

Like Mother, Like Son

Don't know how I could have forgotten to post this up, chalk it up to my Internet causing me grief and massive brain fartage but let me tell you how my husband almost stroked out the other night.

It was last week sometime when I decided to go all girly and hit up the make-up, bikini wax, and fake fingernail section of our lovely neighborhood Wal-Mart. By the way, I've got some product reviews coming up.

I came home with all my goodies and decided to put on the press on nails one night while the husband was sitting on the big couch playing on the computer and A2 was bumbling around in his normal manner.

Naturally A2 was very curious about what I was doing and wanted to touch everything I had sitting out. The kit came with a tiny emery board that I was using to scruff up the tops of my nails so the glue would hold better.

Curiosity got the better of little A2 and he came over and stuck his fingers out for me to rub the emery board on his fingers. I took his little hand and did it easy across a couple of his finger tips.

This warranted a stern look from over top of the computer from hubby dear.

I didn't pay him (hubby) much attention and went about my business. He's still a little unhappy about the fact that a while back I was painting my toenails and A2 insisted I do one of his. I obliged and he freaked his daddy out with one pink big toe.

Anyway, back to my story, I measured out my nails and had them sitting across the arm of the little couch and A2 came over and of course had to touch all 10.

He was seriously interested in what I was doing.

Once I got ready to get the glue out I had forgotten to take the little stick thingy and push back my cuticles. So I bent over and got the box out from under the couch. (I had to put it up under there so A2 would leave it alone.) At that point I was sitting with my butt on the edge of the couch with my legs crossed pushing back the cuticles.

Here comes the good part.

A2 decided to hop up on the couch beside me and point and grunt at the emery board that I had put on the arm since I was finished with it. I didn't think anything of it and just handed it over to him.

Guess what he did?

He pushed his little butt to the edge of the couch just like me, crossed his right leg over his left, and started rubbing that emery board over his fingers. I would have given anything if somebody had been able to take a picture of the two of us sitting there like that!

I lost it and busted out laughing.

Hubby looked up from over the computer this time and almost shit his pants. The look on his face was well worth the $5.98 I paid for that box of Revlon Press-On Nails. Naturally I got screamed at to "NOT LET THAT BOY DO THAT, WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY!?!"


I couldn't stop laughing and went about my business again. A2 thought it was funny too because he kept right on filing. He got bored with it after about 30 seconds but that was the best 30 seconds ever!

Needless to say hubby shut the computer, grabbed up some cars and told A2 to get down in the floor with him to play.

I'm guessing this preschool thing we've started A2 in will be good for him since it'll give him exposure to other people but if nothing else maybe my husband's life expectancy will increase if he thinks A2 will emulate me less after going up there a couple times a week.

(I doubt it.)

Thursday, September 13, 2007

All Ye of Little Faith

REPENT! (I'm really just talking to myself there.) Holy cow he did it! Last night after much fussin and cussin, a little finger nail polish remover and a few dabs of glue my husband managed to completely disassemble my iPod (again), replace the broken clicker wheel, put it all back together and it WORKED. Most amazing of all, there were no spare parts.

I have to totally apologize to him now for not believing he would ever pull this one off. So here goes:

Dear Honey, Sorry for making fun of you, er, I mean not having faith in you. You Rock. Love you. Now will you buy me the new 8GB red one already?!

Man that felt good!

Now I just have to decide which song I want to uncheck so that I can fit Britney's new Gimme More on it since it's completely full. I have 5.8 GB worth of music right now in my iTunes but only 3.68 will fit on my iAppendage.

Now that all most of the Britney bashing is dying down over her VMA performance I'm going to throw my two cents in because I didn't want to appear to be jumping on any bandwagons.

I watched her performance live and then had to go back and watch it at least two more times before I could give my proper assessment. My first reaction was, "oh, my goodness why is she wearing that!"

NOT BECAUSE SHE WAS FAT, but because I knew she was going to have hell to pay from the media. She was asking for that one to be served up on a silver platter. Here she is the little pop tart that has made a career out of being sexy with her rock hard abs and kick ass ass looking less than rock hard. Believe me, I would love to have the confidence it took to wear that outfit in front of millions of people and to look as good as she did in it but it wasn't a smart move on her part at all. She should know by now that people are brutal and would pounce.

As for the song, I obviously think it's a catchy little tune since I snagged it from Limewire last night in the hopes that my iPod would once again work.

The "dancing" blew. Again, here is someone that is known for her sexy dancing and well choreographed moves and she was faking her way through it. My initial comment about her dancing was that she was dancing like "Jessica." My husband didn't get that one either so I'll explain.

Before Jessica Simpson got revamped for her little Daisy Duke routine that girl danced like the stiffest white girl ever. I know you've seen black people make fun of how white people dance and that is exactly how Jessica danced when she first burst into the spotlight. It was almost painful to watch. That's how Britney was moving on Sunday night. Maybe she partied too hard, maybe she just didn't give a shit but whatever the reason it was apparent she was only giving about 10%.

I'm wondering if the whole thing was set up by MTV to have her fail miserably. Before the show was to even air all I heard was how Britney was going to make this smashing comeback with smoke and mirrors and magic and acrobatics. At the last minute they nixed it on her and made her redo the whole thing because the initial performance was too "dangerous and/or complicated." Well hell's bells, that would piss me off. Here she is preparing for one thing and they yank the rug out from under her. It's almost like they didn't really care about her so called comeback because they just secretly wanted to be the network that caught her final downfall on tape for the world to see.

That's really all I have to say about it. I feel sorry for her on the one hand because she's got some psychological issues going on that really need to be addressed not only for her boys sake but for her own good. On the other hand she perpetuates a lot of her issues and, being an adult of her own free will, has no one to blame but herself.

One last thing, if you watched her performance then answer me this: Am I the only one that thought she flashed her cooter? Hubs said I was crazy but I'm pretty sure that when she crouched down and was swinging her leg back and forth you could see at least a little bit of her cooter area. It could just be me since there hasn't been a firestorm about that in the media.

Just curious that's all.

I'm off to clean my closet out and listen to my iPod (w00t!). Have a happy Thursday.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Yo Crappa Crappa

My Internet service still isn't perfect but at least my last post made it through the weekend. It's so annoying to have to get up and shlep across the house to the playroom to unplug the router every time the stupid Internet decides to crap out on me. It's crapped out on me right now and I won't be able to publish this post until I go back there and reset it for the fourth time already today and I've only been online for about 30 minutes!!

So it was too good to be true, I started this post Tuesday morning at around 10 and here I sit again at about 6 p.m. trying to see if my damn Internet will connect up and the answer was no. Thank goodness I’m smart enough to copy and paste my work into WordPerfect so I can at least save my work. It's now 10 p.m. and I'm finally back online.

Arrrgh!! I’m so frustrated with Comcast right now I could scream!!!

ANYWAY, Guess who went to preschool yesterday??!! Yep, A2's first day was Monday and I'm pretty sure I took it harder than he did. Just so you know, A2 is not an early riser so for me to wake that child up at 8:45 and for him to be in good spirits helped start the morning off on a good note. I figured he would be a grumpy little bear cub but he surprised me.

I got him ready and tried to explain to him that I was taking him to school to play with kids. He'd repeat "scew" and showed a little excitement even. Only because he had no idea what I was talking about. We hit the door and got there at about 9:15, which is about 15 minutes before everybody else. I was hoping that by getting there early that he'd have his fit behind him before the other kids got there and he didn't freak them out. I'm thoughtful like that.

The lady met me at the counter and said it would be easier to just hand him over and go so I did. He reached for me and cried for about 10 seconds but once she went into the room and showed him the box full of cars and the mat to drive them on I was nothing more than a memory.

I hung around for about five more minutes to see if maybe he'd remember me but nope he didn't. I left and didn't really know what to do with myself. I haven't had alone time in.......forfreakingever!

So what did I do? Did I go shopping? Nope. Did I just come back and relax? Nope. Did I do anything at all just for me? Nope again. I straightened up my living room and bedroom then I cleaned my kitchen up and scrubbed my toilets and showers out. I took out the garbage and cleaned out the garbage can. I know. I'm so wild! The whole time I was missing my baby. What is wrong with me? I had two and a half hours all to myself to do whatever I wanted and I moped around missing my little shadow.

I left a little (ok, a lot) early so I could go pick him up and to hopefully get to spy on him just a little bit. It didn't really work out for me though because they were all in line coming back from the gym and he saw me so that backfired a bit. The teachers said he had a fantastic time and played really well with the cars. When we were leaving he pointed to the room they ate their snacks in and said "nack." Aww, my baby's a preschooler now. I was secretly hoping that he wouldn't like it and I could talk the husband into waiting until he was three to try it again.

He's here with me today but goes back again tomorrow. He only goes on Monday and Wednesday. I have a feeling I'll be able to enjoy tomorrow a lot more than I did yesterday as long as he takes to it as well as he did yesterday. I'm planning on going to the gym since I've totally bombed on working out this week. I haven't exercised since Friday and I'm feeling like crap on a stick right about now because of it.

In my defense I did have my "friend" drop in on me Sunday and who wants to work out while all that is going on? I'll tell you who doesn't and that's me! All weekend I wasn't even caring about that $25 iTunes card. I was way bitchier than normal over the weekend and completely exhausted for most of it even though I didn't do much at all. Matter of fact I spent the entire day Saturday in my pajamas. It was weird though because every time I would get up or try to stand in one place for longer than five minutes I would feel like I was going to pass out. I was hoping it would get me out of having to cook but that didn't work AT ALL. I could be in a friggin' coma and there'd be somebody around here bugging the hell out of me about what's for dinner.

Major potty training news to report right here in the middle of everything. I really need to work on my segues. A2 pooped on the big potty for the first time this weekend. w00t!! That was a major accomplishment. He was super proud of himself as were we. His dad of course takes full responsibility for getting him to do it. I'll let him have it.

Speaking of the crapper, want to hear how we avoided spending a minimum of $500 or so on our stupid septic tank? Sunday afternoon we were all sitting around in the living room when Hubs jumps up and says I hear the alarm going off downstairs. I had no freaking clue what he was talking about so I follow him down there. Turns out our septic tank has a pump on it that carries the waste down to another tank. (Complicated but that's what I understand it to do.) If the pump goes out the alarm sounds to let you know that it needs to be fixed otherwise the backyard is about thisclose to becoming a massive shithole. WHAT.FUN.

He silenced the alarm and everyone was put on water restrictions until we figured out what we were going to do. Monday morning he called the septic guy and he says that judging by what hubs was saying our pump has gone out and we have to have it replaced. That's about $300 itself but before that can be replaced they would have to bring some huge ass truck out to our backyard and completely pump all the shit out of our tank. About another $250 he was guessing. He also threw in the fact that it could cost more if something else is the cause of the problem. This is just the "best case scenario," geez that's great!

Well, they were supposed to be here yesterday afternoon but they never called which I am sooo glad that they didn't because despite the bitching I like to do about my husband, he's a pretty smart guy and pretty freaking handy to have around (unless he's trying to fix your iPod). He woke up this morning, apparently with shit on the brain, (sorry) and decided to go try something out downstairs. He had the brilliant thought that the problem could just be that there isn't any electricity getting out there to the pump and sure enough after trying out several different things THAT was the real problem.

Apparently our swimming pool pump had kicked a breaker or something or another out there and all it took was hub resetting everything. After about 10 minutes the alarm light had gone off and the pump had pumped everything down to where it needed to be. He managed to figure all of that out on his own and thankfully didn't have to disassemble anything thank goodness. I don't think I could find a Glad bag big enough for the left over parts from that.

How lucky was that though!!! Not only did we skirt having to shell out more than $500 I can go back to whining and begging for a new iPod. Yes, I'm full aware of the fact that I'm about as shallow as our freaking septic tank but who the hell cares, my iPod is broken (pretty much)!! Besides, I didn't say one word about it yesterday. I figured having a place to shit won out over listening to tunes. Just sayin'.

I've seriously got to cut this off here. Have you seen that show on Nick called Yo Gabba Gabba? If not then, let me warn you to never.ever. watch it. It ranks up there with the intelligence level of those damn Wonder Pets but this show scares the shit out of A2 when it comes on. He cries until I find the remote and change it.

Here's a picture of the crew.

Scary stuff man. They all start the show by shouting Yo Gabba Gabba over and over again. Who can blame the little guy for being scared?!

Ok, I've got to post this quick and keep my fingers crossed there aren't any huge mistakes because I'm afraid I won't have time to edit before the Internet goes down on me again. (That was funny and I didn't even mean it to be.)

I'll keep my fingers crossed that tomorrow it'll be better and I can give a report of A2's second day at preschool, the progress of my iPod since my part came in and how I tried to break the co-sleeping habit Monday night but husband came in and shit all over my efforts.