Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I Need A New Blog Name and Possibly A Drink

This whole notion I had of posting every day now that I have a new computer has lasted about as long as a fart in a windstorm. When I made the comment about posting every day, little did I know that my days would be too full to do that.

What are my days full of that keeps me from taking a few minutes to myself and pounding out a quick blog entry?

Well for one, I'm in the midst of potty training a two year old that needs to "bee pee" every five freaking seconds and half the time when I get him in there he decides that "naw" don't need to "bee pee".

Arrrgh!! Bear in mind that now I have completely stripped him down because he seems to have this "George Costanza thing" about using the bathroom. I'll never understand why he has to take all of his clothes off just to take a two second whiz. But since he's now changed his mind and no longer wants to go, I have to chase his little naked butt all over the house just to get his diaper back on him.

Is it wrong that I've ignored him a couple of times when he's said he needs to go "bee pee"? If so, who gives a shit!!

Not only am I doing that but since I bought him the movie Cars last week he has become obsessed with all things Cars. (Curse you Disney!!) I've gone from never seeing this blasted movie before six days ago to having had the pleasure of either viewing it or hearing it blaring in the background about 15 bazillion times.

Heaven forbid it takes me longer than a freaking nanosecond to restart the thing once it goes off. He doesn't even watch it half the time, he just want to HEAR it while he's playing with his two cases of matchbox cars that he's now dumped in the middle of the living room floor that he NEVER can figure out how to get back into the cases. I handle those cars at least three to four times a day picking them up for him to just dump out again.

Only good thing about Cars going in the background......I'm getting a break from Spongebob and Toy Story. I've contemplated hiding the Toy Story DVD just for my own sanity. It's not that I don't like Toy Story, it's actually one of my favorite Disney movies ever, but keep in mind that it came out close to 10 years ago and right around that time A1 was about 2 and had to watch it over and over and over and freaking over way back then. I can't tell you how many times I've seen it! Now it's A2's turn and he seems to love "Buugg" and "Woowoo" just as much as his brother did.

Yay 4 me!

So let me go back to the whole Cars obsession thing A2 has going on right now though. Saturday afternoon the husband came home from his week long work trip and since it wasn't over 150 degrees I decided to let A2 play outside since it's been forever that we've had the chance. He started running around and was actually proud of himself for "running so fast". Only problem with that, according to his father, was that he was **gasp** barefooted.

{Insert lecture on how I shouldn't let that baby run around all over the place with no shoes here. He could step on something, it makes his feet filthy, he needs support, it hurts him when he drags his toes on the pavement, blah blah blah.}

I told the husband that he doesn't enjoy wearing shoes and when he does, he only likes to wear his Spongebob crocs and they don't make for very good running. That didn't register with him at all.

So what do we do? We load up and go to Wal-Mart. Why. Because it's been a whole week since my husband crossed their threshold and was starting to go into withdrawals. He'd never admit to that though. We didn't need anything but he just wanted to go.

While we were there he wandered over to the shoe department to "just measure" A2's feet. "It'll only take a second."

Yeah right.

Needless to say A2 came out of there with a new pair of shoes that look like little race cars because naturally the Disney Cars characters were everywhere in that freaking shoe aisle.

I'm cool with it though because he loves his new shoes but he also loves to make me put them on him and then about five minutes later take them off. It's a vicious cycle. He wants them on. He wants them off, ad nauseam. He isn't coordinated enough yet to do it by himself so if I don't do it RIGHT THEN he isn't happy (read: pitches a bitch fit).

So that's how I spend the majority of my time now, going to "bee pee" and putting "Cars sheews o0n" and taking them "ouff". Ah the monotony that is my life!

But don't feel sorry for me. I manage to do a few other things too like changing the bed sheets for the second time in as many days because SOMEONE spilled milk in the middle of my bed while chasing the cat.

I also get to clean up cat puke since she's officially freaked the fuck out from being chased by a toddler that enjoys sneaking up behind her and squealing at the top of his lungs. Plus, he's figured out that if he catches her in just the right position he can actually PICK.HER.UP.

Talk about squeeing with delight! He loves her so much and wants to tote her around so bad that every chance he gets to get her even a millimeter off the ground he is so proud of himself. Poor Jess, I swear if we had lower ceilings I'm convinced she'd be hanging upside down off of it shivering with her hair standing on end like Claude the cartoon cat on Looney Tunes.

Matter of fact, I've included this short clip to give you an idea of what goes on around here involving A2 and the cat. Keep in mind the likenesses have been changed to protect the "innocent". Jesse will be portrayed by Claude the cat and A2 will be portrayed by Frisky the pup.


In between all of that I SOMEHOW manage to find the time to pull out some chicken nuggets out of the freezer to microwave for mister "I only eat things drenched with sugar" that I'm sure will either get tossed in the trash, eaten by his brother or batted around on the floor by the cat.

So if you check back on a daily basis and don't find any recent posts, pray for me because I'm probably THISCLOSE to losing my freaking mind!!