Monday, June 23, 2008

Insert Funny Title Here

I'm guessing it's really not that big of a deal to some of you out there but today when I stepped up on the scale it said.....136.5. That's right. It may not be that big of a deal to some but to me that's frickin' awesome!! Of course the scale was fucking with me a little bit and dipped down to 135 for like a split second. Just long enough to get my hopes up but it decided to settle around the 136.5 to 136.6 mark. Meh, I'll take it.

That means I'm within 11 pounds of my ultimate goal and I can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm already starting to feel so much better and it doesn't hurt my eyes as much as it use to when I would look in the mirror. I was watching this show last night by Dr. Oz (read: Oprah's bitch) and he said that women need to strive for a waist that is no larger that 32 inches in order to be healthy. Men need to strive for 35. He was working with four people trying to get their weight under control. It was pretty interesting. Of course the husband and I had to immediately break out the measuring tape and see where we fell.

I was right at 32 with sucking in because that's what he made them do and the husband was at 34. He's lost a lot of weight and looks good in his clothes. I can tell they are no longer cutting him in half when he tries to button them up and some of them are actually falling off of him. I'm pretty proud of him for all his hard work. It's actually motivated me more than he knows to get up off my lazy ass. I can't let him be better than me at something. That just wouldn't be right! Right now I've got on a pair of size 8 Old Navy Bermuda shorts that I haven't been able to button in a long ass while and they went up and on without any problem at all. I can even stick my fingers in the waistband. Yay, me!

Ok, I'm done tooting my own horn for now.

Went home for the weekend on Friday and have to say we had a very fun time. My parents wanted my boys and my nephew to stay with them for the weekend alone so they could all bond and do fun stuff without us breathing down their necks. It's the first time A2 has ever spent the night away from both of us and only the second time I've even spent a night without him. After we all ate breakfast and went our separate ways they took the boys to the zoo, to play putt-putt, and to ride go-carts. After they got home they all made S'mores. How cool is that?

While all of this was going on the husband and I had nothing to do so we decided to go to the movies after doing a little window shopping and looking at houses in the area for his brother. We got to the movies at around 3:15 in the afternoon and didn't leave the movie theater until 2:20 in the morning. Yep, you read that right. We spent over 11 hours at the movies!

We watched Indiana Jones at 3:30 - It was pretty good. I was hoping for a lot more adventure but since Harrison Ford has got to be pushing 80 he did alright for his age. The story was a bit predictable but I enjoyed it. After that I got my way and we went to see Sex and the City. The husband was one of only about five men in the whole theater but he liked it. I thought they did a really good job. I was a little disappointed that they didn't give Stanford that big of a part but the rest was pretty good. There were some very funny parts. It would have been about 10 times better if they had thrown in a little bit of Aidan for me to look at but oh well. I was just thrilled to finally get to see it. It's on my To Buy list (read: Can Someone Please Buy This For Me?!) as soon as it comes out.

After that we went and watched Ironman. Let me just say that I have loved Robert Downey, Jr. for a very long time. I fell in love with him in Less than Zero and even though he went through a rough spell with all that drug stuff I still loved him. Crack heads need love too. After seeing this movie, I'd give up room in my closet for him if he wanted me too. Hell, I'd let him have an entire shelf on my side if he wanted it. He rocked as Ironman. Good story, good acting, good looking, just plain good. Those big brown eyes of his gives me goose bumps. After I got my feel of lusting over him in that movie we decided what the hell, we'd hit one more. It was only midnight and all we were going to do was go back to the house and sit around anyway.

It was between Get Smart and The Incredible Hulk so we went to see The Hulk. I hated the first Hulk. It was stupid and the kid who played it, Eric Bana, just didn't do it for me. I thought Jennifer Connelly was about the best thing that movie had going for it. That girl is hot, I don't care what you say! The new Bruce Banner/Incredible Hulk was Edward Norton and even though he has this nerdy quality about him he's pretty hot himself and pulled it off pretty well. The story was decent and the fact that they brought in another creature to fight him was pretty good. Also Lou Ferrigno (the original Incredible Hulk 'case you didn't know) made an appearance in this one and that man doesn't look like he's aged AT ALL. Added bonus: Robert Downey, Jr.'s character from Ironman makes an appearance at the end for a little bit of a cherry on top.

We ate nachos and popcorn, drank our weight in Diet Coke and I devoured an entire $3 box of Milk Duds by myself, except for one that I grudgedly let the husband have, and had a blast. We'll definitely have to do it again. Especially now that I know A2 and myself can make it through the night without being stuck right next to one another. I can't remember the last time the husband and I have spent that much time alone together.

We got home yesterday afternoon and as if the movie diet wasn't bad enough we ordered Papa John's and it was yum-my! Needless to say I had to drag myself downstairs to the treadmill but after going for 3 miles I felt great. I was given the first season of I Love Lucy for Christmas this year and decided to crack it open last night while I was running. After watching the first couple of episodes I learned something about myself that is somewhat disturbing.....apparently I'm pretty whorey because I have to say I would have let Desi Arnaz bang out Babaloo on my ass cheeks and thoroughly enjoyed it. Have you ever really stopped to consider the fact that he was a pretty damn good looking man and was pretty damn good with him hands?

One last thing: Found out today that George Carlin had died over the weekend. Very sad news. That guy was funny. If you go over to YouTube and type in his name a lot of funny stuff will pop up. You don't have to agree with him but if you have an open mind and just listen to him he'll have you rolling!

Here's his infamous Seven Words:

Edited to add: What the hell is up with Blogger going down and wiping out my entire post before I can even save it?? I swear the post I wrote before this one was full of smart sassy wit and brilliant insight.

Since it didn't get saved and I had to start over from scratch this is the best you get under the circumstances.

Days without making an Old Navy or any other clothing type purchase for me or A2: 23

Monday, June 16, 2008


So, I've been organizing. What've you been doing?

Oh guess what? The brother-in-law came up to spend the weekend. They have a Wii Fit and I'm officially jealous and WANT ONE SO BAD!! Have you tried this thing? It was so much fun and guess who was the ONLY one over 13 and in the NORMAL BMI range....that would be me!!

I've discovered that yoga just might be my thing...hula hooping, not so much.

You may not hear from me for a day or ten because I'm going to tackle the play room starting tomorrow. I'll try to do some before and after shots so you can see just what's going on in there. It isn't pretty.

I didn't think I was ever going to get through A2's room but I did and it looks so fabulous in there. There is so much extra room in his closet right now that I'm seriously thinking about taking my book that I'm almost finished reading and hiding out in there. NOBODY would ever think to look for me in there....muuhhahahaha.

My yard sale holding area is filling up with junk fast and I've still got a long time to go and a lot of shit to sort through! Saturday the husband went through and actually decided to part with some of his older than dirt clothes and I was so proud of him. I seriously considered flashing him, with the good boob no less (shut up, you know you got one that looks better than the other), while he was down there working but decided against it. He didn't need the distraction and I didn't need him pawing all over me since we were expecting the family to roll in any minute.

I've got to go work out now. I didn't do it on Friday after I swore that I would. Real shocker there huh? It has to count for something that I've been working my ass off around here and not sitting on the couch or am I reaching on that one? I played on the Wii Fit for over an hour on Saturday night. I know that has to count for something. My calf "muscles?" were so sore all day yesterday and even some today. Matter of fact, my right one is still pretty darn sore right now. I've either been that active or I'm that out of shape. We don't have to hash it out right now.

Oh well, I ain't going to lose those last 13 pounds just by wishing them away. Have a good week if I don't make it back!

Friday, June 13, 2008's overrated

Excuse me, can you tell me where this ENTIRE week has gotten off to because it can't be Friday again already? Time flies when you're being productive. Who would have ever thought that!

I have spent this entire week, well except for most of the day on Monday when I went and hung out with Friend 1, cleaning out and organizing stuff and the sad thing is that it's all been in one room...mine. Never in my dreams would I have thought we had so much crap shoved here and there and everywhere in that one area of our house. I've decided that my husband's packrattery has rubbed off on me and that is not acceptable. I'm on top of it now and all that shoving shit all over just to get it out of site is so over. Memba when I said something about finding Old Navy bags in the closet, well I found more under the bed, in my nightstand, in my panty drawer and even a couple shoved under my armour. I even found a couple that had a Gap or an Aeropostale bag stuffed inside it. It felt good to throw all of that out along with about a zillion other things I no longer needed.

July 26th is the date I've picked for my Yard Sale. I have to be held accountable now too because I sent out an email soliciting my neighbors to join me and several have already committed. I can't peter out like I've been known to do in the past when I get something started. This yard sale thing is a must. So now - It's officially on! The neighbors are even talking about having a BBQ afterwards. My cleaning the house is snowballing into a major neighborhood event. Love it.

I'm going into A2's room today and then on to the playroom. That's the room I am dreading like the plague. I'm pretty certain we have saved every single toy we have ever purchased for A1 in his 13 years of life and the last 8 years worth are in there. I'm starting to see a pattern of excess in just about everything we do. You'd think with all the toys we have of A1's that we wouldn't have to ever buy A2 anything but that wouldn't fit into our sickness. Buying A2 53 of the individual Cars the Movie cars is more like it and now that he is into Thomas the Tank we've bought him 8 engines so far and we're looking for Henry and Gordon because those are the two he says he "needs" now. Really all I'm doing is clearing out and making room for more junk. I'm starting to think a trip to see Dr. Phil is in our future.

Gah, I just went back and read what I've written so far and I must say it's not even remotely interesting. I can feel my readership dwindling as I continue to type but since I'm already this far into it I may as well keep going!

I'mma talk about something else now beside my clutter! I've stuck to taking my pills on a daily basis quite nicely. I think I've only forgotten once and had to take one about an hour and a half later than I usually take them. Still no real side effects which makes me very happy. I did forget to take a vitamin on Wednesday of this week and when I took one on Thursday I did notice that it make me feel a little nauseous but nothing serious.

Went and had my teeth cleaned yesterday and I have to say I hate that with the force of a thousand tidal waves. It's not that I don't like going to the dentist it's just that I hate going to this guy. He's the ONLY dentist that is covered in our plan so it's him or nothing. You're suppose to go every six months and I usually make it once a year just because this fucker is rough. He has no concept whatsoever of being gentle when he is scraping that thing around your teeth and the flossing is brutal. He flossed my teeth yesterday and I swear it wasn't til about 9 last night that my damn teeth stopped being sore. His roughness isn't really the worst of it either, I can live with the pain. The worst part is that he insists on sitting with his legs spread eagle while bent over peering into my mouth that his pecker is no less than about a centimeter from my ear and when he leans in to look up top I swear he's rubbing his junk across my shoulder. Turn sideways you assbag, you'll get the same view! My husband swears he never does that when he goes and I begged him to go with me yesterday but he had to travel to one of the sub offices and couldn't do it.

Father's day is coming up and I'm torn between getting something for my husband or being stubborn and not doing anything at all. Nope, I'm not mad at him for anything it's just that for Mother's day he didn't even say Happy Mother's Day to me and I didn't get a gift "from" A2. Not because he was being an ass or anything but because he seriously doesn't think about doing stuff like that. He isn't big into giving gifts and constantly tells us not to get stuff for him. So, I don't know what to do. He's weird.

We put our pool up last weekend so we'll probably just hang out around here this weekend and grill some burgers. I'll get in the pool now because it's still clear and the water hasn't turned to sludge. We've got one of those pools that looks like a witches pot and after the first month it's no longer fun and more like a health hazard to get into the stupid thing. We try to keep it cleaned and the chemicals in it but it never fails to get down right gross after that first little bit. Something about stepping into a giant slime pit just doesn't do it for me.

I put my bikini on last weekend and although it didn't look pretty it didn't look as bad as it has (read: didn't make me want to hurl my entire days worth of food into the toilet and the sides didn't wedge themselves so deep into my hips that it took the jaws of life to remove it). I haven't worked out at all this week. I've been so busy cleaning up and doing other stuff that I'm exhausted by the time I would normally go down there and opt out every time. I don't feel too bad about it though because since I've actually been doing stuff this week I've still managed to maintain my 138. It sucks that it's not going down but I'm going to go down there today no matter what. I need the stress relief if nothing else. I've just got to figure out a balance between cleaning, playing with the kids, entertaining the husband, sitting on my ass AND trying to workout. What I need to do is whip out my highlighters and create a chart. I've got just enough OCD in me that if I create something color coded then I'll stick to it. I'm weird.

Here's something I just want to test out on whoever is reading this. I'm hosting a Pampered Chef catalog party and if you are interested you can email me and I could send you the link. The good thing about it is that you don't have to give ME any of YOUR personal information. You just place an order directly through the site and they ship it out to you. I've got it set up through one of my MOPS (moms of preschoolers) friends so no one would get MY personal information either. The more people that place an order the better chance I get to snag some free stuff. Right now I get nothing free because although I've had a couple of super awesome people place an order, out of 86 only 4 have done it. It's open until the 30th I think.

I'm off to get more done. It actually makes me feel good to see my progress even though no one else in this household appreciates it. My goal for the day is to put the finishing touches on my room, clean out A2's room, organize the pantry, and watch at least two episodes of season five of Charmed since they FINALLY made it around to it during the afternoons on TNT. I had seen every episode through season four and have been checking and checking for when they would come to season five since it was apparent my sister in law wasn't going to chuck out for the next few seasons on DVD. I'm actually almost at the end of season five because I think season six starts next week. This series is definitely going on the Christmas list. I love it.

I'm not one to go out and buy a lot of series but the ones I have I watch them over and over and love them so much. I can't justify buying it to only watch it once and be done with it. I own the complete Sex and the City and have watched it at least three times all the way through. I own all but the last Seinfeld and have watched it twice. I just got Will and Grace and I'm going to start on it as soon as I can find a free minute. I haven't gotten all of them though. I've got seasons 1-3 and then 5-6. I can't find season four and I'm too cheap to pay $30 for season seven. I'll get that one when they put it on sale or ask for it for my birthday. I'm really not watching that much TV these days because there just isn't anything on. I'm still patiently waiting for Big Brother to start and whenever I work out I usually catch up on the Real World then. Right now Charmed is all I have to look forward to.

Enjoy your Friday the 13th - I'm not very superstitious so it's just another day to me. But since I'm refusing to go back and proofread this, don't make me sic my friend here on you for making fun of all my mistakes!!

Who wouldn't shit their pants if they saw this guy coming towards them??!!

Friday, June 6, 2008

"And Knowing Is Half The Battle"


My name is DeeDee....

and apparently I have a fucking shopping addiction!

Drugs of choice - Old Navy, Gap, The Limited, and apparently at one time Ralph Lauren and Guess.

If you can seriously point me to the nearest shopaholics anonymous I would greatly appreciate it. I may be a few minutes late because I would need to stop off and grab a cute shirt to wear but I'd look good for my entry and probably only pay $2 for it because if I'm nothing else I'm at least a bargain shopper! Never ever ever pay full price for something when it will be on sale in less than two weeks. (That's for you Friend 1!)

Back on track, I have never in my life seen so many freaking clothes and I'm not even kidding. Sad thing is, I'm only talking about clothes that I own and not everybody else that dwells beneath this roof. About the only person who comes close to owning as many clothes as I do in this house is A2 and that is of no fault of his own. A1 would have been close in the running but he yelled at me a couple of years ago for buying him clothes all the time so now I only buy for him when he goes with and that is once in a blue moon because he HATES to go shopping with me. Can't understand why?! Ungrateful cuss!

I've gone through so much stuff that I'm sitting here pretty much ashamed of the amount of money, albeit nothing was bought at full price, I've spent for really no good reason. I've gone through clothes that I've hung on to for YEARS but they still look brand new because I like to think I take good care of my stuff but my husband says they look brand new because I probably only wore each outfit once before trotting out to buy a new one or it got lost in the shuffle of everything else and I forgot about even having it.

Don't you dare tell him I said this but maybe he's on to something. I know for a fact that I folded up at least two or three shirts and skirts that I've never had on my body other than when I brought them home to try on because I hate dressing rooms. I folded up a couple pairs of shorts that I bought at the peak of my fat assedness in the size that I wished I was at the time and I've yet to squeeze the caboose into them yet. I'm close though, prolly another couple pounds and I can actually wear them but that's not the point. The point is I bought them at the time when I knew I couldn't wear them and that was just stupid even though they may have only cost $5 or less.

If I had a table set up with nothing but tank tops and t-shirts for sale right now and sold each one for $1 I would be sitting on no less than $300 and I haven't even cleaned off the shelf in my closet or the two drawers in my bedroom yet. This crap came out of a mule chest and out of drawers in the bedroom downstairs. Downstairs! Where I would never go to get a shirt to wear! My bed is currently littered with the the first bit of t-shirts that I have to go through today and I'm looking at at least a good couple hours just folding them all because all I did was rake them off the shelf and toss them on the bed. It took about six trips from the bed to the closet to get them all in there.

All kidding aside, I'm pretty sure I do have a serious underlying problem that compels me to shop for shit I don't need. I know for a fact that I do it whenever I'm pissed at the husband, whenever I'm feeling fat and ugly, whenever I'm stressed, whenever Friend 1 or Friend 2 calls to say they are going, whenever I see a SALE dot in the window, whenever I get my free $10 coupon and definitely whenever I get my Stuff and Save bag. This can pretty much be summed up as every single time I get into my car and leave my house.

Sad thing is that I know I've hidden some of my purchases from the husband because while pulling all of my 1,000 pairs of jeans off of the tall shelf in the closet I found at least 6 Old Navy bags wadded up and stuffed either in between pairs or behind a stack. What is the deal? He will ask me if something I have on is new and I can more than likely stretch the truth and say no because while it may technically be new in the fact that I haven't worn it before, I more than likely purchased it a month or so ago and crammed it in with the rest of my stuff.

I do the same thing with stuff for A2. I buy him t-shirts and wait at least a few weeks before I put them on him and when asked if they are new I say can say nope he's had it a while and feel no shame in that. Gah, I feel dirty just admitting all this shit.

I'm also feeling a little panicky too because now I'm going to feel guilty the next time I go into Old Navy because admitting you have a problem is the first step. Check. Done that. Continuing to do the same thing in the hopes of a different result is just insane. Ooh, here's where I may be in trouble. Is it possible for me to drive by Old Navy and not pull into the parking lot? Could I possibly walk in and just browse without making a single purchase, kind of like weaning myself off? I'm going to have to do something though. This is ridiculous!

I wish I were exaggerating but I'm really not.

Here's my challenge to myself. Listen up self: Since my last purchase at Old Navy was when we went out to visit the new 'hood (and sadly it is STILL in the bag - shows how much I didn't need it) I have not been back. I am going to challenge myself to NOT GO INSIDE OLD NAVY or GAP FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH OF JUNE. I did go into Gap this past Sunday and spend $27 but that was on a baby gift for the lady next door who just had the cutest little baby girl on the planet! I didn't buy anything for myself or A2.

But anyway, I need NOTHING. A2 needs NOTHING. A1 can manage (especially if he just washes his fucking dirty clothes already!!). Besides, he doesn't shop Old Navy or Gap anymore, and the husband still wears his shit from 1987 so there is NO REASON WHATSOEVER for me to go inside either place or spend one red cent.

Can I do it? I don't know, I feel the jitters setting in right now so it's seriously going to be hard!

What can I reward myself with?

A shopping spree to Old, wait, fuck, how 'bout a great big WAY TO GO for not being Old Navy's bitch for once!

**Edited to add: I've put off folding the t-shirts for now and opted to do the jeans/capri/shorts first and it's pretty apparent that if it comes in army green and has fucking cargo pockets on it somewhere...I own it. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. **

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

It Could Be Worse

So, we made the journey out to the possible new 'hood at the end of last week and stayed a couple of days to get a feel for the area. I'll have to admit it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be and aside from the ass corns I got from the long ride out there it seemed like a place I could get use to living in. It didn't look much different from any other small town and it even looked like they had been working on building it up over the past couple of years and were still making improvements from all the construction that was taking place.

It even looked like the boys and I could still be able to go in and meet the husband for lunch on just about any given day that we wanted to without having to drive through a major metropolis which is a definite plus since we are able to do that where we are now and could never do it when we lived in D.C. or Atlanta. Have you tried to drive around in either of those cities? It's not pretty and definitely not worth it just to meet somebody for a quick lunch!

We left Thursday afternoon at a little before lunch because we had to watch A1 graduate from the 8th grade. Got to admit, that was pretty sad for me. I don't remember giving him permission to grow up so fast. I'm thinking about grounding him for the next five or so years just so I can keep him from becoming a full-fledged man. Hell, he's already taller than I am and I'm not really loving having to look up to reprimand my own child. Something about it screams, "no leverage" to me but oh well.

A2 was so proud of his brother even though he had no idea what was going on. He just knew Bubba was out there sitting in one of those chairs and that he (A2) got to take his pictures with Mom's camera. As a side note: The pictures that the baby took were about 10x better than the ones the husband took. The husband's pictures were dark and you could hardly make out what was going on and the baby's pictures were bright and you could actually see A1 in them. It'll be a while before the husband lives that one down. I live to find stuff to rag him about.

Back to the trip, it took us at least 8 hours to get out there and that's with all the stopping to get gas and a quick trip through the drive thru. If we do move out there it would take us no less than that each and every time we wanted to come in to see our family. Not looking forward to that one bit. The interview went well according to the husband though and he seemed to be pretty impressed with the facilities. He dropped the car off with me and the boys around lunchtime so he could go eat with the head honchos and we could get out and explore a little instead of sitting and waiting for him in the hotel. We managed to find our way around pretty good and this is saying a LOT coming from the least directionally inclined person you will ever know. We got us something to eat and also happened across the most awesomest Old Navy ever! No kidding. It was huge. I knew he was having lunch with the main crew but had to call him anyway just to let him know that I'd found heaven and they were going to get some of our money. The upper management guy got a good chuckle out of it anyway.

The lay out to this glorious Old Navy was different from what I'm use to and it threw me for a little bit of a loop but they had so much stuff and so many clearance sections that I was ready to throw down stakes right there. Needless to say I came out of there with either my one and only cute outfit from the new possible 'hood or my first of many. Won't know til the middle of July.

Another thing I noticed about the area was that they had a lot of behavioral health places that I could possibly find gainful employment at if I choose to go back to work once the munchkin goes to kindergarten. That is if we stay out there that long. I could certainly see promise in the area even though A1 sulked the entire time and was totally against even pretending to think about the possibility of living there. But no sense in dwelling on it. If it's meant to be we'll be moving and if it isn't we won't. I'm just glad we went out and at least got to look around. Life goes on here until we hear otherwise.

Oh. Ooh. Guess who went to the doctor today for her follow up from starting the pill and had lost a grand total of five (5!!) pounds?? Yep. That would be me. Woofreakinhoo! Can I get a high five on that one! The little bitty thing that took me back slid the weight thing over to where it read previously on my chart and had to back it up five whole places. She said I went from 146 to 141 since my last visit on May 5. I wanted to pick her up and squeeze her but I still had about 90 good pounds on her and probably would have snapped her in two so I didn't! Seriously though, five pounds! May not sound like much to some of you but to the big girl sitting here on the couch who has struggled and struggled to make the damn scale go down for a good three years now it sounds pretty damn good!

My ultimate goal is to see 125. I don't care if I only see it for a split second I just want to see it one more time. After that if I don't get over 130 I'll be happy as a clam. I started using my Bowflex machine last night again for the first time in a good few months. I'm pretty sure the mistake I've made with that stupid thing in the past is that I've tried to over do it right from the get go. I want that washboard stomach and rock hard ass that I see on that chick in the poster and figure that if I set the weight to a higher amount that I'll get it quicker. Wrong. All it does is cause me to burn out and want to set the thing at the end of the driveway for the first bum to come by and take it home with them.

Last night I was sensible and I set the weight to 30 lbs on each side and while I must admit it didn't feel like I was hardly moving anything at all I stuck with it and went through an entire workout routine. I did a total of 30 reps for each exercise listed on the poster and today I have to admit I feel it a little. Not anything that makes me cringe when I move because I actually went to help a lady paint her living room today and my arms weren't too sore to move but I could definitely tell I'd used them more than normal yesterday.

We'll see. I'm going to try real hard to stick to using it three times a week but still workout on the off days and even do my cardio on the days I do use the Bowflex. I really want to grab that brass ring before the end of the summer! Where my cheerleaders at?

Next project I've got to tackle, aside from preventing my teenage son from sleeping until 2 in the afternoon every day now that school is out, is to go through all of these closets and give away all those old ass clothes nobody wants anymore or also what I like to refer to as those that my fat ass isn't fitting into ever again in this life time but I keep hanging on to them in the hopes that I just might one day or ones I just keep around to remind me of the fact that I use to not be such a fat ass. However you'd like to refer to them. They just got to go. I seriously pulled out a pair of khaki cargo shorts on Sunday afternoon from the depths of my closet that were a size 2. HA. A size 2. I'm pretty sure A2 could have worn them and the farthest they would go up on me right now it to the top of my kneecaps and I'm still hanging on to them for WHAT reason??

I put that little task on my list of stuff I wanted to accomplish in 60 days a few months ago and as you can see it didn't get done but I also didn't call my mother in law three times in 60 days but I admitted up front that that was going to be one hard ass thing to accomplish and not to place bets on that one. I'll have to admit the last time that I was around her she was actually a little more pleasant than normal but not so much that it prevents me from still referring to her in my head as "She Who Inflicts Misery Simply By Breathing." But I digress.

I'm trying to decide if I want to have a yard sale or if it would be better to just box it all up and give it away. I'm so lazy that I can't see myself putting a price on every single item we would have so it would have to be set out on price designated tables but on the other hand if I decide to give it all away the husband is CONVINCED that I have to make an itemized list of every single thing we give away with an estimated value on it for tax purposes. Who is he fucking kidding? Has he even met me? I'm thinking that if the yard sale thing is a definite no then I'm going to be slowly slipping shit out in boxes or trash bags on a daily basis and severely cutting down the itemized list he is do dead set on having me create. Please tell me I'm not the only lazy ass out there. I know I can't be the only one.

One more thing that I'm sure none of you will care about before I'm off to rifle through dark dank closets - there is a new I Love Lucy Barbie doll out and I'm chomping at the bit to get my hands on her! I've gotten all but three of them and I'd have those three but can't see myself paying through the nose for them just yet (greedy bastards!). Good news is that the new doll is based on the same premise of one of the older ones that I don't have and it's making the original one sell for much cheaper on eBay now. The new one has both Lucy and Ethel in the box and it's called Job Switching. It's based on the episode where they were working in the candy factory and shoving chocolates in their mouth. The original Job Switching doll featured just Lucy and I'm 'bout to head over to eBay right now to see if I can find one for under $30 to no more than $40 so maybe the closets will have to wait until tomorrow.

Damn, I hate that too. Oh well, I lost five pounds beyotches, I think I deserve a little sitting on the (at least getting a little smaller) ass time and even if I don't deserve it I'mma take it anyway.