Friday, April 20, 2007

I'll miss you brain cells

I'm not 100% positive but I'm pretty sure I did something this week that has severely cost me and my family a couple dozen brain cells. I went to Wal-Mart this week just browsing around. Unless I go in there for something specific it is so dangerous for me (and the hubby's wallet) to kill time alone in there. Every aisle has something on it I either need outright or after seeing it realize that I needed it without even knowing it. I started on one end of the store and worked my way all the way through to the other side. I'm smart enough to start on the toy side since A2 always likes to grab something new and exciting to play with while we shop, but it magically seems to disappear somewhere between point A and the register, usually somewhere in the bread section. **Sorry about that poor Wal-Mart stocker person**

The other day I didn't really have to worry about that because A2 fell asleep in the buggy. Luckily for me I had the floppy seat (a serious must have for all mothers) and I successfully transferred him from sitting on the floppy in the front section to the inside of the buggy with the floppy spread out for him to lay on. I'm super mom sometimes! Some lady stood and watched me in awe while I moved him without so much of a whimper. Because he was sound asleep, this gave me MORE time to browse around. I even turned around and went back down a couple of aisles I only skimmed.

Long story short, I went down the air freshener aisle to see what was new over there. I use to be obsessed with how my house smelled because I didn't want people to think it smelled like dirty laundry and cat crap. I bought candles like a crazy person and had them burning at all times back in the day. That quickly went away when A2 came along for two reasons, one being I didn't want to risk falling asleep with a candle burning since I was getting zero hours sleep when he first came home and would try to crash whenever he closed his eyes, even for a quick second.

Secondly, because I'm sick of finding candles I thought I'd thrown away but my husband dug out of the trash behind my back. He seriously does that. I hate it when I burn the stupid candle all the way down to the side and of course it will no longer stay lit but there is still half a freaking candle glommed to the side of the jar. Why can't I buy a candle that burns down normally?!! He digs them out of the trash with the brilliant idea that he can melt it down or some bullshit like that to be able to use the rest of the candle or to make a new one out of the scraps. (I'm not joking.) Let's see, we've been together for umpteen years and he has YET to do that one time.

Anyway, I was doing some spring cleaning last week or so and found about half a dozen of the Air Wick receptacles that you plug into the wall and as I was looking around in WM remembered them so I bought four refills. I got home, pryed the old bottles out of the holders and plugged the new ones into the wall. It took about five minutes for A1 to notice and I was elated! My house is going to smell wonderful for the first time in a LONG time!

Mistake number 1: Plugging in four at once within very close proximity
Mistake number 2: Setting them all to full blast, overkill is my middle name
Mistake number 3: Placing one directly behind the couch

Do you know how strong these things are? I was trying to watch television last night and the inside of my left nostril was on fire!! My eyes were burning and watering like crazy it was so strong! I had to move the one from behind the couch to another room altogether. I asked A1 if they were bothering him and he said he was immune to it by now. What?! How can anybody be immune to a four alarm nostril fire and insanely watery eyes! I'm convinced they were so strong that the effects of them were close to the same thing you'd get from huffing paint from a brown paper sack.

As of now, Air Wicks are spread further apart from one another and turned to a much lower setting. They should put a warning on those things.

Guess what?? I'm over 1000 hits! Woohoo for me.

Hi JS - thanks for reading!
MFP - you crack me up :-)