Nasally is a form of singing.......

Yeah, well, Chris Richardson, so is shitty and that's pretty much what you pull off every week. Can you believe he actually said that nasally is a form of singing? Oh sorry guys, didn't mean to start out on such a sour note but if you saw last night's American Idol debacle then you know what I'm talking about and if you didn't......well, just try to follow along, I'll move on in a sec.

It pains my ears every week to watch this season of American Idol so why do I do it? It's to see just how bad they screw up from week to week and to see who gets the boot instead of Sanjaya. I no longer watch to see who can out sing who but rather to see who can out suck who and this week Chris Richardson is my guy. He chose a Rascall Flatts song for country night and let me just say that Rascall Flatts singing Rascall Flatts is bad enough but Chris Richardson singing Rascall Flatts is just wrong. What did we ever do to him??!! I'm sure the whole Internet is buzzing about his shout out in the middle of Simon's critique to his friends and family in Virginia and to the victims of the Virginia Tech massacre. Maybe it was sincere but to me it seemed a little like he was drumming up some sympathy votes.

I understand he is from Virginia I certainly feel for him for that but Ryan made a specific point to mention the fact that everyone at American Idol's (as are the entire nation's) thoughts and prayers were with the families/people affected by the incident. Chris should have let it stand as is. None of the other contestants made a statement so does that make them total douche bags for being insensitive or does it make him look like a tool who is trying to drum up sympathy votes? I'm guessing that Simon's eye roll after Chris made his statement sums up my sentiments as well. In fact I'm guessing the producers of the show caught Simon's eye roll and that is why HE was forced to make is statement in the middle of his critique of Blake. Both accounts couldn't have seemed more forced or ill timed if they tried. Maybe I'm a horrible cynic who knows, it just struck me as a little off. Ryan did a good job with his opening statement and that was all that needed to be said. Otherwise everyone should have been given an opportunity to say something. My guess for the bottom three this week: Lakisha, Chris and Phil. It's that time of the year for the shocker vote off so I wouldn't be surprised if Lakisha went home tonight.

By the way, I mentioned www.votefortheworst.com in earlier posts and can you believe that this site has taken off like gangbusters?! Dave, the guy who started the whole thing, was on David Letterman last night. He has gotten so much publicity because of Sanjaya this season that he's actually making money off of it all now. What started out as a joke/little fun has exploded. Howard Stern supports voting for the worst and David Letterman wasn't against it. They are everywhere. And with such big names mentioning their site they are only getting bigger. That's the only reason I don't mention Sanjaya as needing to go home, it's pretty much a given that he sucks and is way out of his league but as long as this site is around and everybody keeps jumping on the bandwagon he's going to be around for a while. If you are interested go over to YouTube and search for Dave Della Terza on Letterman you can see the segment. He looks like Pee Wee Herman to me. He's actually not a bad guy, I've played around on that site for a long time and even though it seems like it's a malicious site you really have to just take it for what it's worth......a joke that's caught on quickly with a lot of folks.

Moving on. I feel like it's been ages since I blogged and looking at my last post date it really has been. I could lie to you and tell you my super exciting life has kept me away from the Internet all this time but that just isn't the case. I've been online just about everyday but if you don't know this about me yet then let me remind you.....I'm lazy and I love to procrastinate.

There are a few things going on that are post worthy. First off A1 was on spring break all last week and that did contribute to the neglect of my blog. We all went home to visit the parental/grandparental units and stayed with them five nights. I'm sure they were looking for the Valium by the time we left. Hubby didn't stay that long, he had to come back to earn us some grocery money so it was just me and the boys past Monday. We love staying down there though. A1 gets immunity from any form of discipline since his Nana puts the stink eye on me when I try to correct him and A2 rules the entire roost since he's the baby and my dad is a sucker for babies. That's sucker with a capital S! We spent the first couple of days just hanging out, watching movies, playing on the computers and eating, a lot of eating. We were there for Easter and that was nice. A2 hunted the crap out of some eggs and had a lot of fun. A2 and I left Wednesday afternoon to come back home and left A1 behind. I would have loved to go on vacation somewhere like to Florida but since that wasn't in the cards going home to see family is always the next best thing!

Of course during spring break we didn't know whether we needed to pack shorts or sweaters since the weather decided to do a complete 180. I went from sleeping under the fan with the windows open one night to digging the friggin electric blanket back out and snuggling up with it the next. What is up with that?!! Thank Jesus it's back up in the upper 60's around here but my poor trees and bushes that were in bloom two weeks ago look pitiful now.

I'm blaming the weather change for the indescribable crud that has been leaking from A2's nose for the last almost week. It grosses me out to watch him sit around with his eyes glued to Spongebob on television and his finger rammed up to the second knuckle in his nose. He's obsessed with picking his nose now and when I try to get it for him he covers his nose or runs off screaming. I had to go get him some cold medicine yesterday and that was fun trying to get him to take it. The first time wasn't so bad since he wasn't sure what I was up to, but the second time was awful. He saw me coming toward him with the syringe and he buried his head in the couch and wouldn't budge. I turned him over and he clamped both hands over his mouth. That was too funny since I've never seen him do that before.

I got bored last night so I have another product review for you. If you don't know this, I tried to wax my legs with a home wax kit a while back. Huge mess. Never happen again. Anyway, since I hate hate hate to shave my legs, and don't do it that often to my husbands chagrin, I thought I would try this stuff called Veet. Ever seen it? It's a depilatory cream that you put on your legs, leave it there for three minutes and then scrape the hair away with this neat little curvy tool. Three minutes.

Since I didn't want to do both legs at once in case I had some adverse reaction to the cream and it started to melt my skin off I decided to do one leg at a time. I put it on my right leg from the ankle to my knee and sat there. No burning, no nothing. (I know the double negative rule, get over it!) Three minutes were up and I took the little scraper and started at the top by my knee. The hair just slid off. Pretty amazing huh! Not quite. Albeit the hair was sliding off of my legs with minimal effort I was choking to death from this overwhelming stench. Since I can't do anything without an audience, naturally A2 was in there with me standing on his little stool so he could splash around in the sink. I swear I stopped what I was doing to pull the back end of his britches out to see if he had shit his pants. It was seriously that bad. There was nothing in there. Surely it wasn't the cream. Maybe he ripped one of his nasty diarrhea farts. You know the type. They could make glass eyeballs water. I finished the first leg and ran into the living room to let hubby feel. He said they are awful smooth but you smell like shit. Damn. Maybe the baby's fart got stuck in my hair or something. Surely it's not the cream!

I still wasn't convinced so I promptly went back to the bathroom, ran A2 out of the room and did the second leg. Sonofabiscuiteater, it was the cream! It doesn't smell when you first put it on but after those three minutes are up all bets are off. Something in that shit got activated and it seriously smelt like someone took a dump on my leg and the worst part of it was that after I got the stubble off I tried to wash both of my legs off while perched on the counter. It wasn't going away. I scrubbed and scrubbed but it still wasn't going away. Not only did my legs stink but now my hands stunk from rubbing them over my legs. By this time 30 some odd minutes have passed, and sure, a portion of both of my legs are smooth, but the bathroom is covered in water, I'm about to slide off the sink counter, and I stink like dirty arm pits now. The mixture of the cream and soap did not make a pleasant combination. How in the ever loving hell is someone suppose to save time using this shit? In the time it took me to go through all of this, finally give up and say I'm just going to have to stink tonight, and clean up my mess I could have taken a long bubble bath, shaved my legs with a Bic, dried off, put on lotion and even trim the hedges if I wanted to go the extra mile. And the real kicker to all of this, I'm just as frikkin stubbly this morning as I would be if I had just shaved.

Dear Veet - Kiss my ass!

Poor hubby, I could have taken a shower or bath after that incident but nope I went downstairs and worked out getting hot and sweaty and even more stinky. Have to admit that's the first time I worked out in about 10 days. Boo hiss to me because I didn't hit a lick the whole time we were visiting the family and last night was the first time I made my lazy butt get up. I did have someone comment that it looked like I had lost some weight and that I was looking good. That made me feel good. The fact that I put on a pair of size 8 capris that have been in my closet for two summers with no bulges made me feel even better. I'm still working towards my May 21'st goal. I just got side tracked with spring break. The scale actually dipped to 146 yesterday but only for a second. It hit 146.8 then 146.9 before it settled on 147. I'll take it.

I have more to share but it will have to wait. It's time to wrestle A2 to the ground for another dose of medicine and I should be out birthday shopping or cleaning my house or doing laundry or preventing global warming, you get the gist. My dear ol' dad is turning the big 5-0 on Saturday and I want to find him something special so I'll be wracking my brain for ideas til then.

On a serious note before I go: I lost an uncle last week to cancer and my heart goes out to his surviving wife, children and grandchildren. He was a very special man and he will certainly be missed. Take an extra minute and remind your family how much they mean to you or better yet remind yourself. Life is full of unknowns as it is, don't make your love for someone one of them.

Enjoy the rest of your day blogaholics and I promise to be back soon, if not later tonight for more updates and to fix any mistakes in this post. For now I have to just let it fly as is!

What I'm listening to right now: You're So Vain - Carly Simon; next on the list Hot Legs - Rod Stewart