Thursday, July 19, 2007

It's All About You A1

Dear A1,

13, wow how can that be!, years ago today, you were born and my life has been beyond blessed since. If you could have chosen a mommy to be born to, I’m guessing the 19-year-old emotionally unstable Me would not have been your first choice, but because I became a Mom on that day, I left many parts of that person behind, making me a much better mother for you, and now for your brother. I’m sorry that we weren't the “perfect” family for all those years but I’m so proud of how you adapted. I'm also sorry for you that there is a part of you that has been missing for all these years. You and I share a special bond that nothing or no one can ever break. The day you were born, the life I was destined to live began.

At every point in your life, I've had people - friends, family, even strangers - make a point to tell me how fantastic of a kid you are, and I always say the same thing: I can't take full credit for it, he was born that way. Because you truly were. You were a laid-back baby who rarely fussed, you never really went through the terrible twos, and you’ve always been respectful and polite. I know a lot of people think that makes me a good Mom, but I always feel like that takes a lot of the credit away from you. You are simply an amazing person. For what it's worth, I think I’m a decent Mom, but that is not why you are amazing. You simply are. You are mature way beyond your 13 years and have always been that way.

You have always been the one who feels bad for the kids that get picked on. You want to protect those who can’t protect themselves, especially your brother. You are kind. You are sensitive. And you are really damn funny. Everyone is amazed by how good you are with A2. Where I am happy with it - it doesn’t amaze me - because I expected nothing less. You’ve always been good with kids smaller than you, they always seem to like you, and the love you have for your brother shows with every second you spend with him.

The fact that you two will be close means so much to me because I never had a brother or sister of my own to turn to for support and that was tough because while growing up, I really could have used one. The fact that you and he will have that resource in each other forever, makes me beyond happy. He looks up to you and you have so much to teach him. I feel bad that there is such an age gap between the two of you sometimes but on the other hand I think that is what makes your relationship so special.

Honey- as you get older - we argue over more and more....and more things. You want a cell phone, I want you to hang up your towel. You want to stay up all hours of the night, I want you to go to sleep already! You want to play endless amounts of board games, I have to clean the house and can’t always do it with you. I am glad to see you developing your own taste in books, movies, and especially music. Where I’m totally thrilled is when they overlap mine (Desperate Housewives, Big Brother, The Beatles) and am also happy when they don’t (Akon, Stargate, Avril Lavigne) because it’s proof you are developing into a unique person, away from me.

When I have to tell you “no” to something you want, it breaks my heart because I want nothing more than to make you happy. I hope you don’t spend too much time sulking over not getting those things, but more importantly, I hope someday you’ll understand and maybe even thank me for it.

Thank you for still being someone I can hang out with. I know it gets harder for you as you get older and I get less cool, but it means so much to me to hear you say I'm the coolest mom ever on some rare occasions. I love sitting around and watching TV together, I love dancing to music with you, I love playing with your brother with you. I hope we continue to do those kind of things together even as you get older, but I understand if they fade away. I mean, I think I’m totally awesome, but some day, I’m sure you won’t see that. Just promise me that when I call you, you'll actually pick up and not let me roll to voice mail on purpose. (If you do, I'll have to spill the beans about your affection for Max and Ruby, I'll totally do it too!)

But until then - I’ll savor every moment we have as friends. You are amazing and I hope I never make you doubt that. You have given me gifts in my life I’ll never know how to thank you for. So, I just try to be the best mother I can. I owe you at least that.

Happy Happy Birthday, A1. I love you more than I could ever really say. Heck, I'd give up Dr. Pepper for you and you alone!



Cousin It said...

Happy Birthday A1! You are an amazing young man! Looks, Brains and a Sense of Humor! Watch out world triple threat guy!

R you made me cry. But in a good way. (((Family))) I love and miss you.