Monday, December 18, 2006

Paging Dr. Freud

You know, I went to college for two reasons the first was because it was something I always wanted to do and I wanted to set a good example for the kiddies. The second reason was because I think I was subconsciously hoping I could make sense of my screwed up life and some of the characters therein. By the way, in case you didn't know I majored in Psychology. Don't get me wrong I'm not some psycho chick and there are good people in my life, but the ones that are crazy more than make up for the ones that aren't.

Yesterday was the most exhausting day ever, and I could definately use a good spin on the couch with Freud. It started out a day unlike any other Sunday except for the manic depressive visitor that came a calling. I'll refer to her as Ms. Bakker. Now Ms. Bakker is a very eccentric (deviating from conventional or accepted usage or conduct especially in odd or whimsical ways) individual. Always has been and always will be. She's stuck in some kind of time warp and seriously needs to be on medication. Now this was no surprise visit, I knew she was coming but didn't put a whole lot of stock into it until I actually saw this person on my door step. Ever known someone that would tell you the sky was blue but you would rather look up to the sky yourself just to make sure?? Just asking. I had tried to prepare myself for this visit but now I know it was all in vain (marked by futility or ineffectualness).

I have a new house and this is the first time Ms. Bakker has ever, ever seen where I live....ever. In my personal line of thinking I would have thought either the first words out of this persons mouth when she got out of her car were either, "hey how are you, good to see you", or even "I like your house, it looks pretty". I couldn't have been more wrong. The first thing this dumbass had to say was, "That Bowflex isn't doing you much good". Are you fucking kidding me???? I wanted to choke the bitch right then and there. I showed remarkable restraint. I've gotten very good at that in my twenty-twelve years. Plus I've only had that stupid thing for about a week. What the hell was she expecting Nicole Richie??

I let that go and thought to myself that I could be the bigger (obviously in more ways than one...**bitch***) person and not let that remark spoil the visit. Besides it would all be over soon. She isn't one to show prolonged emotion or attention towards anything or anyone. We went inside the house and she wasn't interested that much in looking around she was just more interested in showing off the gifts she had brought for A1 and A2 and being praised for them. Give me a damn break!

They opened their gifts and A1 said his proper thank yous. He actually got a gift he wanted and a card. Nothing too extravagant but a nice thought. A2 couldn't care less about his and wasn't sure why this strange being was invading his space. He must have been reading my thoughts because he did what I wanted to do........he went to sleep. I struggled through mundane conversation about a wide array of bullshit. No, this person didn't really show much interest in what had been going on in my world so I didn't offer anything up. I just listened and did the polite nod on occasion. I tried to get a word in edgewise but couldn't quite get much out. Not that much goes on here, but hell if you only see someone once every blue fucking moon you'd think they would ask whatcha' been up to the last half of your life!!!!!!!!

Apparently Ms. Bakker picked up on my growing disdain (a feeling of contempt for someone or something regarded as unworthy or inferior) and finally decided it was time for her to leave. I at least got a "Merry Christmas" out of her but I asked myself as I watched the car pull out of my driveway, "self, what in the hol-lee hell were you thinking by welcoming this into your life?".

It took a good couple of hours for me to shake that visit and get it out of my system. Thank the good Lord above I've grown up and have the coping skills that I do!

After that was all over with, the crew and I decided to go grab a bite to eat. We had a good meal and the hubby needed to run into the hardware store to grab something. I sat outside and waited with the kids. While out there my phone rang and I thought better to answer it but did it anyway. ***shaking head in disbelief***

This was a family member of mine I'll refer to as Pita (pain in the ass). Pita calls from time to time to just bitch and groan about things and usually tells me the same story about a hundred times. Me, being the good person that I am or wacko, listen intently as though I've never heard it before in my life. I seriously think this person has no clue as to what planet they are living on sometimes. It's been a while since we have spoken so I guess they are making up for lost time. I listened to the beginning of a story (about 15 minutes without a pause for breath) that I knew I would not be able to stomach since I was so stressed from my earlier encounter. Don't tell anybody this but Pita got hung up on.....darn those cell phones and their crappy connections! ***wink, wink***

I ended the night with several Tums, my Psychology for Dummies handbook and an extra roll of TP. Wouldn't it be so cool and a lot less expensive if we could choose which gene pool we come out of?!


Mrs False Positive said...

OhMyGawd! She's so jealous of you even I can't stand it. She belted the insult because she was green with envy over your home. She didn't want to check out your home because she can't stop comparing your success to her failures. She couldn't listen about your happy life because it reminds her of how much she lost and how much her's sucks. She craved the praise for the gifts because she was so "upset" over your wonderful life, beauty, education, home, children and husband. Basically she couldn't get past herself to be happy for you.

Don't let her or others like her stress you. She's pitiful and deserves nothing more from anyone but pity.

Besides you have lots of family that can love and be jealous of you at the same time Duh. I'm muliti talented like that lol. Seriously though, living well is the best revenge. :wink:

Mrs False Positive said...


How much you charge an hour for a spin on your couch? You could get rich off of this family alone!