Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Myspace = Wasteofspace

I'm sure if you are reading this blog then you have at least heard of a little known website called Myspace. If not, turn your computer off now and go watch CNN or something. I was browsing around on Myspace the other day just for shits and giggles to see who all was on there and I've come to the definate conclusion that I hate frikkin' Myspace! It has to be the biggest bunch of bullshit out there. It's almost like enduring high school all over again. Who wants to do that?? (besides my husband who has a generic page **i laugh at him behind his back over it**)

It's essentially one big competition to see who has the coolest layout, most amount of "friends", and who can come up with the most original dumbshit post to put in someone's message column so they look cooler. You see, when you sign up for MySpace, you instantly have your first friend. You're immediately best buddies with the most popular person on MySpace which is some cat named Tom. Now, to understand the stupidity of this, you have to understand that this is a social networking mechanism. Tom is/was the mastermind behind the whole Myspace concept so he welcomes you with his generic greeting. He's everyones friend, you aren't special. You are immediately thrust into an extended network depending on the information you used to register and there are usually thousands of people within this network. You are free to browse all of the profiles that are up on Myspace and to steal any content you like and use it as your own. I've seen the same page layout on at least three different people now. How original! **rolling my eyes here**

Now that it's been set up all you have to do is sit and wait to see how many profile views you get, how many friend invites you receive, and while you wait see how many of your lamest pictures you can post up for the world to view. This is probably the worst part of Myspace. No one knows how to take a picture anymore. Essentially there are four types of pictures found on MySpace. The trendy "I can take pictures of myself in the mirror" photo, the "I'm way too ugly or trying to be too hip to use my real photo" image, the "I'm hideously deformed and want to use a picture of me from far away or a glamour shot" photo, and the "look at my dog, bong, close up of my make up, or butt crack" shot.

Seriously what's wrong with just taking a picture of yourself and using it. You shouldn't care what others think about your appearance, and if you have enough self confidence to post your profile on a site used by over five million people and counting you have enough self confidence to post a decent photo of yourself. It's almost as if it's a competition to see who can post up the dumbest picture of themself yet still come across as sexay (yes, I meant to spell it that way)! I looked at tons of those pictures and they're dumb, unoriginal, and I'd rather look at planter warts than look at some of these uninspiring photo contributions to the world.

Next thing is that there are a way more guys posting on hot girls sites than the other way around. I'm sure it's all an ego boost for the girl to have 500 posts telling her she is hot, but seriously, if 399 of them are from the same douchebag then it smells a little like a stalker to me and trouble waiting to happen. And just as a side note; if you put your hometown up on the site and the name of the frikkin' high school you went to, college you dropped out of, or your current workplace then expect some scary ass person to show up looking for you. What the hell are you really expecting...Mr. Right? The other thing that kills me is that after these assclowns have posted up all this personal information about themselves up for the world to read and someone does take a rather unhealthy liking to them, they turn around and bitch and moan about it in their MySpace blog. Where's the sense in that? Either make yourself a little more anonymous or shut the hell up and take your medicine because you deserve it!

I knew a couple of my friends had profiles on MySpace and so I did a search to see how many others were out there desperately looking to reconnect with old friends or looking for new ones. I did an exclusive search just for the alumni of my high school spanning the years 1989 to 1994 and found some pretty funny stuff. Of note, there was one chick on there that was such a teacher's pet, very quiet and ubersmart who was a total goth chick now. Wow, that was scary. She had skulls and crossbones on her page, some hard rock tune playing in the background, and pictures of her and her friends dressed in black leather with whips and chains.

I could go on and on about the deluded people and their funny profiles but I'll refrain. I just think it's hee-lar-ious to read some of the stuff these people put out there looking to be the most popular girl/boy all over again or in some cases for once in their life. Cheers to you my friends. Oh wait, I can't call you my friends can I? I don't have a MySpace page. Maybe I'm just jealous. If someone out there wants to create a page for me I'll totally rock it out. Til then I'll just make fun of yours (oh and my husbands he he he, ha ha ha).

I'm off to get ready for some more American Idol. **squealing with utmost delight** I love that show. Now I have a valid excuse to serve grilled cheese and spaghetti o's at least once or hell maybe even twice a week again. Woo hoo!

Oh and FYI, my opinion is neither copyrighted nor trademarked, and it's price competitive. If you like, I'll trade for one of yours.