Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Case You Were Wonderin'

Yep, that's me. Kinda corny I know but I love corny. It rocks! It was brought to my attention that as an outsider looking into this sweet and sassy little blog I have here, that it could be misconstrued that I am not happy in my relationship with the Huz and that the kiddie poo's are nothing but a burden to me.

Well, that just ain't so! Huz and I have been with each other for many many moons and although we get on each other's nerves I'm guessing he and I will be poking jabs at each other from our rocking chairs. He'll need one before me but that's another story. **smooches honey** Sure I like to poke fun at dear old Huz and bitch and moan about some of the things he does that grates my nerves, but that's what I love about him. And the fact that he puts up with me makes it all worth the wile. Plus last time I checked, about every other household in America or where ever has similar situations taking place in them. I just put mine out there for whoever has nothing better to do to read and maybe get a chuckle. As for the kids, they are my life. Granted they suck it out of me from time to time but I'd be nothing without any of them. I'm not up for Mommy/Wife of the Year or anything like that but we have a happy little home that keeps us all ticking. I wouldn't trade all the oil in Texas (or someother cheesy little saying you can think of) for my little family. Most of the things I say here are meant to be taken in a light hearted manner. Believe me if I didn't like something or someone it'd be apparent. See: Paging Dr. Freud. So there. And yes I am well aware that I have waaaay too much free time on my hands.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I Love This Cheesy Show

Woo hoo hootie hoo. I actually caught tonight's episode of American Idol while it was on. Didn't have to wait or anything. I have no life. I told you they would play up the Jennifer Hudson Oscar win. How in the hell can these clowns lay claim to her winning anything. Sure she was on that show but as I recall they gave her hell and didn't feel bad at all once she got the boot. But didn't I tell you they would sweep the Antoiletta scandal under the rug? Why yes I did. That mess was all over the Internet today too and was on that Keith Olberman show last night. Way to show denial AI. Bravo. Anyway here's my take on the guys tonight.

First off, I think they did much better than they did last week. I can't actually remember one stand out from last week. Then again, I was under the influence of some pretty good pain medication. Ahhh, pain medication. So first up is Phil Stacy. Three words for you buddy. Grow.Some.Hair. K, with that said he didn't impress me that much with his "Missing You" jingle. He's hanging on by a thread with me. Was a little too forced and didn't really seem to fit him. If you missed this song believe me you didn't miss much. It was just eeh for me dawg.

Jared Cotter (and forgive me if I don't spell all the names right) sang "Let's Get It On" and dedicated it to his parents. Thought that was a little creepy but what are you gonna do? I actually thought he did a good job. Got a little weak for me in the middle but he wasn't that bad. I could have done without the pseudo sexy face at the end. It didn't do anything for me. He looks like that model guy Tyson Beckford or whateverthehellhisnameis. He'll make it for another week. He's cute and not horrible sounding. Plus I liked him a little because he sang the ring tone that's on my phone when Huz calls. Corny I know.

AJ Tabaldo. Forgettable. He wasn't horrible but he has no charisma. He's walking a thin line I think. I didn't know this song so I couldn't really give a comparison. I also thought he would make a great cross dresser. Don't you think he'd look good in make-up and a dress? No. Ok.

Next up was Sanjaya and it took all I had not to dry heave while this kid was on stage. Yes, he had a touching story about his grandfather but come the hell on. Who told this kid he looked good in that hat? He struggled and sounded like ass. I would try out for American Idol and make it if it were held to his standards and that's not saying much if you've ever heard me sing. Three words to describe my singing. Nails.On.Chalkboard. But the difference is that I know it and he doesn't. Prediction alert: Snoozejaya is ouster number 1 Thursday night.

Chris Sligh, I like this guy. Hey that rhymed a little. He didn't give his best performance. I think this guy can really sing but I didn't love his song choice. I enjoyed listening to him, but I'm a little sad he didn't have anything funny to say other than "People are amazed that I was able to get a wife like that." comment. His wife was pretty though. They looked like they would be one of those cool couples you'd like to hang out with.

Next we have Nick Pedro who fortunately for him he's a hottie because based on singing alone Fever just wasn't working for him. Didn't have enough umph for me. Seemed very stiff and even though it was dedicated to his girlfriend I think he could have come up with a better song to sing to her. He's the front runner in the looks department but that performance has him floating somewhere near the bottom of the barrel.

Blake Can't Remember Your Last Name was next and even though he has gotten on my nerves in the past actually did a pretty good job. And if you look at him from the right angle he's a close second to our hottie Pedro. I just hate his Something-About-Mary hairdo he sports weekly. Simon said he was too much like the original...big freaking whoop assbag! I'm willing to bet none of the other guys could have pulled that song off. This kid is unique. Don't love him but he's a top contender for me. Wiggidy wiggidy wack! Oh, this guy reminds me of Beaker from the Muppets. You see it? Google Beaker, you'll get a chuckle.

Let's see who's next, aah Brandon, Brandon, Brandon. At what time did you EVER THINK that "Time After Time" would be a good song choice. It just screams "BAD IDEA" Dear me, sing a song sung by a man. Are you begging to get kicked off the show? That stunk the place up. Sang it through his nose when he wasn't under singing and really looked to be out of his element. Prediction Alert: Geek in Pink is ouster number 2.

Ok, the last two guys are gonna get the cliff note recap here. The first one Chris Richardson or the huge Justin Timberlake wanna-be was just a'ight for me. He wasn't horrible but I couldn't understand about half of what he was singing. He looked like he was having a good time and had pretty good stage presence. He'll be safe this week. And lastly Sundance, shave that shit off your chin, Head and his rendition of "Mustang Sally". He did a good job I thought. Much better than his Hollywood performance and that mess he sang last week. I had high hopes for him when I saw his audition but he petered out on me. If he keeps it up and continues in the grove he's in right now he might actually get to top 10.

So with that all said, my picks for looohoooser of the night goes to Sanjaya and Brandon. I'd say those two should be sweating bullets.

Can't wait to hear the girls and to see if Ryan mentions Antoiletta's troubles. Doubt it.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Here's What's In My Head

Oh lord, won't you buy me a mercedes benz?
My friends all drive porsches
I must make amends
Worked so hard all my life-time
No help from my friends
So oh, lord, won't you buy me a mercedes benz?
Oh, lord, won't you buy me a color TV?
Dialing for dollars is tryin' to find me
I wait for delivery each day untill three
So, lord, won't you buy me a color TV?
Oh, lord, won't you buy me a night on the town?
I'm countin' on you, lord
Please don't let me down
Prove that you love me
And buy the next round
Oh, lord, won't you buy me a night on the town?
Oh lord, won't you buy me a mercedes benz?
My friends all drive porsches
I must make amends
Worked so hard all my life-time
No help from my friends
So oh, lord, won't you buy me a mercedes benz?

Ever get a song stuck in your head and no matter what you do you just can't shake the damn thing?! Now that that's stuck in your head too, I'll carry on. Today was a good day. Although I'm convinced my child is possessed at the moment. A1 is in bed. A2 is bouncing off the walls, the couches, his dad, you name it. His new favorite thing to do is run up behind you and throw his arms around your legs for a hug. Most of the time that's sweet but some of the time he likes to give a little nip. I got him in the chops the other day when he did it to me so I mostly get just hugs but he nipped Huz a few minutes ago and I thought he was actually going to cry. I laughed so hard I actually peed a little but don't tell that. He's such a sissy. He has been walking around rubbing his leg and whining about it for 20 minutes.

Why is it that guys are such big babies when it comes to certain things? My husband drives me bat shit crazy sometimes. ***Ok, most of the time.*** I'll tell him I have a headache and he has one too that is 10x worse. I get a cold but have to continue to take care of the whole family and pick up my own snot rags. He gets a cold and the whole freaking universe stops running and he leaves his disgusting ass tissues all over the bedroom floor. I have surgery and am prescribed to take two pain pills at a time and he thinks that because he only had to take half of that when he had something COMPLETELY UNRELATED done I should only take that much. I could go on.

So, there is controversy all over one of the American Idol finalists. Big whoop. I'm sure they will sweep it all under the rug on tomorrow nights show. If you don't know about it, crawl back under your rock, no seriously I'll tell you. Antonella Barba, the girl who absolutely butchered the Aerosmith song last week, had some pictures of her that were not so nice surface on the Internet. Some of them were actually her. One of her on the shitter, one of her on a beach topless with her hands on her boobs, and one of her covered in only rose petals for a calendar she did for her boyfriend. The shitter one was pretty funny, her new nickname should be Antoiletta!Some of them were of someone who looks a whole lot like her. One is of some chick giving some guy a hummer. Her best friend forever went on record to say that, "Antonella is probably the least slutty person she knows". Seriously. She said that. I'm guessing that Jennifer Hudson winning the Oscar the other night is the best thing they could hope for because maybe they can focus on that instead of the train wreck that is our dear sweet Antonella. She won't be around very long anyway so why bother.

I'm looking forward to the show this week. Maybe I'll be conscious enough to actually pass my judgment on everyone although from what I remember last week I'll be looking for my meds when the guys sing. They were seriously not picking them on looks this year! Gaaww. Not but about one is a real looker out of the whole bunch and he kinda reminds me of an ex boyfriend so by default I judge him harshly. My favorite guy so far is the Jack Osborne lookalike Chris Sligh. He makes me laugh with his quick wit. The beat box boy gets on my nerves and little Mowgli is way out of his league. ***Go ahead and call me names for making fun of him, I don't give a rat's ass*** I'm really glad that kid who wouldn't wear shoes got the boot. ***I'm funny, or at least I think I am.*** That shtick had been tried before by Deena Carter and it was old way back then. Two words buddy, washed up. Learn from her. Oh, wait it's too late for him. Guess I should have blogged this earlier.

What the hell!! I got to go pick up Fruit Loops(more like sweep up the Fruit Loop dust)now. A2 has discovered how much freaking fun he can have by dropping them one by one on the hardwood and smashing them with his heel. Are girls this much trouble? Can I get a trade? I'll settle for a new curling iron.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Popcorn and Dr. Pepper

I am in heaven. Well, not literally but pretty close. It's been a pretty rough week but lo and behold I can definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm guessing that after tonight I will not have to endure another home cooked meal from the huz for quite some time and that makes my tummy say hooray! I don't know what happened to him because when we first met that man could actually cook an edible meal and didn't mind it too much. Now, not so edible and bitches and moans if he has to actually cook something. I can't complain too much though, he's actually stepped up to the plate and helped me out since I haven't been feeling so hot. I'm not sure who's looking forward to him going back to work in the morning, him or me. **Probably me**

Right now he and A1 have gone to Wal-mart and Sam's for the weekly grocery, stocking up on things we don't need, and forgetting stuff we do run and A2 and I are enjoying a humongous bowl of popcorn and Dr. Pepper. LOVE THAT STUFF! Hopefully this will curb my appetite for whatever he decides to whip up for supper. My hamburger from last night is still on the kitchen counter with about two bites out of it. Seriously, how can you mess up a hamburger??

I'm gearing up for tomorrow's clean-o-rama that is long overdue. I walked into A1's bathroom this afternoon, for I'm not sure what, and had to catch myself before falling into the floor. How can one person get one area so nasty? I haven't been able to clean it up all week and I can tell. I'm seriously considering looking for a haz-mat suit before tomorrow rolls around. His toilet was just gross and the sink had some bluish green substance I can only deduce as toothpaste/mouthwash glommed to the side of the sink basin and there was some white toothpaste spittle on the actual sink nozzle. Gross! There were underwear on the floor in front of the hamper that was less than two inches away. What is it with men and the damn laundry hamper? It's as if they have a physical aversion to hitting the freaking thing.

The dishes that the guys put away last night will have to be rearranged and put in their proper place and the playroom is an absolute disaster area. A2 dumped his car/truck bucket out on the floor and there are candy wrappers everywhere. I swear, all of the trash cans around here must have some sort of magnetic force field that repels any object hurtled in their direction. Oh well, it could be worse I guess.

Can you believe I missed Thursday's episode of American Idol? I almost cried. Laugh if you must but I did. I finally caught up on the shows that were on the DVR and from what I saw they cut the right ones. I made notes on the girls and I'm geared up for this weeks competition. I read somewhere that we may be treated to a Beatles week. I would crap my pants if that comes true. I love the Beatles. I also heard there may be a Gwen Stefani week. Kill me now if that is true. That shit would be B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!! I truly think that the guys better step it up if they want to remain in the game. Right now it seems like it's a girls competition to lose. I like Sabrina Sloan, Jordin Sparks and the girl that sang first on Wednesday night. Can't remember her name. I could Google it I guess but I'm lazy. Plus, I plan on giving a full out dish next week. I'm excited. Probably a little too excited but hey who cares!

Let's just hope I actually get some work done around here and don't get too caught up in the saga that is the Anna Nicole Show 2.0. I was kinda glad to be under the weather last week because it gave me a legitimate excuse to sit around and waste so much time watching that debacle. Can you believe all that mess? Judge Fonzie, I mean Seidlin, was a hoot. He sure had everyone in an uproar. I thought Dan Abrams was going to pop a blood vessel bitching about the guy and that Nancy Grace lady gets under my skin but I watch her every night now just to see how much of a bitch she is going to be to her guests. This lady has a serious ego complex.

Gotta run. A1 and Huz will be back soon and I have to dispose of the popcorn evidence before they arrive and rinse out A2's cup so there is no trace of Dr. Pepper in it. Don't want that lecture! Is it Monday yet?

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Spoiled Rotten

My family is spoiled rotten. Seriously. I guess I have known this all along but today it became very clear to me that I have probably done harm to my family by spoiling them so bad. They have no idea what it takes to be mom.

There's nothing like being under the weather for a few days, more like a week or so, and having to rely on your husband and children to take care of themselves, you, and the house. I think the poor fish didn't get to eat for about three days because I wasn't able to feed him. **Sorry about that little fella** At least they prioritsed things, meaning they basically just took care of themselves and me a little. The house looks like total ass and I'm sooo dreading having to get up and clean it.

What's funny though is that when I walked through the kitchen this morning I knew that if they continued to want to eat then they would have to clean at least a little bit of counter space off and empty one of the sinks.

Let the fun begin. Huz and A1 were both in the kitchen gagging and moaning over the gross dishes they had left over the last couple of days. **I'm snickering from the couch** They are fussing at each other that it should have been thrown out the other day. Hello, I told them that but since I'm under the influence of pain meds I guess I was delirious at the time. Now they have to empty the dishwasher. They have NO CLUE where anything goes. How is that? They know where to get the damn dishes when then use them but they can't seem to make them all fit back into the cabinets. I must be a magician because I make them fit. A1 comes around the corner asking, "where do you keep this one" about every five seconds.

I can't handle this. Where's my pain medicine?

Friday, February 16, 2007


Seriously. I am the incredible invisible mom slash super wife. I do not exist. My wit, my wisdom — my excruciatingly insightful parenting advice that I’m so eager to pass on to my offspring — poof! Passes out of my mouth into the air and disappears, like dandelion fluff along with the brilliant ideas I come up with to share with my husband.

Case in point. Well actually two but we'll start with this one. I blogged a few days ago about how A2 decided it was more appealing to chow down on his fruit loops if they came out of the potty chair bowl. Weeeellll, for about a week or so prior to that I told hubby and A1 to go in the bathroom, take A2 with them and take a leak in the bowl so he would know what to do with it. Did they listen? Nope of course not they are guys and they didn't think it up themselves.

At least not yet.

Keep all that in mind. Because here's the build up. During the day A2 and I have our routine worked out to where we are pretty well happy with the goings on. We sleep in, we get up and eat breakfast (sometimes), we watch some Backyardigans, play, clean house, eat again (sometimes), call hubby 10+ times to see what he's doing, and anything else that may come up. I haven't been looking forward to this whole potty training thing so I haven't been in too big of a rush to scuttle A2 off to the potty chair. I silently decided that I'm going to let his daddy field that one. He's a hell of a lot more anxious than I am to get him into underroos.

Anyway, last night I'm strolling through the living room wondering where A2 and his daddy have disappeared to because I couldn't hear them. Turns out they were in the bathroom. With the door locked. I knocked to see what was going on and I heard from the other side, "men's private time go away mom". Well kiss my grits. I kinda chuckled to myself because I knew what was going on in there and could just picture it.

After about five minutes the door flies open, A2 runs out with just his t-shirt on and hubby is rinsing the potty bowl out in the sink with this smug grin on his face. He proceeded to tell me that contact had been made. I asked what happened and he told me that HE, yes, I am trying to enforce the fact that he said HE, decided to show A2 how to use the pot by taking a whiz in it in front of him. Are you freaking kidding me!! This assclown (don't tell him I called him that) is trying to take the credit for MY idea. What am I, not here!! I let him have his moment because A2 came back a couple of seconds later and wanted to do it again. He was actually straining to try to pee in the pot. Yay A2!! I'm so blessed with the most creative husband ever. Who else but him would have come up with an idea like that. ***Grumble, Grumble, Grumble***

Next example and it involves A1. His computer was on the fritz for about a month with the screen being broken and all so he was freaking out. He couldn't get his computer games to load up on the one he had because they required a large amount of space and the game card wasn't compatible for some of the games he plays. Well, we found someone who had an extra computer and was willing to sell it for pretty cheap and it would be perfect for his gaming. He asked me what he should do with his old computer since it has now been fixed and works perfectly otherwise. I told him that he should do his iTunes on the old one because I was going to put my account on there as well and we could share anything we wanted to without having to make CD's. Plus he could surf the net on the old one and store any documents or photos he wants without worrying about space. This would allow him to use the new computer just for gaming. He didn't really like that idea because he didn't want to have to switch back and forth and was thinking about selling the old computer. I told him that if he did that then the likelihood of me or dad using his new computer went up and he'd have to monitor his space usage pretty closely. This conversation went on about two weeks ago. Two (2) weeks ago.

This past weekend he finally got the new computer in his hands. At first it didn't work but luckily hubby is a computer nerd and was able to fix it although it took him several hours. That naturally made him some sort of freaking hero and his ideas for the old computer were sage ass wisdom. I asked A1 a couple of days ago what his dad told him he needed to do and he (meaning Dad) said that it would make more sense to use the old computer to play on the Internet and upload songs to his iPod and just play video games on the new one to alleviate taking up too much space with all his other junk. He then explained to me how that was a good idea because he wanted to load up all the games he could on the new computer. Where in the t-total hell had I heard that before??!!!

I opened my mouth. I wanted to say, “Excuse me???? DAD said????? Are you all INSANE?????? DO YOU EVER LISTEN TO ME AT ALL???? HELLO, HELLO…..DOES ANYBODY PAY ANY ATTENTION TO ME????”

But I didn’t. I just shut my mouth, nodded thoughtfully, as if I was hearing this for the first time, and said, “Sure. That makes sense to me."

GAAAH, I stress therefore I blog. It allows me to grumble about the people who live in my house and complain about how hard it is to be so smart, so insightful, yet... so... ignored….

Now I know what causes normally rational, intelligent people to start walking around, muttering to themselves.

They are married with children.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

iPodders Anonymous Anyone?

I'm addicted to my iPod. I have literally spent hours listening to, trying to figure out how to work, or uploading music to this thing and it's driving my husband crazy!

I have one earbud in my ear seemingly all day now and if I really want to block out the zoo crew I slip in the other one. Right now. Both earbuds firmly planted inside ears. I can hear what they say but pretend I can't. **That's our secret, don't tell them**

Ever had one of those days where you'd scream if it would help, punch a hole in the wall if you could, or just felt like crying? I did today. I have worked my ass off around here for four days and can you tell it? Nope not one bit. I think I feel like ass right now because I didn't get to work out last night, haven't been able to sleep for the past two nights, and there is an entire bucket of toys spilled out on the playroom floor for me to pick up for the umpteenth time this week. Hubby decided once we got downstairs last night that he wanted to use the Bowflex and that left me with running on the treadmill which would have been perfect except for the fact that A2 wanted to see just how close he could get to the belt before I lost my mind. I had to stop after about three minutes. Worked up a real sweat there! A2 was driving me nuts. Much like he is right now. He's now trying to dump a second bucket of toys into the floor. I could really care less about the toys being on the floor but he has undoubtably found some old plastic Easter eggs from last year, or hell maybe even a couple of years ago, that have malted mini eggs inside them. He's busting them open and cramming them in his mouth faster than we can get them away from him to throw them in the trash. I'm looking to blame A1 for this. He is notorious for stuffing candy in places it doesn't belong and leave it to A2 the super sleuth to sniff it out.

Add to that the fact that I am currently balancing my laptop in my lap against the side of the twin bed in the playroom. Why am I doing that you ask? Because the hinge on one side is completely broken off and the other is hanging on by a thread, literally. A2 somehow got a hold of it again today and I'm really surprised he didn't come into the living room wagging my screen with him. Now I have to figure out how to get my iTunes from this computer to one of A1's. Yes he has two. Mom has a ghetto computer but A1 was two. Don't ask.

Don't know what's going on around here but hubby came home from work with the delightful news that his stomach has been tore up since about lunch time and seemingly right on cue A2 stunk the whole back end of the house up. **Please don't let the squidgies get passed around this house again dear God** The whole house is starting to smell like putrid mustard. Don't ask me how I deduced that but it's just plain ol nasty around here right about now. Great.

Best part of the whole day = A1 is the sweetest thing ever. He didn't eat all of his Ben and Jerry's from yesterday and asked me if I wanted to share with him today. I told him no thanks and he said he felt bad for eating it in front of me since I was trying to lose weight. That was just too sweet. I told him to go ahead but you know, I don't think he ever ate any. **May cry a little over that one** Only because I know how bad he wanted it. He only bugged the t-total crap out of me for over a month to go and get it.

I was hoping to dish on American Idol today but can you believe I haven't watched last night's episode yet. I know. Me either. Hubby decided he wanted to watch his Battlestar Galactica from Sunday night last night. I.Hate.That.Show. In fact I could pretty much live without the entire Sci-Fi channel's line up of shows. But it keeps the guys happy and out of my hair for at least a good hour sometimes. Guess I can't complain too much except for when it cuts into my television time.

Gotta go work out. Maybe I'll feel better. If nothing else it has to at least smell better down there and I can sing out loud to I will Survive on my iPod. Believe me that's not something you would want to witness!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

What's this taste like mom?

Last post date was February 6th! Oh my goodness. How did I let that happen? I guess my fast paced, jam packed life just wouldn't allow time for me to come here and blog. Or it could be that I'm lying right now and don't want to really admit that I've just been too lazy to blog. Take your pick. I'll go along with either choice.

New resolution: Try to blog at least ten minutes a day even if it's about nothing at all.

Plus, I've spent the past few days in front of the television watching the three ring circus that is/was Anna Nicole Smith's life unfold. Everyday I think to myself, "self, this really couldn't get any more screwed up" and what happens? It gets more and more complex every day. I really feel sorry for the baby and just hope they get the paternity thing cleared up soon. My money is riding on Birkhead. He seems genuine albeit a media whore at the same time.

Ok, what's new with me: Went to the doctor last week and that wasn't fun. How can anyone really enjoy having some stranger poking and prodding around where they don't belong. What's worse is that there is another person in the room with them doing nothing but just standing there watching. By the time I was finished I was sure I was owed at least a little something for the peep show.

What else: I got me an iPod over the weekend. I whined and cried about it enough that I was certain hubby was going to give in and get me one. He's a tough bird. It takes me longer to break him down these days. So the coolest person in the whole wide world got one for me. They know who they are and they rock! I've spent the past two days doing nothing else but loading it up with songs. I have anything from Mariah Carey to Madonna to George Strait to the Bee Gees on it and I LOVE it with a capital L! Now A1 doesn't have to worry about me jamming out to his or looking for an excuse to ground him just for that purpose.

A1 won his battle with me over taking him to get Ben and Jerry's. He's only been begging for it for the past month. I did a bad bad thing and introduced it to him a few months ago and he's hooked. They have to lace that stuff with crack or something because once you start you just can't stop. I'm so proud of myself though because when I took him today I just got him some and didn't get one for myself. The last time we went he got one, I got one, we brought them home and ate the entire contents of our containers while watching the night before's Desperate Housewives. And I wondered why I was getting fat! That's our Monday ritual. He comes home from school. We stop what is going on and watch that show. We're addicted. He'd crap if he knew I was calling him out on watching it but oh well.

Speaking of fat. I'm woo hoo proud of myself for still working out on a regular schedule on the Bowflex of Doom. I do it Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I'll have to testify that their claim of a better body in six weeks is a little bit of a stretch but I can actually see some good results. I'm not quite at the point where I'd like to be but getting there little by little. I'm fitting into my jeans better and each week when I try on a different pair that maybe didn't fit a couple weeks ago they button. I'm a jeans whore, I literally have about 40 pair of jeans and the more I fit into the happier I get. I've also been running on Tuesdays and Thursdays every chance I get. I don't beat myself up about it though if I don't get around to it.

A2 is still getting into things he shouldn't. Right now he's sitting beside me eating a Valentine's Day card that his Granddaddy and Nana mailed to him. Yes, I said eating. It's really quite gross and I should probably stop him but hell, I can't get him to eat anything else so I'm guessing paper won't hurt him. Besides I'm blogging right now and it feels GOOD.

While I'm on the subject of him eating, here's something a little funny he did today. He and I jumped in the bathtub this afternoon for our long overdue bath. It'd been since Monday since we had one. Again, gross I know but who has time!! Anyway, it was so cute because he grabbed the bar of soap that was on the ledge and of course it slipped out of his hands but he didn't care. He had some soap on his hands and started rubbing my back. I was putty in his hands. He tried to get the soap again but of course it slipped out every time. We continued on with our bath and since he insisted on sliding the door open and shut about a thousand times I was freezing to death and ready to get out. I started to let the water out and he stayed in to play as it drained. Well, as I was drying off I heard and awful racket coming from him and a clunking noise. He had picked up the soap and apparently wondered what it would taste like. I'm guessing he didn't like it because the racket was him spitting soap out of his mouth and the clunking was the soap being slung across the tub. I picked it up and put it on the counter for a picture. I about peed myself from laughing so hard at him. I'll add a picture so you can see just how big of a chunk he tried to bite out of it.

It looks like that on the other side as well. He was going to make it a good ole' bite. My money is on the notion that he won't be trying it again anytime soon.

Well, I'm off to scoff at the new American Idol. So far I'm not too impressed this season but I'll give my two cents on it tomorrow. Enjoy your Valentine's Day. I'm enjoying mine. I heart my guys, especially hubby since he came home at lunch today with a dozen roses, taco bell and a radio adapter for my iPod as my Valentine's Day present. Now I can jam out to the radio through my iPod. Coolest.Thing.Ever. A1 is so green over it. I told him we could share though since I'm a cool mom like that.


Monday, February 5, 2007

Ewww. Just ewww.

I'm cleaning up right. Story of my life these days. A2 was watching him some Looney Tunes in the living room munching on some Fruit Loops when I decided to go sack up the garbage. I gathered up what was in the kitchen and thought about the bathrooms. Nothing out of the ordinary there. A2 now had his little bowl of Loops in his hand and followed me into A1's bathroom to get the trash from in there. Nothing out of the ordinary there. I dumped it in the kitchen and went to my bathroom. A2 toddled along behind me, bowl in hand. I grabbed the can and headed towards the kitchen to dump that. A2 stayed behind. Didn't think anything was out of the ordinary there.

WRONG! I proceeded to sack up the rest of the trash. Put the new bag in the can. Took the big bag out to the garage and thought to myself, I need to scoop the cat box. At this point I just figured A2 was back in the living room. From now on I'll physically check to make sure. After I scooped the cat box I went to the living room to check on A2. He was in there alright. He was back to watching his Looney Tunes and was still eating him some Loops but not from his little bowl he was toting around less than 10 minutes ago. NOOOO, he had transferred his Loops into the tiny bowl that sits inside his potty chair. The one that they use and then you pick up, pour out and then replace. I bout shit my pants! He had it sitting on the television stand plucking Loops out one by one and popping them in his mouth. Could anything be any grosser than this? I think not!

Granted we have been trying to introduce the idea of potty training to him and the entire chair had been sterilized it was still gross. He hasn't actually hit the pot yet. My foot once and the bathroom rugs at least three times now but the potty chair, never. I told hubby and A1 that they were actually going to have to use the little chair to show A2 how it works. Thank the Lord above they are both too damn lazy to have done it already!

I gracefully took the bowl away from him and slung the Loops off the back porch. Afterwards I went back into the bathroom to find the actual food bowl on the floor in front of the potty chair. Let's just hope this doesn't happen again or I'll hurl for sure.

This and That

Monday, Monday, Monday, how I look forward to thee! Sounds crazy I know but I really do look forward to Monday. It's the day where I can hang out with A2 and clean my house up from the weekend tornado that rolls through starting every Friday night. I don't know how we manage to do it. I'm blaming the majority of it on A1 and the husband but my house is so funky by the time Sunday night rolls around. I don't have a problem keeping the house clean during the day when it's just me and A2 or even when A1 gets home from school. Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't blame him so much as just blame the husband! We watched the Super Bowl last night along with just about every other red blooded American and the hot wing bones, cheese dip bowls, chili spoons and 50 cups were still sitting waiting on me this morning. I don't understand how four people with one having his own cups can mess up so many friggin' one day! It's almost as if we took just one swig out of each one and then got another.

We got to play in some snow, if you want to call it that, yesterday. It was more like fine powder (no pack to it at all) but nonetheless a welcome site to A1. We had no idea it was supposed to snow the night before so when we woke up to see the ground covered it was a big ol yippee around here. Especially since poor A1 got the shaft on the last snow they supposedly predicted last week (we got none). This was the kind of snow that even though it was freezing ass cold outside it was still melting fast. It was probably less than an inch on the ground but we suited up and went outside. A2 loved walking around in it. A1 likes to eat it. Hubby just wanted an excuse to get his tractor/mower out. And I was left to watch the goings on. The guys hooked up a disk type sled to the tractor and hubby pulled A1 and A2 around. Too cute. Then out came the go-cart. A2 and I went in while hubby and A1 rode all over the yard and field behind the house on that. Too cold for me to do that. By the time they were finished riding, all the snow in our yard was pretty much gone. But A1 had a blast and that's what counts!

Back to Monday, it is also the day I can catch up on any Days of our Lives that I didn't get to see from last week or at least Friday's show. I have to tape it every single day even though I'm home because I fast forward through most of it. I've watched that show since I was about 12 and seriously couldn't tell you why. It was actually good back in the day but now it's borderline stupid on most days and some of the characters make my skin crawl. But I will say, they are kinda like a second family and my real family can be borderline stupid and there are a few of them that make my skin crawl! (I have a whole side of my family that fits that description perfectly except for about one and she knows who she is) Guess that's why I keep hanging on. Plus the gratuitous cute hunky guy with no shirt on shots aren't too hard on the eyes.

Somehow the cat got trapped in the basement this morning and it scared the crap out of A2 when she started howling and rattling the door to come back in. He was in the dining room and when he heard it he made a beeline to the kitchen where I was washing dishes. I let her in and he acted like he hadn't seen her in a month. He loves that cat so much it's funny. He wants to pick her up so bad but she just isn't having it. I can't say that I blame her. Half the time he's following her around trying to grab a hold of her tail or he's going up to her when she is laying down, sits down beside her, and tries to give her some love by rubbing his head on her like she does him on rare occasions. He hasn't quite grasped the concept though because he puts all his weight on her with his big ol melon head and it crushes her til she has to run away. The funniest thing he does to her is he will catch her with her back turned and run up to her as fast as he can and yell "dat, dat, dat" that scares the begeezus out of her. She's gotten pretty good at dodging him when he's on his tricycle and when she's napping in the front room in the sunlight she no longer just lays there when she sees him coming. She made that mistake once and I think she learned pretty quick it wasn't a good idea. He came up to her grabbed her by the tail and swished her around. All I heard was loud giggles and feet scrambling on the hardwood. I have seriously considered calling the vet to see if I could get her some Valium. She does get rewarded by hanging around with him though. He won't eat much solid food other than chicken nuggets and corn on the cob. She loves corn and will wait for him to set it down and pounce on it. And we can't forget the times where he lays his cups down on the floor and milk puddles out of them. YUCK! If she's around she will lap it up.

Oooh, I found out something creepy and sad about our old house in the old state I use to live in before I moved here to my new state. I use to live in a state south of here. We moved there back around 2003. I never really loved the house that much until closer til the end and then it sort of grew on me. We had a kick ass master bedroom with two closets so that part I liked. It was probably my favorite room of the whole house. Spent a lot of time in there. We moved away from there a year ago in January and sold our house to this super nice couple a year ago on the 2nd of February. Well, A1 was talking to one of his friends from down there yesterday and she told him that there was a murder in our old house. OH MY GOSH!! I thought at first she was pulling his leg because he ran into the kitchen while still talking to her to tell us that and didn't give details, arrrgh. So hubby and I both grabbed a computer and started doing a search. I figured it was a shooting and started searching for a shooting in that city. Nothing. I finally had hubby look for their name in the checkbook. We had to write them a check for something or other at closing. Found it. Looked it up. And sure enough there it was. This couple's 33 year old son had stabbed his father (the super super nice guy I met at closing) to death and then tried to OD and cut his own wrist.

Good grief! After A1 got off the phone he gave us the scoop from his friend. She said that they (the kids he use to hang out with) were all swimming in the neighbor's pool where he use to hang out and noticed news choppers flying around the area. This was back in July of this past year. This is a pretty nosey group so they got out of the pool and noticed EMS, Police, and a whole lot of other people near the house. This is a one street subdivision with not a lot of room in it. I'm sure the whole street was freaking out. She proceeded to tell him that the son and the dad didn't see eye to eye all the time and use to argue all the time when the son came in to visit. She said that prior to this blow up the son had killed the dad's dog for shits and giggles to piss the dad off. This man loved that dog because we can remember him talking about it during the closing. Well apparently the son snapped and while the mother was at work he stabbed his father about four times in the chest. They didn't discover the bodies until the wife came home from work. Could you imagine? That must have been a horrific site for her to come home to see. My heart broke for her as soon as I learned that.

What's so creepy about it all is that that use to be MY house! I saw a picture on one of the news magazine websites and it was MY old side yard. It had a bunch of ivy growing in it and my husband brutalized it with his lawn mower. It had the yellow police tape wrapped around the trees and there were two police officers standing at the end of the driveway. That's the house where A1 said he like to live because of the school system. That's the house where we brought A2 home from the hospital after he was born. My baby's first house is now the site of a brutal murder. **shudder** We were talking about it yesterday and more than likely if the father was sleeping when he was stabbed then he was in the master bedroom that I loved so much. Ugh.

A1's friend said that the lady still lives in the house with her daughter who is apparently close in age to the deranged son. The son was taken to the hospital and then locked away in the mental ward. She didn't know much more than that. It's a sad sad thing that only five and a half months after moving in they endure such tragedy. This couple said they were moving from up north to get away from all the hustle and bustle to live a quiet life in their new (to them) house. They were going to remodel the kitchen and just enjoy the neighborhood. They were excited that we had fenced the back yard in because it would give a safe place for their dog to play outside. It was a very peaceful place and in fact this was the first murder that area had seen in two years.

You just never know what life is going to throw at you. I've thought about this a lot since hearing about it yesterday. I am certainly grateful for all that I have and the friends and family that are in my life. Bad things happen without prejudice and often without warning, hug your family, tell your friends you appreciate them. Let go of past issues and live for the moment.

I'm off to watch the Backyardigans with A2 again and love it even though I've seen this one about six times already!

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Winter Wonderland - NOT!

Awww man! I was really hoping for some snow last night even though any chimp could tell by the weather radar that we were going to be bypassed. There is snow all around us but we only got a dusting. Boo hiss. A1 was praying so hard last night for some snow so he wouldn't have to go to school today. I didn't have the heart to tell him this morning that every other county in the frikkin western half of the state didn't have to go to school today but he had to go stand out in the fah-ree-zeeing ass cold to catch the bus this morning. They didn't even give him an hour late which was surprising. Guess this big ol' metropolis we live in is better equipped to handle the snow. *snickering to self** Sucks for me too because now A2 and I have to get out this afternoon to go pick him up. Yuck! At least the car is in the garage and we don't actually have to exit the vehicle. Woo hoo for that! Let's just hope we get something from the next "big wave" that's gonna roll through this afternoon. **stamping foot with face plastered against window**

Funny story, at least to me: A2 has gotten to where he will come up to me and grab me by the hand and lead to me where ever he wants me to go or to whatever he wants me to give him. He's usually hanging around my feet while I'm in the fridge getting his milk out. Well the other day he was in there and discovered that we had some strawberry syrup on the bottom shelf of the door. I'd given it to him before but I guess he didn't really love it so much then because he didn't make that big of a deal out of it. On this particular day he grabbed it out and started licking the top - gross I know but we did buy it just for him. I thought I'd give it a shot and put some in his milk to see if he would like it better now that he's a little bit bigger. He was watching me very intently and when I handed him his cup he looked at it and was a little hesitant. Well all it took was one swig and he was hooked. I swear that baby ONLY wants strawberry milk now. He seriously drags me to the fridge and before I can get the milk off the top shelf he's got the syrup whipped out and hefting it up to me. I'm guessing this baby's strawberry milk addiction is the equivalent to a junkie on crack. And for all you naysayers, no, I don't add much, just enough to turn the milk pink. I'm not wanting to have my baby's teeth pulled before their time. I was telling hubby the story and he kinda thought it was cute till he actually had to go in there last night and make it. Of course he put too much syrup in there and didn't leave enough shake room. He made a mess but at least he cleaned it up. He did say he wasn't feeling well all day, now I believe him! He never cleans up his messes.

Let's see what else - oh, I'm so bored with American Idol. I've waited so long for my AI fix and it's starting to hack me off. I'll be so glad when all this audition crap is over. The Los Angeles auditions were one of the worst shows Idol has produced to date, certainly the worst this year, thanks in no small part to the fact that every single joke and contestant was a recycled storyline from a previous show. There was absolutely no originality present in the entire hour. I’d rather bash my head in with a shovel than watch crap like this episode where we were treated to at least two gratuitous shots of Ryan Seacrest’s Hollywood Walk of Fame star that he got for what reason??!! I'm so looking forward to the actual competition. I would much rather see stories about the contestants we don't see make it through to Hollywood since these are the people we will eventually be voting for not losers like that Kevin Federline wannabe who thought he was some sort of panther. I'm sure his parents are so proud. I was sure to tell A1 that if he ever acted like that I'd have him committed. He knows I'm serious too. I was reading somewhere yesterday that they were considering Courtney Love for a panelist. That should be interesting. She's even loopier than Paula Abdul on a sober day. Plus this bitch would eat Simon alive if he even looked at her cross. Randy would definitely be the one in the middle of that trio. If you don't know who Courtney Love is Google her. There's some interesting reading on her out there. I'm not putting a whole lot of stock in it though; Paula's goofiness is part of why a lot of America tunes in to see the show. And I'm guessing Courtney would be too much of a liability risk.

And lastly, I don't know how I'm going to clean my living room today since there is a three man tent set up just off to the left of the couch here. Yes, you read that right, there is a tent in my living room fully loaded with a massaging floor chair, a boppy, a pooh pillow, three blankets and a stuffed kitty cat all inside, oh the television remote is in there too and probably my cell phone since I haven't been able to find it all morning. Seriously, somebody call me so I can find it! A2 loves loves loves, just like any other little kid, to have a fort made for him and it's a pain in the ass to find something that will hold a couple of heavy blankets and withstand his wallowing around inside. I told hubby that we should look for a pup tent for him back during Christmas but I guess it's just the wrong season because we couldn't find one. We have several tents; most of them being rather large but A1 got this three man tent for his birthday several years back and said it was Ok for A2 to borrow it. GREAT! You realize it will be war when I do finally get sick of looking at it in my living room and have to take it down.

I'm off to watch the Tyra show. I've never watched it before. I've only seen clips on the Soup where they make fun of her but I Tivo'd it today because she was supposedly going to retort all the negative publicity she's been getting lately regarding her recent weight gain. I'm more than a little curious. Plus my tummy isn't feeling so hot right now. I hope I don't come down with that massive bug that's been going around closing all the schools. That would suck with a capital

Happy Anniversary to the parental units! Love you guys to the moon and back.