Monday, May 21, 2007

Close Enough To Perfect

Today is my husband's birthday! I had hoped to be about 10 pounds lighter by now but that just didn't work out in my favor. He said it's because I'm gaining muscle mass and that it weighs more than fat. I'm hovering around 146-148 these days but I'm still working out like a crazy person and I guess I'm seeing results. I felt pretty this past Saturday when I put on my white shorts (size 9-10 from Aeropostale that seem to run smaller than other stuff) and navy shirt and it looked like I had a little bit of a flat tummy. My sweet hubby even made a comment that I looked "kinda cutesy"! Woo Hoo. I've got three weeks from today to hit it hard so I can go to Florida and not be so self conscious.

Anyway, back on track. Today is my husband's birthday and I just wanted to write about how much I love him. He and I have been together for way too many years to count now and quite frankly I would have never guessed we would have made it this far back several years ago. Like most people, we've had a lot of ups but we've had a whole whole lot of downs over the years too. We've struggled with trust and honesty and have spent a lot of time crying over some of the hurtful things we've done and said to one another.

Luckily we both decided to grow up and leave all of that (well most of it) in the past and live life to the fullest. I have to tell you that it's made a world of difference. I was going to the friggin doctor several years ago switching from one antidepressant to the next thinking I had some sort of damn chemical imbalance or trying to fix my emotional roller coaster that was perpetually off track. Finally after finishing my bachelor's degree in Psychology, of all things, I figured out the problem wasn't chemical but that it was my relationship and there wasn't a pill out there that was going to fix it. I had to get off my butt and fix it myself. Well, I had to take the initiative and WE had to fix it.

We sat down and talked and talked and cried and cried and finally made up our minds that neither of us was willing to throw away all the years we had already invested in one another and wanted to be happy together rather than apart. That's also when we decided to try for another baby. It took us only a couple of months but naturally (A2) it worked. Oops, I meant to say it only took us one try since my dad reads this and he knows I've only had "relations" one other time in my life (A1). **wink, wink** Anyway, a lot of people would scoff at the thought of having a child to save a relationship but for us it 100% worked. We let the kids be the kids and we are now the adults.

Now that I see my husband through different eyes I see him as the thoughtful, caring, compassionate man I never saw before. He is a wonderful provider for me and the boys and it's evident that his world revolves around the three of us. He has worked hard to get to where he is now and I'm very proud for him. He set a goal for himself years ago career wise and is one step away from achieving all he has wanted to in his field. Because of his dedication and perseverance we are able to enjoy the lifestyle that we do and I am able to just hang my degree on the wall and admire it while staying home with A2 until I get ready to go to work.

Sure I like to make fun of him from time to time, who can blame me? He's gives me a lot to work with, and yep, I'm guilty of taking him for granted sometimes too, but when I think about where I want to be in 50 years I can't see me without him right there. Is my husband perfect? Nope, he snores, he watches way too much Sci-Fi for my taste, he never pushes the freaking drawers in all the way, and he throws his underwear in front of the laundry hamper instead of inside the damn thing about half of the time, but he's close enough to perfect for me, so I'll hang on to him.

So to my husband - I send out the warmest birthday wishes I can muster up from all three of us. I love you to the moon and back, and by the way, how does it feel to be that damn old honey??


mlb said...

That is really sweet about your hubby....that made me sit back and think what a wonderful hubby I have...everyone has a past and it is great that two people can forget that and move on with their lives.. I am really amazed what seperate lives we thought we lived but really the same..Stay at home moms with great husbands, 2 great boys and a happy life..Amazing how things work out...Have a good day...