Doo Wah Diddy Diddy...

Monday! Monday! Monday! I had such big plans for you today dear Monday but you've managed to bend me over and kick me square in the ass! What is up with that?? I was so looking forward to you today so I could get some much needed house cleaning done before the health department comes in and shuts me down all together. The husband went back to work today and the kids were both gone, A2 only from 9:30 to 12 though. Perfect time for me to start on the massive list of shit I need to get done right?

WRONG!!

Want to know how I managed to spend my time alone this morning while the crew was gone and I was here alone? I spent it NOT cleaning my kitchen or bathroom or utility room or living room or bedrooms. I spent it NOT taking out the garbage or vacuuming and mopping the floors or even taking a shower. I spent it sitting on my duff eating Raisin Bran and watching The Tyra Show. Yep, I said it, The Tyra Show. How.Embarrassing!

I've only watched her show a handful of times and for the most part she's pretty silly. I felt sorry for her last year when the media was calling HER fat. AS IF! Anyway, I don't know how it happened but when I turned on the TV she was on and I never changed it. Funny thing is, she wasn't even talking about anything of importance and it wasn't even all that interesting but I sat there and watched every single minute of that show. Live. I never watch live TV.

Before I knew it, by the time I'd finished watching Tyra, went to the bathroom in peace, ALONE, and then put up my cereal and milk it was time to go get A2. So much for getting anything done while he was at preschool.

We got back at a little after 12 and I had three hours before I have to leave again and go get A1 from practice. Loads of time to get some cleaning done, right?

WRONG!

Here it is 2ish and I still haven't cleaned the kitchen or utility room or living room or bedrooms. Still haven't vacuumed or mopped the floors, taken out the garbage, or taken a shower. what have I been doing?

I've been chatting on the phone for 30 minutes with Friend 1 since I haven't talked to her since before the holidays. I chased A2 around the house after getting off the phone with her because he himself smelled like garbage after dropping a huge load in his diaper and thinking I wouldn't notice by running and hiding. (Yeah, that resolution about having him crap in the toilet isn't going quite as planned!) I've tried to bribe said A2 into eating something besides the massive amounts of sugar he usually ingests on a daily basis but failed miserably at it. I've gone back to the bathroom at least twice now, both times with my usual audience, because that earlier Raisin Bran is playing havoc with my digestive system and it isn't pretty.

What else? I've started and stopped A2's Spongebob DVD in my bedroom about three times now because, again said A2, has discovered that if he drags the chair that is at the foot of my bed over to the armour he can push buttons on the TV and DVD player causing said mother (me) to flail my arms and screech for him to "nnnnnoooot doooo thhhaaaat" which in turn causes him to laugh his little baby ass off and wait for me to leave the room so he can do it "wun maw tiime iz awwl". Good times, I swear!

So needless to say I've decided that since there is no real point in getting all involved in cleaning up right now (warning LAME justification ahead!) since I have to leave in just a little bit anyway, that I will just put it off until after I pick up A1. Plus this way I can bride him into helping me since I let him use his computer yesterday when he was totally banned from it the night before for being a smart ass. I'm so weak sometimes. Plus I understand the teenage mind and guess I could see where he was coming from when he was being all mouthy. He totally gets it from me anyway so I let him slide on occasion. This time will just cost him. How else am I going to make it look like I've busted my ass all day cleaning by the time the husband gets home without help at this point?!

Once I get started I'll get into the swing of things and will actually get a lot accomplished it's just the getting started that kills me. Speaking of getting started and into the swing of things, TONIGHT Fo SHO is the night I'm going to get back into my workout routine. Bullshit you say. We'll see. I weighed myself yesterday because I was feeling a little lot puffy all day and sure enough I'm up three (3!!) to 141. That just sucks ass! What more motivation do I need after that? Here I was feeling all good about myself because the big girl made it into the 130's and I went and blew it somehow.

I know one thing, it sure as hell wasn't from drinking anything that tastes like something worth drinking. FYI, Sam's Choice Diet Coke.....NOT GOOD!! Going to try Diet 7-Up and Sprite Zero tonight or tomorrow. Even though it tastes like ass I'm still going to finish the other off before I crack open another one. It has be to the oatmeal raisin cookies and pasta and other random junk I've been shoveling into my face like there's no tomorrow. Bletch.

So here it is 20 minutes before I have to go get A1 and I've only managed to get one thing done and that one thing is to post this, yip, yip, yippee! Man, who can keep up with me!! Now that it's time to acutally go get A1, I have to go roust A2 who has now fallen asleep (Murphy's Law) and THAT will be like kicking a damned ol' hornets nest to wake him up to put his clothes on (he stripped down as soon as he hit the door) and load him into the car. More Good Times!

Would I be considered a bad mom if I just put him in the car as is with maybe a blanket over him since it's friggin' 69 degrees here today? I'm leaning towards that idea. If I don't wake him up I can spend that five minutes or so spell checking. I'll just let you guess my decision. Here's a hint though, no spelling mistakes = baby in car nekkid (<--that word doesn't count, spelled it that way on purpose). Spelling mistakes = I'm super Mom and tangled with the tiger.

Here's to a much more productive afternoon. Don't overwork yourselves out there. You're making me look bad.

Oh, one more thing, the post title has absolutely NOTHING to do with the post. It's just the stupid ear worm that's stuck in my head at the moment. Do you know how hard it is to come up with titles for this stuff? Pretty hard. So my gift for you is to pass my ear worm on to you because I'm cool like dat!

All together now,

There she was just a-walkin' down the street,
singin' do-wah diddy-diddy down diddy-do.
snappin' her fingers and shufflin' her feet,
singin' do-wah diddy-diddy down diddy-do.
She looked good, LOOKED GOOD
she looked fine, LOOKED FINE
she looked good, she looked fine
and I nearly lost my mind.

Before I knew it she was walkin' next to me.
singin' do-wah diddy-diddy down diddy-do.
Holdin' my hand just as natural as can be,
singin' do-wah diddy-diddy down diddy-do.
We walked on, WALKED ON
to my door, MY DOOR
we walked on to my door,
then we kissed a little more.

Wo-o-o-oh, I knew we were falling in love,
yes I did, and so I told her all the things
that I'd been dreamin' of.

Now we're toget her nearly every single day,
singin' do-wah diddy-diddy down diddy-do.
We're so happy and that how we're gonna stay,
singin' do-wah diddy-diddy down diddy-do.
I'm hers, I'M HERS
she's mine, SHE'S MINE
I'm hers, she's mine,
wedding bells are gonna chime.

Wo-o-o-oh, I knew we were falling in love,
yes I did, and so I told her all the things
that I'd been dreamin' of.

Now we're togther nearly every single day
singin ' do-wah diddy-diddy down diddy-do.
We're so happy and that how we're gonna stay
singin' do-wah diddy-diddy down diddy-do.
I'm hers, I'M HERS
she's mine, SHE'S MINE
I'm hers, she's mine,
wedding bells are gonna chime.

Singin' do-wah diddy-diddy down diddy-do,
do-wah diddy-diddy down diddy-do,
do-wah diddy-diddy down diddy-do.

You're welcome!