Multislacking Is My Forte

Here it is almost 4 in the afternoon and guess what I have gotten accomplished today? Absofreakinglutely nothing. Oh wait, I take that back. I managed to take a shower today because I was pretty stinky. I contemplated taking the boys to the park since A1 got out of school early today but (thank the Lord) it was raining cats and dogs this afternoon. I dished out rain checks and took them to Wendy's for a healthy (rolling eyes here) lunch. I'm a cool mom like that.

Not much new around here except another television my husband came wagging home yesterday. We are such TV freaks around here. No exaggeration needed here. He justified buying yet another one by saying it would motivate him more to clean up and organize if he had one in his garage. Riiiiight. He should have just came clean and said "look honey, I just want to spend our money on a TV so I can have one more option as to where I can waste time away from the crap you watch". That would have been dead on. This brings our tally up to 10 working televisions we have in our house. Yep, 10. That's counting the one we have in the shitter. Don't believe me. Go back a few posts to where A2 bit the soap, you can see it on the counter in the background. Did I mention we were TV freaks!? Next purchase he wants to make.......a smaller one for his office. **Sigh** I love him and he lets me shop for kid clothes all the time so what can I say?!

Tuesday night we watched yet another chilling display of non-talent from the faux hawked Sanjaya. It doesn't even make me mad any more that he's on there. If that kid can pull of looking like a complete dumbass all the while sucking as bad as he does, yet still get paid for it because he's going on tour. More power to you brother! I don't even care who wins this time. I just watch to see how much more of a spectacle Sanjaya is going to make of himself. It's almost as if he's deliberately thumbing his nose at America with each new week. That mowhawk screamed "screw you" in my opinion. I'm thinking once he's gone the ratings may take a pummeling. Just saying. By the way, I'm so going to rock the seven ponytailed mowhawk for the hubby. I might even wear it when I go see my parents and they want to go out to eat. Fair warning guys!

I'm probably going to jail anyway so it won't matter what my stupid hair looks like. I'm addicted to freaking Limewire. That's part of my problem today. I've sat here on my ass and downloaded over 20 songs today. I now have 905 songs on my iAppendage. Somebody had the entire Greatest Hits of The Doobie Brothers CD loaded on their computer so what did i do.....copied every single song. Friggin' A!!!! Last night I got me some Donna Summer, The Fugees and Robert Plant and the Honeydrippers. I.Can't.Quit. Is there a meeting for this I can go to somewhere?

I should be giving A2 a bath. I'm guessing that if I don't do it soon he's going to start drawing flies. He couldn't look any more like an orphan if he tried. It's warm here, the doors are open, he's running in and out chasing the cat with a squirt bottle with nothing but a t-shirt on that is stained with pink popsicle, grape juice and something brown. His knees are skint, his hair needs to be cut and he smells like a wet puppy. I bought him chicken nuggets for lunch and he still hasn't eaten the first one. He thought they would serve a much better purpose if he beamed them up against his brother's head. Lets just pray Child Protective Services aren't in the neighborhood. My kids are nuts today. I'm going to have to find the duct tape because A2's figured out he can rip his diaper off with minimal effort and thinks it's funny as hell to see my reaction. I'll fix his wagon.

Worked out Monday night like a crazy person. I did a 20 minute run and pushed myself on the Bowflex of Doom. I noticed it didn't take as much effort as usual to lift the weight. I may bump each side up five pounds tonight. I didn't work out last night because I was sore from Monday and Limefreakingwire held it's evil power over me. Plus I had to help Hubby take the television out of the playroom so the new one could go in there and the old one to the garage. It took forever to unhook and hook back up all the stupid video game systems they have back there.

Going to give my child a bath now before my ass permanently molds to the shape of this spot on the couch. Wonder if I could con A1 into doing it for me? I just thought of another song I want to snag from Limewire.

What I'm listening to: Minute by Minute by The Doobie Brothers, up next With or Without You by U2.

Next Best Thing

So my girls trip to St. Louis got cancelled, that sucked a little bit at first. Saturday morning I called Friend1 to see how her FIL was doing and she said they still weren't sure what was going on with him but that she was going to go shopping around here to get away from the hospital and asked if I wanted to come meet her. She said we should call Friend2 and see if she would meet us too. Since Friend2 and I had been all over creation the night before there really wasn't that much shopping we could do......or was there?

We all got the go ahead from the husbands and it was "Girls Day Out"! We met and had lunch at one of our favorite places and then hit the mall and surrounding stores like we'd never been there before. Just being out and talking and laughing and making fun of each other's choices in clothes was so much fun. We talked about how fat we were and how since it was warm the hoochies were out in full force. Does 70 degrees seriously warrant shorts cut up to the coochie and tank tops with boobs busting out of them? What will these people wear when it gets really hot? I shudder to think about it. Anyway, there were some good bargains to be had and the three of us went to places that Friend2 and I didn't go to the night before. A1 racked up on some cool clothes (Four shirts and a pair of cargo pants from Aeropostale = $33) and A2 got two pair of shoes (Spongebob crocs + Nike sandals = $16). He was more excited about the Spongebob box at first. He thought it made a great hat. What's with my baby sticking stuff on his head or around his neck? He'll wear a box on his head, yet if I try to put his baseball hat on him he whips it off, throws it on the floor and yells "nnnnnnnhhh". Sorry, I digress.

I never buy hubby any clothes because he either doesn't like what I pick out, he already has something very very similar or it's too far out of his comfort zone for him to consider. He's content to stick with his Levi's and polos or t-shirts of which we have hundreds. I found me two shirts at Gap ($10 - I'm such a bargain whore!!) that look so cute with capris and my new chocolate brown shoes I got the night before. I could seriously go into business as a personal shopper to save folks money. Why pay full price when you don't have too and you still get the name brand stuff?

While I was out shopping the guys did some stuff around here. They moved the dog pens, which wasn't an easy chore. Woo hoo, I wasn't here for that. They also got A2's swimming pool out and apparently let him slosh around in it in his new Chuck Taylors. Arrrgh, now they are on the deck drying out. Good thing I found him some sandals or he'd have nothing to wear today. Poor little A2, mommy goes shopping and leaves him home with his Daddy and brother and what does he have to show for it....two skint up knees, a mismatched outfit, hair that looks like it hasn't been brushed in a week, and soaking wet tennis shoes. A rocking good time was had by all!!

I haven't worked out per se in the past two days but I don't really feel bad about it since I walked around for almost six hours on Friday and then for about seven on Saturday. Surely that counts for something. Today I'm going to help hubby build some sort of shade thing for the dogs and take back a pair of pants I found for A1 that were too big. So what we didn't get to go out of town, we managed to have a great weekend hanging out with each other and we got to spend time with our families too. I didn't think I would have missed them that much but I was wrong.
I might have cried a little bit if we had actually gone away but don't tell them I told you that they're just dumb ol' boys! ;-)

What I'm listening to on my iAppendage: Waiting on the World to Change by John Mayer, after that Here Comes My Girl by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, all the while in the background A2 has discovered that sticking his fingers in his ears and yelling is super cool.

Wasn't Meant To Be

It's 9:30pm on Friday night and guess where I am? Sitting on my couch with my guys playing on the computer while they watch Nacho Libre. My trip to St. Louis got cancelled at the last minute today. Friend1 called and said that her father in law had to be rushed to the hospital because his blood pressure dropped to a dangerously low level. She was on her way to meet Friend2 when she got the call. I'm disappointed that we didn't get to go but really hope all is OK with her F-I-L.

Friend2 called and cancelled our room and it didn't cost us anything which was good news. Since we both had free baby sitters we still took advantage of the situation. She and I left my house at about 2 went to the mall and about a 1000 other places and had a good time. We got matching shoes for our self and t-shirts for our little ones. I even found a huge tub of 52 pieces of sidewalk chalk for $3. I'm excited about that! Hope it doesn't rain tomorrow so we can bust out some artwork on our driveway. We've got a lot of space to draw on since our driveway circles around to both sides of the house. Friend2 and I went to eat at a pasta house and gabbed about any and everything. She dropped me off at around 8:30. It was good not to wag children around and to be able to shop as long as we wanted in each store we went into. My feet hurt since I wore my flip flops for the first time this season but it was worth it.

I'm a little happy that we didn't get to go because my guys actually acted excited to see me and happy that we all get to hang out this weekend. I love them all so much! How'd I get so lucky?!

Since this Nacho Libre movie has got to be the stupidest thing I've seen in a long while (yep, it beats out Norbit) I'm left to scour Limewire for new songs for my iPod.

What I'm listening to now: Dream On by Aerosmith, up next Tiny Dancer by Elton John. Love that song. It reminds me of one of my favorite movies, Almost Famous.

Going to go sulk a little bit now but look cute doing it in my new brown Skechers that feel like I'm walking on a cloud. They kinda look like ballerina shoes.

Ciao!

I'm So Excited!!

It's almost here! Frrriiiiidddaaayyy!! Can you tell I'm excited tomorrow is Friday? I've cleaned the house like a crazy lady this week. Washed up about 100 loads of laundry, scrubbed toilets, stocked the guys up on milk and diapers and all I have to do now is find me some clothes to wear for my trip to St. Louis!

Hubby is coming home early tomorrow to stay with A2 and I'll be sitting on the curb waiting for the girls to come pick me up as soon as I see his car round the corner. I'm going to miss my guys but only in the sense that I'll call them to make sure they haven't burned down the house and to make sure they are changing A2's diapers on a regular basis. If left up to A1 and Hubby poor A2's diaper would get so full it would weigh an easy 15lbs before they changed him. I should be getting all of the pillows we own out of the closets and putting them on the floor on my side of the bed. Why? Because for some reason when I leave Hubby alone with the boys he refuses to put A2 in his own bed at night. The last time I spent the night away from them A2 slept with his daddy and fell off the bed......twice.

Been working out this week. Sweet! I actually felt so good last night after I worked out that I can't wait to do it again tonight. I started out just running on the treadmill and not doing the Bowflex last week but I've incorporated it back into the routine this week. Last night I did my 20 minutes on the Bowflex and then I ran on the treadmill for 20 minutes. I really really want to reach my goal by May 21st!

American Idol has officially pissed me off but will I continue to watch it?? Of course but only to see just how long Snoozejaya is actually going to last. Can you believe Howard Stern and his cronies have jumped on the vote for the worst bandwagon??!! I'm going to go out on a limb and say that after this season there will be some changes in how the voting is done or at least there should be anyway. And what the hell is up what that stupid little girl that kept crying!!! Can anyone here besides me smell a plant?? How the hell else can you explain the fact that it looked like she was OBVIOUSLY faking and on top of that she was sitting right in front of the frikkin' PRODUCER of the show. Puuhleeze! Icing on the cake....she was on the Today show this morning and she was asked whether or not she was going to the finale. I can answer that. Of freaking course she's going. Gaaawwwh!

In other TV news, A1 and I watch together from time to time this little show on the Discovery Channel called It Takes A Thief. Awesome.Show! First thing that's awesome about it is that there are these two super hot (I mean super hot) guys on it. They are ex-burglars and they go around to different neighborhoods with their camera crew and break into random houses, ransack them, take their possessions and then wait for the family to come home, realize what happened and then they confront the family. They all sit down and the family gets to watch the actual burglary take place and then they are outfitted with a kick ass alarm system and tips on how to keep other potential burglars away. It's interesting to see how a couple of little things can keep burglars at bay. The cool thing about this show is that after about a week or so of giving them their new system and teaching them how to work it, the burglars come back to see if they are implementing the new systems and try to break in again. It's amazing how many of the houses they get into again. Yes, the family gets all their stuff back but only after the burglars lay it all out on a table to see what was taken. You should check it out. Today they got about $20,000 worth of stuff from this one family and even took the dog. Brutal.

New little feature I'm adding since I'm addicted to my friggin' iPod now more than ever and I know you want to know: What am I listening to right this minute.

I'm listening to That's The Way I Like It by KC and the Sunshine Band. Up next, Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams. I'm a nerd. There are better songs....worse ones too! You'll get to see how my taste in music varies with each new post. Please contain your excitement.

Got to go pack now. **Imagine me dancing around like a fool, grinning from ear to ear** Wwwwoooootttt!!!

I Love My Life

It's already been established I'm not up for Mom Of The Year or anything like that but the past two, make that three, days have definitely upped my chances. Sunday was just an average day around here and I wanted to make it special for A1. He is such a great kid and has such a sweet loving heart that I feel bad sometimes when A2 steals the spotlight. I try to go out of my way to do things with A1 but he's creeping ever so closely to those teenage years that he's not going to want to hang out with me so much very soon. I asked hubby if his feelings would be hurt if I left him home with A2 and took A1 to see a movie. Since he's the best husband in the world he said go ahead.

After I made some lunch A1 and I sat down and tried to decide on a movie. I already knew what he wanted to see (Norbit) and I considered using my super Jedi mom skills to sway his decision (Dead Silence) but held back because it was all about him. For a second there it looked like he was going to pick Dead Silence but no luck.

We left and had a nice chat on the way there. Got our tickets, loaded up on junk even though we had just finished lunch and settled in. He loved the movie. He was laughing his tush off all the while scarfing down Twizzlers. I thought it was OK, it had some funny parts to it. It was nice to not have to engage any brain cells to follow along.

Yesterday rocked because A1 came home with his report card and even though there was a discrepancy on it, he once again had straight A's. My children are so S-M-R-T! Because I'm such a sucker for my children I decided to go swimming with the family last night. We went to the athletic club a week or so ago and the guys swam while I watched. I wasn't ready to embarrass myself so my clothes stayed on! Last night I didn't care. I threw on a tank top and some of hubby's swimming trunks and we had a great time. All four of us swam around, playing, being goofy. A2 takes to the water like a little fish. He was trying to float on his back like me and had the most fun jumping off the top of the ladder to his daddy. A1 and I raced across the pool underwater and he smoked me. Big o'l girl doesn't swim as fast as she use too! I'm working on it. After a while we moved over to the hot tub and it felt amazing!

Today I'm A2's hero. He's addicted to Popsicles and since the pop-tart I tried to give him for breakfast (don't judge, he won't eat ANYTHING!) wasn't hitting the spot I caved and he's sitting here beside me watching Backyardigans with purple Popsicle (#2) juice running down his chin.

I love my kids!

I should be up cleaning my house instead of sitting here blogging but I'll get around to it. I'm excited because this Friday I leave for St. Louis with two of my super girlfriends for our annual shopping trip. For the past three or so years in March we take one weekend and spend the night somewhere, shop all day on Saturday and then come home exhausted and broke. Can't.Wait. It's going to be so great not having to worry about anything other than where we want to eat. Did I say I can't wait?!! I was hoping to have dropped a couple of more pounds before the trip but I feel good with where I am right now. I'm making progress and LOVE it. I found yet another pair of jeans I can wear in my closet the other day when A1 and I went to the movies and I am soo going to wear them on Saturday! There are still about 20 pair of jeans to go. I did mention I was a jeans whore right?

I love jeans!

Got to go call my husband, it's after lunch time and I haven't bugged him all day. What am I thinking?! He'll think something is wrong with me. It's a wonder he gets anything accomplished at work but I get bored sometimes and just want to chat with him. I was suppose to get up and make him breakfast this morning but snoozed right through it all. Best part about that, he let me without any fuss and kissed me on the head before he left.

I love my husband!

Mini Me and Other Junk

It's one thing when your child starts to talk. And it's another when they walk around copying everything you say. But, when he starts using the things you say in his own daily "conversation", it's a little disconcerting. Mainly because in my case, it makes me think that I sound like a 14 year old girl at a sleepover party.

At 20+ months now A2 has picked up a few words here and there and even though it still sounds mostly like jibberish, I can understand at least a little bit of what he is saying. I fully understand what he's saying when he points to the television and screams Bob Bob that Spongebob is either on or should be turned on pronto. He can let us know that he wants come juice. And he loves to ask "what are you doin?".

I realized it when I heard him tell me "blahblahblah, kay?" the other day that I seriously need to reconsider some of my phrasings. At first, I couldn't figure out what he said. And then I thought about it, and realized what it was. And worse, I knew why - because I say that all the time. Not the blahblahblah part but the emphasis of "kay" at the end of my sentences. His other favorite thing to do is to walk around with my cell phone mashed up against his head jabbering, "whhhutarreeyoooodoin'?", "mmkkay", "byeee". Again, he sees me doing it and he's just mimicking.

The final straw was when we were in the kitchen and I dropped a cup that I was trying to put in the cabinet. I caught myself before I said anything other than, "OH, Crr". I was going to say "Oh crap" but since he was right there I didn't. Guess what? It didn't stop him from saying it. Yes, my little 20 month old said, "Ooooh, bap!". That friends translates into "Oh crap". If I didn't know any better I would wash my own mouth out with soap. Just last night he found another use for the word crap that was pretty funny. He likes to come downstairs with us while we work out. It's fun for him to run around and since we don't spend a whole lot of time down there he likes to case the place for any candy that may be laying around.

Last night he hit the jackpot. On the end table he found a bucket, yes bucket, of bubble gum. He climbed up there, got him a couple of pieces and promptly brought them to us to unwrap. His Daddy bit off a tiny piece and gave it to him to chew up. When he was done with it he threw it in the trash. This was not his first experience with bubble gum thanks to his Daddy.

Anyway, after he threw away his piece naturally he wanted more. I didn't want to keep filling him up with sugar since we work out at night so I gave him a tiny bit of my ABC gum. He put it in his mouth, chewed it a second, took it out, looked at it and said..."dissssnnnttsss bap!" Hubby and I busted out laughing because we heard it as, "this is crap!" He didn't want gum that had already been chewed. He wanted the fresh stuff. We have seriously got to watch what we say around this child. It's one thing for him to pick it up from A1 or his Daddy but from his mother...come on!

And while I'm thankful he's not cursing or calling names yet, it's a bit surprising to hear your own "colloquialisms" thrown out on a daily basis - particularly from someone so small. So my new plan is to start using big $1 words - like "bucolic" or "loquacious".

Guess I'll have to stop watching The Real World too, huh? Crap!

Workout progress is moving along nicely. I ran on the treadmill Thursday night, skipped Friday to download songs from Limewire, and ran yesterday in my new running shoes Hubby dear bought for me. Weighed this morning and I'm at 146 and holding. I put on the pair of jeans I've been salivating to wear and they button and I could get away with wearing them but they are just a wee, ok a lot, tight across the hiney but they would button which is a far cry from what they would do three months ago. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that in two weeks I'll be able to wear my favorite jeans with no trouble at all. Feels good to be back in my routine.

Wanna know how to spell awesome? A1. Hubby and I needed to run some errands yesterday and A1 wasn't interested in going at all so he stayed home. I figured he would just sit around and watch television and play on the computer while we were gone and then gripe about how long it took us when we got back. Nope, I was wrong. Guess what he did? That child vacuumed and mopped the floors for his mother. I know! Pretty freaking awesome huh? How'd I get so lucky? I'm guessing it had something to do with the little heart to heart he and his dad had the night before about getting more flies with honey than vinegar. A1 had an attitudinal flare up the day before and needed to be reminded of a few things. Ahhh, preteens. I'm thinking the fact that I spent the last three days in a row playing board games with him helped a little bit too. Either way, I was so proud of him.

Wanna know how to spell goofy? A2. That child cracks me up and it scares me because as I said before he's a scaled down version of his mother, dad, and brother all in one. Are we that silly? As you may or may not know, we've been working on the potty training, barely, but still working on it a little bit. He likes to whiz in the potty cup but will only do it if you hold it right up against him. He hasn't mastered sitting down on it or standing over it. Every time he tries to sit down on his potty chair it flips him out in the floor. Pretty funny stuff.

I'm waiting out the warmer weather so he can just go pee on trees. That worked for A1 but hubby is sticking to the potty chair pretty good. We were in Wal-mart Friday and hubby dear decided to pick up one of the potty seats that just fits on top of your toilet thinking that he would take to that better since he watches us use the toilet every single time we need to go. Anyway, it's blue and has Spongebob and Patrick on it so why wouldn't he want to sit on it and do his business? He doesn't want to sit on it because it's so freaking high up in the air that's why! Plus it has cool pictures on it and it's a lot more fun to pack it around and point out to his mother that Bob Bob is on it every five seconds. We should have gotten the plain white one.

The funniest thing though was last night. I went to the bathroom and of course he was right there so I finished and put the new seat on the toilet, hoisted him up there and reassured him he wasn't going to fall in. No luck. He wanted down immediately. Fine. I obliged and went back into the living room. Two minutes later here comes A2 from out of my bedroom with his new potty seat............ Stuck.Around.His.Neck.

I kid you not. What would make him think that the potty seat would serve a much better purpose dangling from his neck? He started to fuss because naturally it went on a lot easier than it was going to come off. What did I do? My options were to race to him in a concerned manner to remove the toilet seat from his head or, better yet, yell for A1 to get the camera between massive belly laughs. I got at least five pictures and a good hearty laugh. Hubby had to pull the seat from this child's head because I was so tickled. I know, I'm a bad mom (just sometimes).

Next up I'll tell you how excited I am about my upcoming girls only weekend and how bored I am with American Idol, this season is hands down worst.season.ever!

Fell off the Frikkin' Wagon

Hello My Name is....And I Suck At Working Out!

Wonder why I haven't mentioned working out or my weight loss project in the past couple weeks or so? It's cuz I fell off the wagon and haven't been doing it. Today is the day though that I recommit to all of you and promise to stay on track. I haven't been horrible. We actually made it up to the athletic club and played racquetball the other day and it was so much fun.

A1 loved it so much he's addicted now. That will motivate me to go play with him now because if I don't then all I will hear every five minutes from him will be, "Mom, can we go play racquetball?" or "When can we go back to the PAC, Mom?". Seriously, every.five.minutes! If nothing else he is persistent.

I feel bad for slipping but I have had good reason. I wasn't able to work out for one week for sure and last week I didn't want to push, plus last week seemed to be shorter by about 25 to 30 hours. It flew by!

I'm doing pretty good about eating better. I'm eating Raisin Bran for breakfast/lunch and a smaller portion of whatever I make for supper. That Raisin Bran will clean you out buddy. There is a challenge on the side of the box that says eat 2 to lose 10. I can only eat one bowl a day, otherwise I'd spend about an hour on the shitter everyday. Did I mention that it will clean you out? I found this yummy water at Sam's the other day. It's new from Tropicana and I can down that stuff without skipping a beat. I'm not a big fan of water by itself so I have to find the flavored ones. These only have 4 grams of sugar in them and don't have the tart aftertaste that some waters have. Haven't been doing so good on giving up the Dr. Pepper though. That stuff is what I imagine crack would be like if I had ever tried it. Can't.Live.Without.It. I try to only have one glass a day though.

I'm pretty comfortable in my size 10 jeans right now. They fit good, no overflow and I can breathe in them. I can actually wear an 8 if they have the fabulous word Stretch on them somewhere. I found four pair of pants at Old Navy the other day and bought them all in 8, only one had stretch and I wore them out shopping. Hubby like the view from behind and that was awesome! I'm at 146 and would like to drop about 16 more pounds in a perfect world but would settle for 10. My goal is to fit into the 8's with a little room to spare.

I've loaded up my iPod with some rocking workout music and it's back to business. I ran on the treadmill last night for 30 minutes and tried to do some floor work. Tried, because Hubs brought A2 down there and he thought it was hilarious to run and pounce on me every five seconds. Oprah said that people who blog about their weight loss regimes were more likely to stick to it. That may be true if it were strictly a diet blog but I have too much other junk to blog about. I'll try it though. Wish me luck. I want to reach my goal by May 21st.

She Shops.....She Scores!!

Ok, so I had a severe bout of cabin fever the other day and HAD to get out of the house before I went insane. A2 and I loaded up and hit the road. We went to Old Navy and I'm really disappointed in their baby boy selection. It's small and shoved in the back section. The baby girl section is huge and takes up about three times the space that the boy stuff does. Whatever. They didn't have anything new that A2 didn't already have in his closet so I ventured over to the sale side.

PAY DIRT! There was a rack that had pants on it for.......$1.97. I bout shit my pants when I saw it. I found a pair of black cargo pants that was the soft feeling material, another black pair that were regular material, a camouflage pair in the soft material (for around the house), and a pair of skinny jeans all for less than two bucks a piece. Oh, yes, I said skinny jeans. That just means they were the ones that fit the leg closer and they tapered in as they got to the ankle. Not that my ass is skinny or anything. I also found a tank top for the same price. I was giddy when I went to the checkout with all my stuff and it was only $10.44. Hell yeah!

Left there and we went to Gymboree to see if there was anything new for A2. Nope. I really do over buy for that kid. Don't tell my husband I admitted that though. Gave up on finding him something after we went to Gap and there was still nothing he didn't already have there.

Stopped into Aeropostale for A1, he's all about the label these days, and found him a couple of shirts for less that $5 each. I'm a rocking shopper. Yes, I may over buy but I NEVER pay full retail! I came home with two bags with a total of seven items inside them for less than $20. How can hubby fuss about that??!!!

Shopping rocks. I'll have to get out again this week and save us even more money!

Love you Honey!

The Panty Drawer -- or one for my dad to skip

Woke up, got outta bed, dragged a comb across my head. Yadda yadda. I was in a mood today where I wanted to organize something and didn't care what it was. Don't know where in the hell that came from and can only hope it doesn't hit again anytime soon. Since I tried to pull out a pair of panties from the panty drawer and could only get it open about one inch I figured what the heck I'll go through that thing.

It's been ages since I went through and weeded that thing out and it definitely showed. There were some drawers (or panties for you non southerners) in there that were older than my first born. Why have I saved those things? I broke them into categories as I was pulling them out.

Older than dirt - These were the ones that go back at least 13+ years. The elastic no longer works in them, if I tried to put them on they'd just roll down because the elastic has either rotted or has been stretched so far out it no longer snaps back. I could hold them up to the window and actually see through some of them. Half of them had threads hanging from the legs that were longer than my actual leg and some looked like a rat had been chewing on them with all the holes they had. These were also the ones that had I tried to put a couple of them on now they'd only make it half way up my thigh. Yeah, I'm glad I've hung onto all of those.

Cartoon characters etc. - So I'm juvenile, who cares! This pile consisted of Snoopy, Bugs Bunny, Garfield, and Sylvester and Tweety drawers. Some with candy corn on them, skulls for Halloween and other various holiday pictures all over them.

Granny Panties - Ahhh, these are the one that I love to put on when I just want to be comfy and don't care. They usually hit about boob level and cover the entire ass from side to side with no peakage whatsoever. You could camp out in these things. These are fabulous under nightgowns or when I'm cramping and everything hurts to touch me.

Thongs - There were way to many of these things. But if you read Glamour you must know by now that the number one fashion Don't is the dreaded VPL (visible panty line). Therefore we endure the material shoved directly in the ass crack and know we are not committing a fashion no no...at least on the outside. I broke these into two piles. The first was the ones that I could actually wear and not feel like I was being sliced in two. They generally had the thinner back string. The other pile contained the ones that had the thicker back string and felt like there was a hand towel shoved between the ass cheeks when I wore those.

Period Panties - These vary in style but most of them were the cotton briefs that looked like a natural disaster had taken place inside. These are the ones that I pull out when Aunt Flo comes into town and don't care too much if she spills the wine in those. I'd be mortified if I were to get caught in them at any point (car accident or what not) but they serve their purpose. These are also the ones that I'm forced to wear when all the others are dirty or when I'm giving clear NO signals to the hubby.

Current Rotation - These were stuck in the front and were the ones that even though the stupid drawer only opened up about an inch I could reach in and grab these. These consisted of the ones that actually match some of the bras I own and I wear when I'm giving YES signals to the hubby. These are mostly ones I get from Old Navy (love them) and my freebies from Victoria's Secret (love the free panty coupons!). On that note, I haven't gotten a free panty coupon since Christmas. What's up with that!!!??? I need some new panties dammit! It's a highlight to my day to get a free coupon in the mail. Do you use yours? If not send them to me. I'm not above going in and getting my free pair!

The last pile consisted of the, What was I (mostly HE) thinking collection - These were the see through (on purpose) ones, the itchy lace ones, the ones that had furry puff balls on the front, and the super teeny ones (I'm talking dental floss here). These made me laugh. Half of them had never been worn but it's kinda kinky to at least own them.

There had to be over 100 pair of panties in that stupid drawer plus some socks and batteries ***blushing*** and a couple of bikini's. No wonder it wouldn't open very far. What did I do with all of them you ask? Refused to throw a single pair away, put every last one back in the drawer, and took out those damn socks since I'm sure they were what was keeping the drawer from opening and closing.

Ahhh, it feels good to organize.

Dear Hair,

Oh, hair. Why do you torment me?

Other women have glossy, shiny, bouncy hair. Hair that gets songs written about it. Hair that gets stares and sighs. Why can’t that be you?!

I've tried to take care of you. I’ve washed you, conditioned you, styled you, brushed you. I’ve used natural shampoo, highly expensive chemical concoctions, three minute miracles, long term plans, and overnight conditioning treatments. And here you sit, looking stupid AGAIN. Another day of looking like I slept in the park.

First of all, you’re naturally curly and I can live with that even though you don’t always give me the tight pretty curls I like but most of the time opt out for the stupid humps that bear no resemblance to curls at all. I’ve tried to straighten you from time to time using expensive straightening creams, mediocre straightening devices and what happens? As soon as I walk outside into the slightest bit of humidity you do that fucked up humpy thing again. Can’t I get a break!

Secondly, you drink conditioner like you’re a frat boy sucking suds. I’ve conditioned you every damn day, and you’re crispy and frizzy. Yesterday, I didn’t even use shampoo, just conditioner, and you’re still a fried mess. Would one day of shine kill you?

And let’s talk about the cut. I have no money to blow, so I can’t afford a good expensive cut. I can afford Wal-Mart, maybe, but that way I’d have a short stupid haircut. (Is that all they teach those people how to cut?) So I don’t cut it, and now I have a semi-long stupid haircut. I try to keep it long because my husband likes it like that and so I can have styling options, because maybe someday I’ll come up with something that looks good. Riiiiiiight. Thank the Lord for ponytail holders.

I’ve seen women with beautiful hair. I know they exist –– Jennifer Aniston, Eva Mendes, Sarah Jessica Parker, bitch in the checkout at Wal-Mart. They have glorious gorgeous fabulous tresses. I wish I could have them, just for a day.

But noooooo. You perch atop my head, like a fuzzy lopsided stringy nasty dead wombat. You are the cockroach in the strawberry sundae of my life. Screw you, where’s my hat?

PS: Mom, would you consider giving me a haircut when I come in next weekend?

I Can't But I Can

I can't believe it's Monday already, the weekend flew by for me. I can say that it definitely looks like we had a party over the weekend by the looks of my house. We didn't. The most exciting thing that happened around here this weekend was that the neighbors, who have been trying to sell their house for months now, had an open house and A1 and Hub-a-dub went over to be nosey. Shame.On.Them.

I can't wait for spring to finally get here. I can feel the spring fever creeping up on me already.

I can't believe the drastic weather changes around here. I can wear short sleeves and jeans one day but need a heavy overcoat and gloves the next.

I can't believe we had to take A1 to the mall to buy new clothes and he actually spent some of his own money. I can see the girl next door is finally getting to him.

I can't find a good cleaner to get the frikkin' milk stains off my couch cushion. I can see it's going to be a lot easier to just flip the stupid thing over to the other side.

I can't wait for tomorrow night's American Idol. I can only hope they boot that kid Sanjaya off on Thursday. (I really don't like him.)

I can't decide whether or not to go get my hair cut. I can say that it's starting to take on a Buckwheat style fro. (I seriously have the worst hair in history.) It has a mind of it's own.

I can't find a decent conditioner for my hair that I like. I can pull out about 10 half used bottles of conditioner from under my sink right now.

I can't sit here through another episode of Jimmy Neutron without screaming. I can tell A2 isn't going to be happy when I change the channel.

I can't force myself to watch Days of Our Lives these days. I can just get the quick updates off my favorite Days site without having to suffer thorough the character assassinations they are doing right now. Note to new writer: Stop messing up the good characters and stop with the freaking flashbacks already. I know what happened yesterday, I don't need a 15 minute reminder in the middle of the show.

I can't believe that I'm finally losing weight. I can tell a real difference in my clothes. (This makes me happy.)

I can't believe you didn't see A2 shaking his booty in the middle of Shoe Carnival on Saturday. I can tell you it was hilarious. He heard some disco song come on and first started walking weird from one foot to the other and once he found his spot, he stood there and shook his butt back and forth to the music. We got a lot of looks and awww's. A2 and I love us some disco.

I can't believe the doctor who stitched me up after having A2 didn't quite do it right and I'm still having side pains. I can only hope she stubs her toe today at work. Tomorrow and the next day too. (My side seriously hurts bitch.)

I can't believe the same doctor didn't do the best job on A2's surgery either. I can tell I'm going to call her bad names on more than one occasion.

I can't find my cell phone now because A2 loves to wander around with it. I can only hope he doesn't stick it in the toilet.

I can't see the floor in A1's room. I can hear him complaining now that he doesn't have any clean clothes to wear. (I'm not going in there to get them.)

I can't figure out how to load pictures onto my iPod. I can tell you I'm going to feel like an idiot when I finally do figure it out. I'm sure it's that simple.

I can't stop sleeping with my iPod earbud in my ear at night now. I can touch my ear in the morning and it hurts.like.hell. because I slept with it in all night.

I can't wait to go on a vacation. I can imagine me on the beach somewhere loving life. (This won't happen any time soon but it's a nice thought I like to have.)

I can't see me in a bikini yet. I can use that thought as inspiration to keep working out.

I can't see this house getting any cleaner, the laundry getting and closer to being done, the dinner being cooked for tonight, or the baby taking a bath on his own as long as I continue to sit here. I can dream.

Quick Update

Ok, so I was wrong about which guys were going to receive their walking papers this week on Idol. I'm pretty shocked actually that Nick Pedro left this week. I just knew his looks would carry him out for at least a couple more. After thinking about it I'm pretty sure it had a little something to do with his dedication. He should have dedicated something to his dog or somebody else and let the lusting females out there at least perceive him as available. I'm guessing his loving tribute to his girlfriend made him lose some of his appeal. I didn't think he was as hot after I saw that he was in love. Just sayin'. AJ's ousting wasn't as big of a shock but I'm sure as hell not alone in the thinking that Sanjaya should have left before him! Even Paula made a comment. Give me a break. Sanjaya even knows he's way out of his league. But I digress.

I called it on the girls. I can't believe that skank Antonella is safe but then again she owes a lot of that to the worsters and probably all the horny teenage guys, or really anyone of the male persuasion. I'm sure they'd like to keep her around in the hopes of more pictures surfacing. It finally got the best of Huz last night and he had to Google up some of them. He didn't see them all but I helped him find the better part of them. He didn't see anything wrong with the pictures. He'll have fun with this with my Dad. I think I even heard him yell out "Go Tar Heels" once. (You'd have to see her picture on the basketball to get that).

K, gotta run. Don't tell anyone I'm admitting this to you but I'm being a TV surf whore right now. I've been glued to the frikkin' television all day watching Anna Nicole's funeral coverage. I had to go back to the doctor for a follow up today and....wait for it.....set MSNBC to tape while I was gone. Gaaaw, I'm such a loser sometimes! Found out though that Entertainment Tonight was actually inside and they were allowed the rights to the funeral. I.Can't.Wait. Sick I know but hey it's just between you and me right?!

Rest in Peace Anna.
Virgie Arthur - Get.A.Life.

Girls, Girls, Girls

So the girls sang last night on American Idol. I'm starting to think that this has got to be one of the worst years for American Idol lovers like myself. I didn't watch the first year of the show but think that Kelly Clarkson is a definite star. I so would have loved her and voted like crazy for her I'm sure. The second year of Idol is when I came on board and loved, loved, loved it. I think Clay was robbed but that's another story. I was so excited for season three to start I couldn't stand it. Then it started and I was sooo disappointed. That was the absolute worst season ever. I hated everybody on there. Not one single person had any business being on there. And Fantasia won. Gag. I stopped watching. I couldn't stomach it. Season four redeemed itself and I was in love with Carrie Underwood. I called her winning from the beginning even though people made fun of her for just standing there like a robot. Last season was fun. I thought something was fishy about Chris not making it but I wasn't heartbroken. It probably did his ego some good to have a heaping helping of humble pie. Katharine was my second choice to win but Taylor pulled it off. So far he has been the least successful but I think he'll pick up steam soon.

With all that said, this year sucks. There are maybe two or three stand outs and the rest of this motley crew just stinks. What were they thinking when they picked this group? I find it hard to believe that with all the people that tried out that this was the best they could come up with. So here's my dish: First up was my least favorite person of all Gina Glockson. I thought she was dressed horribly, too trashy for my taste. Carrie Underwood's rendition of this song blew hers way out of the water. Note to Gina: Look in the mirror before you go on stage and swallow some of that ego you have. This chick has herself convinced she is better than she really is. Hate to say it though, she'll be around for a while.

Next is Alaina Alexander and she sang a Dixie Chicks diddy. She should have picked another song. This isn't my favorite Chicks song and she really hurt herself by picking it. I think she is an adorable girl. She actually reminds me of my friend CA who is in Chicago. (Man, I miss her!) She didn't sing it bad but she didn't sing it well enough to stand out. I'm afraid she might just be in the bottom three or ousted this week. Depends on what happens with Antonedeafella. I'll explain more when it's her turn.

Third up is LaKisha. I think she may have peaked last week. She did much better then. I was a little bored with her Midnight Train rendition last night but again, she'll be around for a while. I think she proved that she isn't very versatile and that may be a problem for her in upcoming weeks.

Following LaKisha was Melinda Doolittle and I'll have to give it to her that girl can sing. But there is just something about her that I can't get past. She'll make a GREAT radio singer but just not someone that has a good stage show. I'm a little bored with her timid act. She reminds me of a puppy that's been kicked around and is waiting for the next wallop. Get some brass girl. So far she seems to be the one the judges have pimped out as their front runner. We'll see what America thinks. I like her voice but I'm not going to make the effort to vote for her. I have a feeling a lot of other people are going to feel the same way.

Next up is the one I was waiting for all night. I was curious to see if Ryan would make mention of all the controversy surrounding her this week but nope not one peep. I don't understand why unless they know she's on the way out the door. First of all let me say that if the entire week has been chocked full of nothing but accusations of you being a ho, why in the HELL would you come out on stage in such a skanky outfit?! Note to AntHOnella: put some clothes on you stupid asswipe. Try to endear yourself with all the people who aren't sure whether or not to believe you are a sweet misunderstood girl or some loose tramp. With that said, she raped the hell out of Celine's Because You Loved Me. I actually love this song and now. Not.So.Much. Then after she had to have known she stunk it up, she had the nerve to roll her eyes at the judges. Two words. Buh Bye. UNLESS, the worsters over at Votefortheworst.com can pull out a save for her. They have her picked as their candidate right now and they vote in droves for the one they get behind.

Off subject a little bit. Votefortheworst was started by a group of folks that believe American Idol is rigged and even though the producers say America chooses the winner the worsters think it's predetermined and the judges use their comments to sway the voting public. So they pick a contestant that clearly sucks and votes like hell for them just to keep that person in the running to try to piss off the judges. Whether or not it works is beyond me. That's why I made the comment about Alaina earlier. By all rights Antonella should be handed her walking papers on tonight's show. If they pull it off and managed to scrape up enough votes for her then it's to Alaina's detriment. I have their link on the left hand side. I like to go there and read some of the stuff they say. If you are easily offended stay away.

Back on track, next up was Jordin Sparks. I think she is cute as a button and has a very likable personality. She did a pretty good job tonight. I liked her better last week. That seems to be a pattern here. I think she let her nerves get away from her and it showed a little bit. She'll be safe. She's probably number three/four for me.

Stephanie Edwards came out looking very beautiful. I liked her white dress even though it may have been a tad too much for this setting. I really liked her a lot last week. She's my number two I think. I HATED the song she sang. She sang it well but that song is by Beyonce and even Beyonce sings it like ass. It's just a bad bad song. I liked her family's kitchen though. I love looking into other people's house to see how they decorate. She's safe. I'd actually vote for her. I have high hopes for this one.

After the beautifully dressed Stephanie comes Leslie, what in the hell are you wearing, Hunt. Seriously, what was she thinking when she put that outfit together? She reminded me of my friend DG who lets her daughter who is five dress herself and actually takes her out in public with what she picks. She sang the same song that AJ sang the night before. I'm not sure which one butchered it worse. I'm thinking he may have beat her out on that. I will say that she has a raspyness to her voice that I like but I'm pretty sure it's the end of the road for our dear sweet Leslie. I think she would have sang the song Gina sang (Alone, by Heart) 10x better than Gina and it would have saved her for another week at least.

Hayley Scarnato came bouncing out next with her upbeat Whitney impersonation. This girl screams spoiled brat to me. I felt a little bad for her when she started crying at the end and I'm sure she won a few thousand votes because of it just to spite Simon. She's borderline. I'm not too impressed with her at the moment. Maybe she'll surprise me next week. I'm sure she's safe.

Finally, it's time for the one I've picked as my favorite so far, Sabrina Sloan. She was very good last week and I can see a lot of potential in her. I thought she was leaps and bounds better than all the rest. I would have hated if she were to have gotten too close to a sharp object though. Could those pants have been any tighter!!?? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say uum no! I was breathing heavy for her. The judges gave her hell for trying to sing Whitney but I think she has the chops to pull it off. Plus I think there is going to be a Whitney week this season so what in the hell are they talking about?! Might as well disqualify all of them if nobody can take on Whitney in their opinion and they've got an entire show dedicated to her. Stupid.

So that's my take on it all. We'll see how it goes.
Guys leaving: Sanjaya Malakar and Brandon Forgot the Last Name
Girls leaving: (Rightfully) Antonella Barba but the worsters may save her. If so then Alaina Alexander and Leslie Hunt.