Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The Panty Drawer -- or one for my dad to skip

Woke up, got outta bed, dragged a comb across my head. Yadda yadda. I was in a mood today where I wanted to organize something and didn't care what it was. Don't know where in the hell that came from and can only hope it doesn't hit again anytime soon. Since I tried to pull out a pair of panties from the panty drawer and could only get it open about one inch I figured what the heck I'll go through that thing.

It's been ages since I went through and weeded that thing out and it definitely showed. There were some drawers (or panties for you non southerners) in there that were older than my first born. Why have I saved those things? I broke them into categories as I was pulling them out.

Older than dirt - These were the ones that go back at least 13+ years. The elastic no longer works in them, if I tried to put them on they'd just roll down because the elastic has either rotted or has been stretched so far out it no longer snaps back. I could hold them up to the window and actually see through some of them. Half of them had threads hanging from the legs that were longer than my actual leg and some looked like a rat had been chewing on them with all the holes they had. These were also the ones that had I tried to put a couple of them on now they'd only make it half way up my thigh. Yeah, I'm glad I've hung onto all of those.

Cartoon characters etc. - So I'm juvenile, who cares! This pile consisted of Snoopy, Bugs Bunny, Garfield, and Sylvester and Tweety drawers. Some with candy corn on them, skulls for Halloween and other various holiday pictures all over them.

Granny Panties - Ahhh, these are the one that I love to put on when I just want to be comfy and don't care. They usually hit about boob level and cover the entire ass from side to side with no peakage whatsoever. You could camp out in these things. These are fabulous under nightgowns or when I'm cramping and everything hurts to touch me.

Thongs - There were way to many of these things. But if you read Glamour you must know by now that the number one fashion Don't is the dreaded VPL (visible panty line). Therefore we endure the material shoved directly in the ass crack and know we are not committing a fashion no least on the outside. I broke these into two piles. The first was the ones that I could actually wear and not feel like I was being sliced in two. They generally had the thinner back string. The other pile contained the ones that had the thicker back string and felt like there was a hand towel shoved between the ass cheeks when I wore those.

Period Panties - These vary in style but most of them were the cotton briefs that looked like a natural disaster had taken place inside. These are the ones that I pull out when Aunt Flo comes into town and don't care too much if she spills the wine in those. I'd be mortified if I were to get caught in them at any point (car accident or what not) but they serve their purpose. These are also the ones that I'm forced to wear when all the others are dirty or when I'm giving clear NO signals to the hubby.

Current Rotation - These were stuck in the front and were the ones that even though the stupid drawer only opened up about an inch I could reach in and grab these. These consisted of the ones that actually match some of the bras I own and I wear when I'm giving YES signals to the hubby. These are mostly ones I get from Old Navy (love them) and my freebies from Victoria's Secret (love the free panty coupons!). On that note, I haven't gotten a free panty coupon since Christmas. What's up with that!!!??? I need some new panties dammit! It's a highlight to my day to get a free coupon in the mail. Do you use yours? If not send them to me. I'm not above going in and getting my free pair!

The last pile consisted of the, What was I (mostly HE) thinking collection - These were the see through (on purpose) ones, the itchy lace ones, the ones that had furry puff balls on the front, and the super teeny ones (I'm talking dental floss here). These made me laugh. Half of them had never been worn but it's kinda kinky to at least own them.

There had to be over 100 pair of panties in that stupid drawer plus some socks and batteries ***blushing*** and a couple of bikini's. No wonder it wouldn't open very far. What did I do with all of them you ask? Refused to throw a single pair away, put every last one back in the drawer, and took out those damn socks since I'm sure they were what was keeping the drawer from opening and closing.

Ahhh, it feels good to organize.


that chick said...

i just clicked over from dgm. it's pretty random to read about the contents of some stranger's underwear drawer, but oddly familiar. i recently threw out my ancient, dilapidated, pre-kid undies and it was suprisingly hard to do. but now the drawer closes. ;)

My Kids' Mom said...

ok, I'm here from DGM not because you said the post was about panties, but because you weren't sure the URL had posted. Honestly, I was just checking! Anyway, you write well and amused me. I'm a compulsive thrower-outer because just seeing clothes that don't fit me depresses me. Out with the old!

MadWoman Meg said...

I found you from DGM - clearly the link you left works :)

Interesting for me to find myself reading a post about panties yet it made me feel at home somehow. Perhaps because I categorize my underwear in much the same way?

Love your blog, will read more often.

This Mom said...

Found you through DGM, and LOVE YOUR BLOG, GIRL!

I'll definitely be back!

DadGoneMad said...

If you truly had panties 13 years of age or older, you're alright in my book, peanut.

DeeDee said...

I have to say I feel a little dirty now having all ya'll read about my old panties but I'm also loving it!! Thanks guys for stopping by my neck of the web!!

Best of all DGM himself paid me a visit...w00t!!

I have so many new blogs to read now that productivity is definitely going to be on a downward spiral or as my husband likes to call it "a typical day for me"!!

Snooty Primadona said...

I found your blog through DGM, thank gawd! You're hilarious and I need lots of that in my life, so I'm blogrolling you. I plan to visit often.

I haven't opened my own panty drawer since my grown kids were born. Yup, it's been a while. I'm afraid I might fall in & never be heard from again.

DeeDee said...

Hey snooty primadona!! Glad to have you. I'm pretty sure you're the first to ever blogroll me. I love it!!