Thursday, June 21, 2007

Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama

Dear Lawwd Make It Stop!

For the past two days my children have done nothing but call my name continuously. I can't step out of their line of eyesight for 2.2 seconds before they freak the hell out and start looking for me. It's driving me batshit caarrraaazzzeee! I'm contemplating locking myself in a closet in the basement with the computer and a Dr. Pepper for about half an hour just to see how they would react. Scratch that, those two would end up with hives or start to hyperventilate or something worse if they couldn't find me for that long. At least that's how they act. I know their freaking throats would be sore because they literally shout out my name in a string of 7 (seven) Mama's at a time when they are looking for me.....or want to ask me a question......or when I'm on the phone.....or the toilet. Pretty much all the time!

High stress around here you ask? Why no child,

I spent Monday making my house livable again from the weekend/week/weekend away. I got all the suitcases emptied and put away. I still haven't done laundry because I HATE doing laundry. Tuesday the two little boys from next door came banging on the door to see if A1 and A2 wanted to come out and play. Since I didn't know them that well I spent most of the day (they were here for like 4+ hours) watching over them and watching how they all interact. I cooked pizza for all of them and A2 was so cute. He had to sit in a big chair at the table with a plate of pizza and a Kool-Aid pouch just like the big boys.

I was so happy that they all played together well. They didn't go near the pool or the dogs and didn't act like lunatics when they came in the house to play. I'm happy to say these kids could come over and play anytime and the next time I won't have to hover so much. Seriously, four boys were in my house playing at once and I'm actually inviting that scenario to take place again. (Did someone slip crack into my Dr. Pepper? Could you? Just kidding. A little. Ok, more than a little. Gaawwd.)

Since they stayed so long I didn't really get to do much around here that day, but I'm not complaining about that at all! Tuesday night we all got in the pool and played around. Hubby was laying on the charm extra thick.

Wednesday the boys and I got in the pool and then they played in the sandbox. I had to go in after a little while, my head felt like somebody had judo chopped me in the back of the neck for the second day in a row. A1 was sooo sweet because he told me I could go lay down and he would take care of the baby. He offered to bring me some medicine or to make me soup. Could this kid be any cooler? Why can't I just freeze him when he's in that sort of mood rather than the snotty one's he cycles through?

The husband came home and stained our front door this week and painted the culverts in the front yard. He's trying hard to make me happy. It's working........a little.

Get this, you'll NEVER guess who hasn't made the time or effort to get off their lazy ass and workout even one time this week. Oh, wait, you know it's me because I'm so predictable like that. I think it's more about feeling blah this week than it is feeling lazy that's kept me from working out.

My feelings were hurt bad (by the husband) over the weekend and it put that twinge of doubt back in my brain that hadn't been there in a [long] while. On the one hand it motivated me to want to look and feel and did I say, LOOK better but on the other hand it has zapped my "give a damn". I still jumped on the scale last night (150) and again this morning (149) and I don't know what I was expecting it to say but I just know I didn't like what it did say. Shocker there, huh? I should be downstairs right now working out, Spongebob is on for an hour and that will/should pacify the boys but I choose to sit here on my tuckus whining about my weight and, I'm guessing, about my hurt ego too.

Ego is a funny thing. We all need an ego fix from time to time I guess but it's how we choose to get it that can cause a ripple effect if we aren't careful. For instance, if I need an ego fix I usually go into my closet and start trying on pants. Sure about half almost all of them don't fit or if they do "fit" and I dare try to wear them out of the house I'd get picked up for solicitation. But there are those times where I pick up that one pair that I'm convinced they wouldn't button and they slide on, up, and together with minimal effort. THAT'S an ego fix. To me.

I guess for others it's having someone think they are something special and telling them all the time or keeping extra relationships on the side, regardless of how mundane or unremarkable, just to prove to yourself you can still do it. Do you ever grow out of needing an ego fix? I surely hope so. I know my hubby isn't going to be happy if/when he reads this post because if you haven't figured it out by now, this whole ego thing is geared towards him. I basically had my ego smashed because he needed a "little" ego boost. Yeah, he's sorry and he's said it over and over again but I wonder if he really understands the ramifications?

So I'm done with my pity party. I'll try not to mention it again. I just needed to purge it all out. I'm about 1,000% positive all this bullshit that's been running through my head since Friday afternoon is what's caused me to feel so blah and to have massive headaches all week. But I'm a big girl now. I can shake it off and move on. Just make sure you aren't near when I decide to could knock you down I'm sure.

On to lighter and brighter things. The sunflowers A2 and I planted have finally started to bloom. Well, two of them anyway. Hubby says they are miniature sunflowers but they seem pretty freaking large to me. They are almost five feet tall! I'm so excited they are blooming. I've never planted anything like that before and have it actually live. Next year I'll have to spread them out a little bit. Once more of them open up I'll post a picture.

Speaking of posting a picture. I had the best intentions of posting a picture of our bed from vacation because it was sooo cushy and I loved it but I haven't been able to find my camera since I've been home. I know it made it home from Florida because A1 and I were looking at the pictures and a video I had taken on it on the way home last Friday. But from that point I have no clue where it got off to. If I know me, I put it somewhere where I would be able to find it once we got home and it would be safe but I'm pretty sure I've had a synaptic misfire and can't remember where that "safe place" would be right now. Hopefully my brain will start functioning normally by tomorrow and my kids will forget my name long enough for me to have a complete thought so I can find it and post some vacation pictures.

I'm out of here for now. I'm on another Limewire kick. Searching for some Keith Urban right now. I don't like men with long hair but this one would definitely not get kicked out of the bed for eating crackers, long hair and all.