Friday, June 22, 2007

The Great Escape

My child (A2) has officially outgrown his crib. I said before that he's been sleeping with me and his daddy for some time now because A) I'm too lazy to get up and schlep him all the way across the house after he falls asleep and B) His daddy is a freak and still after almost two years, will get up in the middle of the night to go stick his finger under the baby's nose to see if he's breathing. I tried to tell him that if he listens he can hear that child breathing over the baby monitor. We've got one of those digital ones that pick up EVERYTHING. I can hear that baby farting at night over that monitor. But he still insists on getting up.

Anyway, last night he fell asleep early and then woke up ready to raise Cain sometime along midnight. My husband was moaning and groaning so I decided to just get up with A2 and try to rock him back to sleep. Didn't work. We sat in his room for about an hour and then he finally got up and went to the little couch in his room and fell asleep on it. Had I known what was about to transpire I would have just left him on it to sleep and taken a chance on him rolling off. But I didn't leave him. Like a good mommy, I tried to gently pick him up and move him over to his crib. That went over like a friggin ton of bricks. He, of course, woke up and started screaming bloody murder.

At this point it's close to 2 in the morning and my eyelids are sagging down to my knees so I kissed him on the head, told him goodnight and shut the door to let him cry it out. I went back to my bedroom and as I go to lay on the bed I hear a door slam across the house. It was A1. He's awake now. Hubby hears it and he's awake again. I told him to just go back to sleep that A2 is just going to have to cry it out. I lay there for less than 10 minutes listening to the baby cry and fighting back the urge to just go get him. But them something strange happens, it sounds like he's getting louder and louder and then I hear him walking towards my room yelling, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama! What the hell!?!

I sling the covers off me and I'm ready to choke A1 out. I just knew he had opened the door and set that baby free. I picked up A2, dumped him on the bed with his daddy, because what the hell, he's already wide awake. I stomp halfway back to his room but he meets me asking me what the crap is going on. I asked him if he let the baby out and he said no way and starts freaking out because he's now convinced there's somebody in the house that did it. I told him that the baby did it on his own and to just try to go to sleep now.

I go back to my room to find the baby snuggled up next to his daddy quiet as a little church mouse grinning from ear to ear. I was defeated so I just crawled back into bed, rolled over and stuck my earbuds in my ears. I was done for the night.

I guess I know what hubby and I are going to be doing this weekend.......turning the crib into a toddler bed. Might as well eliminate the element of him falling out on his head from over the rail. It's hilarious to me that he got out like he did but at the same time it's a little sad. My baby is growing up.

I would have given anything to see how he got out though. Apparently he didn't have trouble with getting out of the bed, it was the door he was struggling with because A1 said he kept hearing the door jiggle and THAT was the part that was getting on his nerves.
Moving along -

My next order of business today. An open letter to HBO.

Dear HBO,
Can you PLEASE stop running freaking Star Wars on every channel you have and at all hours of the day?! I beg of you to take it out of rotation because EVERY SINGLE TIME my husband sits down with the remote control and he sees it on, he turns it to your stupid channel and watches it as if he's never seen it before in his life. I now HATE Star Wars Episodes 1-100, or however freaking many there are now, with every fiber of my being. I would rather listen to a tape recording of my own mother, on a continuous loop, until my eardrums bleed than to watch one more second of those damn movies. (Seriously, she called me the other day out of the blue and left a message and it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up just to hear her voice. ***shuddering violently***) So people at HBO could you please spare my eardrums and possibly the side of my husbands skull and do this one little thing for me. Thanks.

There, I'm done for today. Actually, I'm going to go look for my camera. Again. Man, it's hard to reach this level of boring everyday, but I somehow manage without a problem.

Happy Friday!